He ended the date on a handshake?is this good or bad?

[goodheartlady]

Please go ahead and text him. Your mind is made up anyway, and you are not listening to everyone's advice.

 

Some times people need to learn their own lessons.

[Hazyillusions]

I once had a less than one hr 'date' with someone, blew them off in the end and he texted me a lot for the next two months! He also somehow added me when he didnt know my last name and my name isnt that rare.

 

This sort of thing has happened with a few guys. If theyre into you, you'd know. Don't text, its desperate.

One guy has veen trying to get me to hang out with him for many months... He still calls n texts back promptly. Last night he called 2 times lol just cos I replied back to his text. Guys can be very persistent. Stand back.

[Batya33]

I'm thinking just to give me a peace of mind to text just to know where I stand?

 

The trade-off -peace of mind vs. finding a relationship. If you wait and let him initiate this time then you're far more likely to be with someone who is into you as opposed to going on a date with you because he is flattered that you asked, has nothing better to do and/or wants a free meal (or no strings attached hook up). Sometimes we have to delay our need for closure in order to get the long term goal. If you're looking to just hook up with someone then call. If you want to be with someone who sees you as a potentially serious girlfriend give him space to initiate.

[faraday]

But seriously...in online dating...you can't get so attached to people. One date does not equal a relationship. I've went on hundreds of first meets...about 80% ask me out a second time...but...I've only went out on second dates with 9 men. Odds are not in favor for second dates.

 

Online dating works backwards. Normally, you'd meet someone in person...have chemistry...go out on a date...and see if you're compatible from there. With online...you see if you're compatible...then look for chemistry. Chemistry is rare. Otherwise...everyone would be married to the first person they meet online.

[calichick007]

Definitely doesn't sound interested, and I agree the friend story sounds like something he made up when he realized he wasn't into you in person. Under no circumstances would I contact him, but you seem determined to do it so.... if he ignores you (likely result), PLEASE do not contact him again. There will be plenty one and done situations like this in the world of online dating. You'll have to learn to be OK with letting go instead of chasing when all signs point to "not that into you."

[mysty]

He didn't like say the friend thing straight away he said it after like maybe 5minutes as he was asking what I was going to do after. Thats when he said the friend thing.

[Reflective82]

It's clear that you are totally deluded and won't listen to anyone here so why post? He shook your hand after the date and hasn't contacted you since to arrange another- a handshake is about as obvious a "not interested" sign as it gets. But seeing as you are so sure he does like you- why not text him and ask him out? You'll get your answer or maybe he'll agree to see you again but this is a no go

[Hazyillusions]

If hes already askin what you'll do after in the first 5-10 min he's really keen on finding that escape route

[Batya33]

He didn't like say the friend thing straight away he said it after like maybe 5minutes as he was asking what I was going to do after. Thats when he said the friend thing.

 

He said that because he wanted you to know he had to leave sooner than he thought. There probably was a kernel of truth to it -he had told his friend he'd hang out with him later, he just told you that it had to be right after your meeting. If it was such a crisis he would have told you before you met that he'd have to keep it short for his friend, because that would have allowed you to make other plans. Please don't chase after him - you'll feel much better dating someone who is into you.

[mysty]

He also expressed how he was worried about ice skating. I don't know he seemed kinda nervous. I'm not a touchy feely person either so I did keep my distance a little. I'm gonna leave it for the weekend maybe contact him on Monday to see or whatever.

[Reflective82]

wow....deluded and desperate come to mind. good luck

[missmarple]

I don't believe the friend story at all. Sounds like something I use when I'm not interested and I want to cut the date short. But if you absolutely need closure, text him.

[annie24]

He gave me a handshake and said it was nice meeting you keep in touch or he might have say I'll keep in touch .

 

Ouch, that's not good. That's what you would say to a teacher, or a professional colleague. The friend thing sounds a bit like an excuse to keep the date short (not saying it's a lie, but I bet Mr. Heartbroken can wait a few hours).

 

I'd forget this one and move on. If he happens to ask you out on another date, great.

[calichick007]

He also expressed how he was worried about ice skating. I don't know he seemed kinda nervous. I'm not a touchy feely person either so I did keep my distance a little. I'm gonna leave it for the weekend maybe contact him on Monday to see or whatever.

 

In your other thread, you said he was the one who suggested ice skating in the first place. He only backed out once you actually met up. I think he was looking for an excuse to jet out of there, hence his sudden "nervousness."

[milly007]

I wouldn't text this guy. He's the one that said he had to leave early, so leave it up to him to message you.

[mysty]

In your other thread, you said he was the one who suggested ice skating in the first place. He only backed out once you actually met up. I think he was looking for an excuse to jet out of there, hence his sudden "nervousness."

 

He'd said right away how worried and unsure he was about ice skating as he went rollerblading before and nearly killed himself. He said this when we were planning this as well.

[milly007]

Take the ice skating and how he felt about it out of the picture. The ice skating has nothing to do with him having an excuse and leaving early. He left.

 

It's up to him to message you.

[Kendahke]

I really have no idea, it seemed like he was worried about his friend tbh .

Should I send this message? "I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time if you're not too nervous?" Or just leave it as" I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time" Maybe add in (hope your friend was okay)

 

No. Just let him initiate. It could be construed by him as you pushing.

 

While he may have had an interest at first, the fact that you shot him down a few times may have made him feel that there was someone else you'd rather be with and he was the consolation prize, even if that's not what was happening, he still could have decided in his mind that that was what was going on. So, if he's truly interested let him ask you and you accept on the spot.

[mysty]

(Here's more detail)

 

 

We met at the shopping centre place . He greeted me when he arrived with a handshake. He said he was nervous about ice skating and really worried he was going to break himself up , that he wasn't sure if he wanted to go, we walked over to the ice rink. As we were walking he'd told me he had to see his mate back from Germany after as his girlfriend had just broken up with him so thats where he was gonna go after he'd met up with me and he asked what I was gonna do after. We got to the ice rink we just stood outside watching. He was still uncertain about going and was like maybe we'll just watch people fall , an saw no one was really falling an said no one seems to really be falling. He said he had bad balance , he was worried about going an the last time he went rollerblading when he was young he said he nearly killed himself. I persuaded him in the end to go by like say "aw sure maybe just give it a go you said you wanted to you might regret it if you don't sure if you don't like it we can leave early" an he asked if I wanted to ice skate I said yeah it'd be good and said I was bad to. We walked over to pay but they said the next session wasn't for another 2 hours so we left it he joked about how he was lucky he didn't have to skate that it worked out in his favour joking..

 

We walked around was gonna get food or a drink, we walked around the town a little we couldn't decide what to get and everywhere was busy so we got coffee. We paid for ourselves walked around the town a bit talking and he said we'd walk down the town that his car was parked that way. We spoke a lot he asked me loads of questions I asked him a few. He brought up stuff as well that he didn't need to add , he was engaged in the conversation. Then thats where we kind of ended it , it seemed like neither of us knew what to do.

[mysty]

If I just say this that way I'm leaving it open to him asking me "Hey, even though we didn't get to ice skate, I still enjoyed your company on Saturday.I hope your friend was okay?"

I didn't see him online the site yesterday.

[calichick007]

You're absolutely determined to chase. Go on and text him.

[annie24]

After a sort of lackluster date with a cute guy, i emailed him thanking him for the date and said I hope he found his cat (his cat had run away from home and he was upset about it). I thought that was a nice email, but the guy responded saying he didn't feel any chemistry with me. Ok....

 

Yeah, email/text him ONCE if you want, but don't expect anything. A handshake at the end of the date is not really a good omen.

[Batya33]

With all this time wondering about a guy who did not ask you out for a real first date yet, you are missing opportunities to connect with people who might be interested in dating you. Right now all you know is that he is not. You know that because as of right now there is no date planned. So move on and stop stalking him on line (who cares whether he's been on line or not -all that tells you is that he is not at his computer or if he is not on the site- he could be anywhere in the world including out on a date-just like you should be if possible).

[Silvergalaxy]

He's not interested and the more details you provide the more obvious it becomes. So no, don't text him. But if you need to find out for sure, then by all means go ahead and see what happens.

[j.man]

Even the slowest guys hug. Don't get caught up on kissing a dude on the first date, but know that a handshake is usually a pretty solid indicator of "thanks but no thanks." At least it is for me. I don't kiss on first dates, but if it goes well, I hug. If it doesn't, I handshake. You not being optimistic about his enthusiasm toward you isn't a coincidence. It looks like he put all the signs out there for you not to be.

 

And really, if you think about it, if he's not being good enough company for you to think he's interested in you, how enjoyable could he really be to hang around with? If I had to guess, he's a guy you find physically attractive and for that reason and the fact he's simply already there, you'd like to keep pushing for something you know isn't there.

 

I wouldn't call or text him. Save the effort for someone you know is into you.