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Need some advice about getting back together with my EX! Please Help!


NiceGuy710

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Hello everyone, so my Ex Girlfriend and I broke up this past August after being together and living together for over 2 years. Within the first month I still had feelings for her and missed her greatly and tried to get back together with her using the direct approach but unfortunately she did not want to get back together. So I decided to do No Contact, leave her alone, and give her some space. It's been maybe almost 2 months of no contact, and I still can't stop thinking about her and missing her. I've tried moving on with my life but I still keep thinking about her. I've made a lot of progress with self improvement by going to the gym almost everyday since we broke up but it's not taking my mind off her. I really want to get back together with her but I barely see or talk to her anymore, and if i were to try and reach out to her by texting for example she would most likely not respond back to me. The only way I would be able to talk to her is if she is the one to make contact with me. I really don't know how she feels or if she even misses me but while I was doing no contact she randomly called me and showed up at my apartment saying she wanted to come over and see me. We caught up a bit by talking but it didn't go any further than that. After this instance I tried texting her to see if I could maybe continue talking to her again but unfortunately as I predicted she did not respond back. I really love this girl and miss her truly, I'd do anything to get her back.

Next month i'm going to a friend's Christmas party and found out recently that she will be attending too. Last party we were at together she seemed to be ignoring and avoiding me the best she could. I'm hoping the same will not happen this time. Any advice on how I could win her back would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Sadly there is nothing YOU can do. She has to want it all on her own. You need to accept that it is over and try your best to move on as if she is never coming back. I know full well how hard this is. However, you need to start respecting her wishes and even more importantly, you need to start working on your self-respect. Anyone who ignores you and avoids you should be granted their wish to be left alone. YOU deserve people in your life who want to be with you. Anyone else, nomatter how much you love them, is toxic for you and mirroring their behavior would be best. She knows you want her back. If she ever really wants you back, she will let you know using the direct approach like you did. until then, you need to protect your heart, respect her wish to be apart the best you can and focus on healing yourself. I am very sorry for your loss. Please believe me though when I tell you that the only people who deserve your attention right now are the people who want to be in your life, anyone else is toxic and not worth your pain. There is nothing you can do in your situation but focus solely on YOU and YOUR life. Try to cut off any new information about her. 'No Contact' also means not learning anything new about them because any new information keeps you stuck. It creates the illusion that they are still part of your life when in reality they are moving on, living a life that has nothing to do with you.

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I barely see or talk to her anymore,

 

if i were to try and reach out to her by texting for example she would most likely not respond back to me.

 

The only way I would be able to talk to her is if she is the one to make contact with me.

 

After this instance I tried texting her to see if I could maybe continue talking to her again but unfortunately as I predicted she did not respond back.

 

Last party we were at together she seemed to be ignoring and avoiding me the best she could.

 

 

I really don't know how she feels or if she even misses me

 

I think from the above you do know how she is feeling ... but you hope otherwise.

 

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to win her back. It doesn't work like that. She has her own mind and she will only come back to you if she wants to.

 

It is likely that she turned up at yours because she was missing the companionship and friendship you once shared but it still doesn't mean she wants to be in a relationship with you. It wasn't really fair of her to turn up like that only to then ignore you but ex's have a habit of doing things like that so it is best not to read too much into their actions. Unless they are telling you they want you back and are jumping through hoops to get you back it is best to assume that they are happy in the new life they have chosen. Otherwise they simply wouldn't be there.

 

Three months is still early days (2 months NC is even earlier) so it isn't unusual for you to still feel like this. So far she has shown you that she wants to move on and you have to start accepting that you need to do the same.

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