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Love him dearly, but do not miss him when we're apart


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My boyfriend and I have been dating since May. I am very much in love with him as he is with me. Our relationship is great - we trust each other, we get in fights sometimes but mostly they are civilly resolved (sometimes passionate, which is fine by me , we have incredible sex, and I'm moving into his house in three days.

 

Our relationship has been fairly long distance. I would spend maybe two or three weeks with him on the road, then go back home for a break, then go back on the road with him. I visited his home a month ago for two weeks. The longest we have spent away from each other was a month at most.

 

When we're apart, I don't miss him. I still talk to him, I love him, I like hearing about his day, but I am perfectly fine and independent when he is away. And I don't get annoyed when I'm around him for extended periods of time. This confuses me because in my past relationships I was the opposite of this - I would miss them very much almost to the point of being clingy, and then get annoyed when I was around them. It may just be that I feel secure in the relationship, that I'm maturing, and he is a bit older so he makes me feel more mature, but I am worried because aren't you supposed to miss your partner?

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Congratulations you are a mature woman who can have a life of her own and be happy by yourself with the needing of someone's approval all the time. Don't doubt your feelings for this man and you will find out soon enough if your relationship will stand the test because you guys are moving with each other. It is rough being so close as there is no "break" period but if you want a serious long lasting relationship it's a good step. Wish you the best of luck.

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I know you didn't ask for this advice - but is there a way you can move to be near him but not live WITH him just to make sure you are sure? I mean, 6 months is a little quick to move in with someone, no? Because you mention it is intense - then you go back home for a break. With living near him you could have a little break on most days to see if its what you want. But maybe I'm off base..

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I know you didn't ask for this advice - but is there a way you can move to be near him but not live WITH him just to make sure you are sure? I mean, 6 months is a little quick to move in with someone, no? Because you mention it is intense - then you go back home for a break. With living near him you could have a little break on most days to see if its what you want. But maybe I'm off base..

 

Well I do understand what you're saying, as most of society says to really be with someone for an extended period of time before you commit, but that is really a twentieth century invention, and even then not everyone follows it. For instance, my dad met my mom and two weeks later he proposed. They are still happily married. I think with some people, you just know, like some innate facet in your being is telling you that this is the person you are supposed to be with.

 

Thank you everyone for your advice! It comforted me greatly.

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