faraday Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 I saw a thread about someone seeing their ex was engaged...so I thought I'd look one of mine up...and he got married in July I'm so happy for him, he was such a great guy. We dated for about 6 months....hmmm....4 years ago. He wanted to move in together, he was talking about getting engaged...and I realized...he wasn't my the one...so I let him go. He looks so happy. His wife is stunning. This just...makes me so smiley. Is that normal? lol I feel like...from looking through this site I should be sad or something. It just...gives me hope? Things will be okay. He was pretty sad when we broke up...I was too. I liked the guy...he just drove me kinda crazy Last night Tine and I slept over at Jay's for the second time. It was a nice evening....except she peed in his spare bed o.0 *mortified* She hasn't peed the bed since she was 2. I have no idea what happened....maybe it was unfamiliar so she didn't want to get up? Idk. Jay handled it really well. I got all the sheets washed, and I washed his mattress and put baking soda on it...he's going to vacuum it later. I was so thankful that he was so cool about it. I can only imagine what would have happened with any of my other exes. I ended up not taking her to school today....we went to the zoo and made cookies, and totally had a slacker day. It was awesome. She spends every weekend with her dad...we haven't had a down day in forever. I like my girl Link to comment
hers Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I can't see you on my fit bit stats. But I also can't figure out how it works still haha Link to comment
faraday Posted December 12, 2014 Author Share Posted December 12, 2014 I can't see you on my fit bit stats. But I also can't figure out how it works still haha Do you use the app or the site? Link to comment
faraday Posted December 12, 2014 Author Share Posted December 12, 2014 I just "cheered" you. Maybe now you'll see me. I think I'm getting Jay's cold. I feel like death. Link to comment
hers Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 It worked! I see you now Link to comment
faraday Posted December 12, 2014 Author Share Posted December 12, 2014 Oh good, now you can see how much of a slacker I am I'm just so thankful that people can't see an hourly breakdown. Sometimes...I don't move for 2 hours. It's scary Link to comment
BigKK Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 get garmins so I can have more friend's on garmin jealous of your slacker day with Tine, sounds rather perfect and amazing. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Sounds like a lovely day. Need those days for sure. Link to comment
faraday Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 Yesterday we had one of my couple friends over for brunch, and jays cousin and wife over for dinner. It was a really nice day. Jay and I work really well together...things are just smooth with him. I remember having mats family over one night...and him and I actually ended up getting into a fight and breaking up...because he wasn't helping and things were a disaster. So it was just nice that jay really steps up and helps so much. We were talking about the housing market here...it's crazy expensive and there's just very little vacancy, jay was saying that he wants to buy a place, he has a down payment saved up...which I didn't know...I didn't realize he was that ready...I thought it would take another year or two....but he was telling his cousin he's waiting until we figure out what we're doing. He knows that I won't buy anything with him until we're married. But he knows I want to live with him first....so I'm wondering if he's going to buy a place, and I'll rent out my place and we'll see how it goes. I don't think he has a plan, so I can't ask him. He does keep saying he's looking forward to us getting s place together. I told him I do t want to move until school is done...I don't want Tine to switch schools mid year. Moving will be hard enough on her...she's so quiet...it takes her a while to feel comfortable and come out of her shell. Her girl guides leader was telling me the other day, that Tine is finally coming out and talking and being more part of group activities. It's been a year and a half. It's weird...because she's actually pretty confident. She doesn't seem insecure...she just doesn't talk unless it's necessary. She's finally talking to her new teacher. It's like...she needs to make sure she likes you before she'll bother with you. I'm not sure how that develops. I need to.be around people more than I am...sometimes I realize I haven't talked to anyone but clementine for a few days at a time....probably not great When I ran the Dayhome, I always had clients stopping in for tea or coffee...and I think that was a lot of my social interaction...they were "friends". That's the good part about the weekend. I have some crappy parts Jay found out he's leaving for a week tomorrow. He comes back for about 12 hours, and then he already has his flight home booked for a week. He was so down when he found out he was leaving...we had a whole bunch of plans this week...that aren't going to happen now. I'm not really going to see him until the 29th. At least he'll be home for New Years. So I've been talking to this company about getting a roommate again...and I met with the lady at the beginning of November...and she said she adored me, and that we would move forward and find a roommate for me....I haven't heard a ton from her...I texted her at the end of November, and she said there was a freeze on funding, and they couldn't get anyone in before January...which I said was fine. I'm friends with this lady's daughter in law (who also works for them) and she confirmed this, told me they really liked me, and that they were looking for a placement for me. I've done some respite for them, which went well. On Friday I called the lady I met to find out what was going on...and she kind of brushed me off. I feel a bit panicked now...because the way she was talking to me last month, it was a for sure thing...and now she's making me think I should have been applying for other opportunities. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Since their funding is in trouble, I'd say that you better start looking. It really doesn't matter how much they like you, if the money is not there, there is nothing they can do. I wouldn't take her brushing you off personally. Keep in mind also, that she probably is not the only person who makes decisions, so there is always a possibility her recommendation may get overridden even when/if their budget opens up. Definitely keep looking at other sources. Link to comment
faraday Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 I was talking to the owner of the company....and funding starts again January 1st...they could technically put someone in with me then...but they haven't been introducing me to clients....so a January move in date is now extremely unlikely. And it wasn't just the funding thing...it seemed like the owner was brushing me off...so I don't know...I have a bad feeling about that I am going to look for a new placement though through other agencies. I talked to my mom about everything the other day, and I told her I really need to focus on this show I'm in at the end of March...to give it everything I've got. And I gave them numbers for what I consider a successful show...and they have agreed to fund whatever bills I have until then...so I can focus on the show. If the show doesn't hit my target number, I will consider art to be a hobby, and get a job...but if I hit my target, they need to drop their nagging. I feel like I can hit this number. It's going to take everything I've got though. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
BigKK Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 faraday, are you going to give up on the company, or hope maybe they change their mind? I think it's a good idea going all in, some companies or ideas never got off the ground since people go in 50% due to bills, etc. I think it's a great opportunity that your family is willing to help, even though they nag you about it. Is it mostly due to the traditional argument it's not a stable income, get a 9-5, etc etc? Link to comment
faraday Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 faraday, are you going to give up on the company, or hope maybe they change their mind? I think it's a good idea going all in, some companies or ideas never got off the ground since people go in 50% due to bills, etc. I think it's a great opportunity that your family is willing to help, even though they nag you about it. Is it mostly due to the traditional argument it's not a stable income, get a 9-5, etc etc? My parents don't agree with self employment. They are very much worker bees- they have been at the same company for 30 years. They were dead against when I opened my dayhome. It took me a year to build up a strong client base, and the entire time they were telling me to quit it and get a job. It took a year, but when it took off, I was making great money. When I closed my dayhome, my parents were livid that I was closing it down! They just don't believe in doing something that isn't 100% certain. They also aren't my demographic (they would never buy original art) so they don't understand why anyone else would. They don't understand that it takes years to build a business...not weeks. They don't understand that you have to put money into a business before it will grow...they don't understand that I'm being very calculated with the money I'm investing...I'm not just throwing everything in...I'm determining if the outcome is worth the investment with every dollar I put in so that I can maximize growth and profit. Being self employed is incredibly risky. But if you have a good idea, the right marketing, you have done thorough market research and your idea is feasible...and you work your as* off, it usually works. They keep telling me about how they watch Dragon's Den "and there are people on there that invest half a million dollars into a business, and the Dragons Den people tell them it's a dumb idea and they will fail. So how much are you willing to invest in this? Are you going to destroy yourself for this? How much more time are going to waste?" My response, "I haven't even invested $10,000 into this and I've already got a 1/3 of that back in revenue...and I've only been open 3 months. I don't need to put in any more money for the next few months, as I've paid for future advertising already and I have most of the stock I need. But.. I need to be in business longer than 3 months before I give up." I won't give up my company...I'm just...not telling them that....because they won't help me. They think this show is going to bomb horribly. But it won't. The thing is...Jay and I are talking about moving in together. If he covers half of the bills, I can easily support myself right now with my art. I'm struggling with covering everything...because cost of living here is high. Jay and I also talked this weekend about the future...and he has told me that he's fine with covering more than 50% of the bills, because he knows I'll contribute to the household in other ways. He said he expects to cover almost everything, and that's fine. He cares more about me being happy and doing something I'm passionate about...than how much I make a year. While it's not for sure with Jay...I do have a back up plan if that doesn't work out, if we break up- by then, I'll have a roommate. And that covers more than half my bills. So...either way...I just need a few more months here to figure out what's going to happen. But whether we work out or not...It's going to be fine. My parents just don't see that At least I now have 3 months to focus on my business. *sigh* . Link to comment
faraday Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 It's just frustrating when...my dad tells me to get a job...but then I only qualify for retail making $20 an hour...which I can't survive on...and I would work evenings and weekends...and he's not interested in babysitting. So...his solutions don't work. Being self employed is the only way I will ever get ahead. And he doesn't see that. I need people to say, Faraday, you're doing the right thing. I believe in you. Because...when my dad tells me this will never work...and I should give up...it demotivates me and deflates me. It makes me feel so small, and my idea so big. I love Jay for believing in me. I love the few friends that I have for believing in me. I love my brother, who is booking the week of my show off to help me. My parents have been my closest friends for the last few years. And right now...I can't really talk to them...and I'm sad. I miss them. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Faraday --- you are doing the right thing. And sometimes the right thing isn't easy, or safe. You cannot listen to the naysayers. I once asked my father, who started a company from scratch when he had 3 kids under the age of 13 ---- dad, looking back --- how did you know you would succeed? Statistically speaking ---- it wasn't a given. His answer: I never entertained that I wouldn't succeed. It wasn't an option. You go girl ---- from passion comes success. Link to comment
faraday Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 I like your dad, Mhowe. I completely agree with him- I don't believe that this business will fail, because it's been thought out...and because I know what it takes...but that stresses my dad out even more because "I'm being naive about it." Thank you so much for your words Mhowe... I just need to show him that it will work. One day at a time. Just breathe. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 My dad has had his own business for over 20 years. I asked him too how he managed to do it, with no college experience at that. He said: Because I don't like working under people, and the only way to get what I wanted was to be my own boss. So, with a wife and a newborn, he opened his own business. He's a general contractor. He did all his own work, no workers. And after some time, he was able to hire one person to help. And before long he was building million dollar houses. He's 56 years old and still owns his business. He does exclusive remodels for high-end clients. It can be done. You just have to know you can do it. And you KNOW you can do it, Faraday! You're doing the right thing. You'll kick butt!! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 You'll make it. Believe it and get in touch with your stubborn side. It helps. As for the roommate thing, with the dayhome you were the company dealing directly with the clients who are individuals. Now it's a different dynamic where you are more of a vendor role to another company and they may use you or not. So, you have to get more aggressive and spread your bets, especially when you are low on the totem pole and a newcomer. Go all over, apply to many different places and see what sticks and where you can start going up the totem pole. Ideally, you want to be in a position where you are getting multiple requests you can choose from rather than waiting on one. I know you can do it. All of it. When I hear naysayers, a little fierce voice says "oh yeah, watch me." It's almost like fuel to me. I always look at naysayers as my biggest source of motivation. Sometimes you just need to get a little mad and get a little of that adrenalin rush of yes I dang well can do this and will do this. Go get them! Link to comment
faraday Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thanks for all the support I feel a lot better today. I've been pretty down...I feel like my dad has been taking a bat to me lately....and I know he's only saying "give up" because he's terrified for me...but it's so hard for me to separate that out. If it was anyone else, I'd get mad and show them....but he's my dad...and I always try to make him happy...even though it never seems to work I got a ton of painting done yesterday. I'm excited about these projects Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I'm sorry -- but you gotta put Pop's words out of your head. Or stop talking to him. Hence forth, only cheerleaders will be allowed head space. Go paint. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Perhaps for now share a little less with them and maybe give yourself a little distance and space from them. If they start in on you, try to change topics. If that doesn't work, you are busy and have to run. Give yourself a little breathing room, so you can focus on the projects and what you need to do. You'll make him happy when he sees you happy, successful, and secure. Sooo....go paint and do what you have to do to get to that place. Link to comment
BigKK Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 faraday! Sounds like we have the same if not similar dads! Always a negative nancy, always putting down, but yet we keep trying to make him happy and wanting him to be proud Link to comment
faraday Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 I just got some great news....I'm NEXT on the list for the gallery!!! WOO-HOO!!!! I'll be in there within a month or two. It's terrible timing. Just when I need everything I've got for the show in February- my stuff is leaving to go to a gallery....and I can't even put my best stuff in because I used it to apply to Stampede (and if you use it in your application- it can't be sold before the show in July)...terrible timing...but so awesome. I'm so happy right now. Everything is coming together Need to paint. Stat. Link to comment
happpybear Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Haha, awesome! Get to it! Link to comment
faraday Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 image removed Just finished. Today is good Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
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