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Holiday Blues i guess


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Ive been doing pretty good for the most part since she crushed me and ive even been able to look at the rship wholely and realized that this prob shoulda ended a while ago. This doesnt mean i dont still miss her or love her but we all know it takes more than love. Had that dream last night that she came back to me and realized what she had done and lost, def the first time for that one and it did get to me a bit. Thing is i dont think i want to take her back but if i was presented with the option i dont know if i wouldnt try. My question is for those of you who have been dumped via cheated on, left for someone else or any other heartbreaking situation, would you try again with that person if they came back confessing their mistake and love for what they had? Im talking about long term relationship in which this person was a signif part of your life for many years. This is purely hypothetical and isnt a hope scenario as i truly just am curious to how many of you would handle that. I honestly can say i am not sure and maybe its still quite too early in my healing to know.

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I completely understand where your at. 7 1/2 yrs then said be right bk took 10 days of worry and stress to stop calling ers and do some detective work. With ex . Its all in my first post. Only spoke on phone have not seen him. Everyone thinks I should be furious but I'm just really badly very heartbroken. I still love him and if I were confronted by him now with the sorries and whatever explanation. I admit I really am better off without him. But the fact that I still love him so much and see him face to face I would totally take him back.its been 4 months. God I hope I do not see him any time soon. Even though while laying in bed I expect him to just walk in.this is really not a good place to be in. Good luck to you.

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I'm not sure how long you 2 were together or how long ago it was that u broke up?

I am on month 7 recovering from losing a 5 yr relationship with someone I came to love. Has been very hard to accept and deal with.

I have also had a number of dreams with him in it.

He also 'wandered'.....

 

Would I consider taking him back? Some days yes, some days I think NO. Because in ways I'm mad about the whole ordeal and think.. IF I was worth it and IF he actually 'loved' me, he would not have done this.

In ways I say yes, because I DO still love him and think, if in a few months time, if he were to come back to me and ask about trying again, I'd consider it BUT under certain circumstances. (taking it slow and that he be single for a least a month or so- away from her).

 

So many things, feelings, ideas come popping into our heads a lot.. 'what ifs'? Hard to say, really unless it actually does happen?

 

These are still the 'emotions' i'm dealing with, presently.

*sometimes what end up happening, is they come to realize their love they have for you and realize they do not have as much feelings for the 'other one', you're all they've been thinking about etc. So they can come to realize they DO love you. Are sorry for the stupid thing they've done.. regret so come back again.

 

I just hope he does come to realize what he did have & regrets it! I hope he does feel bad!

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My rship was 6 years and i was always the one that wasnt sure until it flip flopped in the end but i treated her very good and dealt with so so much (she is medicated bi polar) and i know she will learn that its gonna be tough to find someone with all i have to offer that can deal with her. I was her everything for a long time until i wasnt anymore and that hurt like a mfer! I honestly think its for the best in the long run but i also miss my life with her in it and the little family we had. I just dont know if i could get over how she acted in the end. I truly believe in my heart she misses me and is remorseful for this but she is so damn prideful i doubt she would ever ask for another chance so i dont really think about reconcile with us anymore.

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No, I would not take him back. He has caused me many months of turmoil and pain after his cheating and abuse. I'm moving on with my life and he is still trying to piss me off. Saying I love you and apologies are just words. Love is so much MORE than words. Remember that. Do I want a guy who tells me he loves me everyday and apologizes each time he hurts me and tears me apart with his actions? Or do I just want a guy who treats me right, makes mistakes and shows remorse, changes, makes improvements for the both of us, loves me not just in his words but in his action. I realized long ago that wanting my ex back was a toxic love full of drama. I am thankful I am over that. I see NO future where I take my ex back. However, if that future does exist it will take far more than words and apologies. It will take months or years of friendship, gratitude, patience and making a deep effort to show how important I am in his life and how he has truly changed. A person like that is simply not my ex and it would be an act of God if he were ever to become that person.

 

Don't sell yourself short and try to remember what real, genuine love is. Someone who hurts you like this and doesn't show remorse or make up for it, is not giving you the love you deserve. It's okay to have holiday blues but you do deserve much better than that.

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I'm coming from the same 6 years break up. Just like you, my girl left me out of the blue. You know what? Its WE the guys who dont get that message but if you ask me about it.. i would just say. Girls are really clever with breakups (when they are dumpers). The reason i say so is because they make this decision back (maybe 2 - 3 months back). and they find the right time (usually this time is right for THEM, not for boys).

 

Sometimes they get new male friend

sometimes they get their new life they wanted.

 

It could be anything. This is what i realized. My girl was really celever from last 2 months. She had a good abroad trip and when she came back just in next few she started to ask ME about ' i dont think we can be together in future '.

 

And BOOM just within 2 months.. One fine day... she drops that bomb and says.. TO ACCEPT it please. and all those girls tears and stuff.

 

Well... I just wanted to share this with you. This was my little story. I dont mean that this happened to you.. but just sharing with you.

 

Its US here at ENA who are helpful to each other. Believe me just hang in here and read posts from people. Try to spend time with some self help books and read forum posts.

 

YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT! we are really big community! Just accept us as your new family/friends.

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