Any chance?

[silversoul]

I've been dumped by my boyfriend after an argument over my jealousy. We have been together for a year and it was a first relationship for us. He has completely cut me off, blocked me everywhere. I begged and pleaded on the height of my emotional breakdown but he was extremely cold and distant. He has issues with his mental health (depression and anxiety). About two weeks ago I sent him a heartfelt message saying that we were really close and may be we should stay friends one day. He replied 'it is a no, please stop messaging me, just move on, bye'. After that he bloxked me on facebook.We were so close and now there is not anything. I love him and I want to give him space, and he seems to be enjoying his new life. Am I an idiot to hope that one day he will talk to me and we can at least meet for a.coffee?. it is heartbreaking to think now cause this was my first serious relationship.do you think he will talk to me after a long period of time, a year perhaps?

[Ms Darcy]

I think he has done everything in his power to make it clear to you that the relationship is over. What else does he need to say?

[alohalove18]

I think he is hurt at the moment and being cold and distant towards you is how he is coping. I went through the same thing last year, except I am the one who ended it because I was unhappy. Right after it ended, he blocked me on all social sites, was extremely mean to me when I texted him (and that's IF he would reply).

 

Later on, about 8 months later, we ended up getting back together. So yes I think there is a chance. But remember, the same issues of jealousy are still there and if you two do get back together, you need to make sure it's not going to be a repeat of the exact same thing. You need to take this time apart and work on your jealousy issues and gain some confidence. If it is meant to be, y'all will work out. If not, take this as a learning experience. I know it's hard, trust me, but just keep your chin up. Not all relationships are meant to last.

 

*hugs*

[silversoul]

Thanks for your message *hug*, I find it so hard that we might not hang out together again in this life. I just want to at least know him and be on speaking terms. So did you two get back together after NC and who got in touch first?

[SparklyBoots]

I know it is hard but he really does need space....give it a loooot of time.....I know all your urges now will be to contact him but the best thing to do is to just get on with your life. I also know that at this moment in time this doesn't seem logical but really you need to look after yourself and enjoy life as it is right now. Right now he does not want to communicate...this may or may not change, but it is the reality at this moment in time....it may change or it may not but you have to just keep on keeping on....

[alohalove18]

Don't completely rule out that you two will never hang out or see each other again. There is a lot of anger and hurt right now between y'all so of course he is not going to want to speak to you. But as time passes, wounds heal.

 

 

I ran into him at a concert one night, 7 months after the BU, and he texted me afterwards saying "it was nice seeing you." He started friending me again on all social sites. After that, we had little contact, but I would post more often than I used to on social sites so that he would be reminded on me when he logged on. Since he wasn't making any moves, I went to his house one night and told him I was still in love with him (I have NO idea where this courage came from.) He was shocked. He told me he had to think about it. 3 days later he took me out to dinner and we got back together. We just recently broke up last week, but over something completely different.

[ChellyV]

Well, for right now just quietly move and give him the space he needs. So many times that is the key to a better friendship or relationship.

 

I would encourage you also to just pursue a life of your own, since we really do not know if a further conversation with him will actually occur. If he has depression and anxiety, then let him work through his issues. Then he can be a better person too.

[silversoul]

I know it is hard but he really does need space....give it a loooot of time.....I know all your urges now will be to contact him but the best thing to do is to just get on with your life. I also know that at this moment in time this doesn't seem logical but really you need to look after yourself and enjoy life as it is right now. Right now he does not want to communicate...this may or may not change, but it is the reality at this moment in time....it may change or it may not but you have to just keep on keeping on....

 

I don't have an urge to contact him knowing that at the moment he does not care about me at all and all the hurtful things he said. But I find hard to keep on moving without a hope that one day he may change his mind.I know it sounds selfish, but it seems he is so happy without me and not hurt a tiny bit and has no regrets.

[silversoul]

I think because in your situation, you were the dumper, it was easier for you two to get back together. But I'm dumped and my dumper is stubborn and has no regrets and seems to be better off without me. Sorry to hear you two broke up

[ParisPaulette]

It's possible at some point and time after the hurt fades he'll contact you again. It's also very possible that by that point you will have gotten enough experience under your belt to understand that you actually knew more than you think you do right now AND that you want nothing to do with him. I've had that happen more than once, particulary when I was young and fairly new to the idea that I could demand respect and get it or walk.

 

You say you broke up because of jealousy, but are we talking you having fits if you thought he even looked another girl--or you finding evidence of him cheating on you jealousy and him not liking your calling him on it? There's a pretty big difference and you need to get that clear, so you don't have cheaters taking advantage of you by accusing you of jealousy when really it's you wanting the respect and love that an exclusive relationship is supposed to be about. Just my thoughts. You will heal even though it doesn't feel like it right now, I promise. (Hugs)

[silversoul]

Basically he started talking a to a girl from the US ( we are two in Europe). She was texting him even while we were arguing. I thought it was a bit too much but he got very angry saying that the gender does not matter. Nevermind that she is coming to hang out with him and then she and his some new found friends are going to a festival in another country in Europe and apparently I can't join because they will be clubbing smoking weed and I dont do that

[Teri008]

If he had a problem looking at other girls and left you cuz you couldn't handle it, then he needs to be single. If there was evidence of him cheating, he needs to be single. Now if you THINK he looks at girls when he's just looking around or him watching something on tv and you got mad then ok you got a problem. My dude had a problem LOOKING at females without a question in doubt and then round up leaving marriage. I know men will be men but it comes to RESPECTING THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. He didnt .. Then he left. So what does that tell you? There was no love. (He left for other reasons not because of jealousy issues but still HE LEFT) If that's the case then let the dog go. These men would rather be single so they can mind f*ck anything thats appealing to them even if it means getting laid in reality every few months rather than have a good woman loving them. So let them have make that choice. I know PLENTY of dime females that don't tolerate a man that acts that way and will speak their mind because they know their worth. So if that's the case then let him go so you can find true love because you deserve better. Now if your just jealous over any little thing then FIX that flaw of you so IF he wants to try again you won't mess up relationship or even the next guy you get with. Don't contact him until he contacts you because he sounds really upset right now and contacting him will only upset him more and think low of you. Just take things day by day. You will grow stronger as time goes on. Good luck!

[Teri008]

Ok well there you go. Maybe he had interest in this female and just didnt care about y'all as a couple so that's why instead of him understanding you and assuring you that they are just friends and that he loves YOU and could have even suggest meeting her sometime or letting you join them at the festival he just drops the bomb. It just doesn't look right girlie. Let him walk. Go find a man that loves and respects you 100.

[ParisPaulette]

Nevermind that she is coming to hang out with him and then she and his some new found friends are going to a festival in another country in Europe and apparently I can't join because they will be clubbing smoking weed and I dont do that

 

The guy disrespects you, starts something with another girl and then has the nerve to try and make you feel like it was your fault? Unbelievable.

 

You don't need someone like this in your life, trust me. There are guys out there who won't do this and you don't need to be with the ones who do.There's why he broke up with you, he's just trying to make you feel like the bad guy for protesting the fact that he is going out with another woman. No, if she were just a friend and there were no issue you would have been invited along too regardless of the weed or not or he would have put you in touch with her as well. Besides why does he have to start a long-distance thing with someone from another country? There's really zero reason for that frankly. Being excluded when another female is invited by your SO--that's not jealousy, that's you calling them out on cheating. Whether it's physical yet or not it has all the earmarks of an emotional affair and he very well may have been picking fights just to be able to break up with you before she got there, so he wouldn't have to feel bad at now physically cheating too. It's still a crap thing to do and it's still cheating one way or the other.

 

So now that you know that go full NC and don't respond even if he tries to reach you in the future. I'm sorry this happened to you, but the lesson to learn is that if it's something you wouldn't do to a partner then it's something they shouldn't do with you--i.e. you aren't going out making male friends that you then invite to a concert and tell your BF he can't come to. To that end I suggest you read this article and maybe explore other articles on the website. It's good information and can hopefully give you a bit more insight into good relationships versus bad ones. link removed Good luck and heal and move forward.

 

Also this article may give you some pointers on dealing with the breakup itself: link removed

[silversoul]

The thing is I'm sure he never would cheat he always was super nice to me. Last two weeks before BU we were in a shady territory - he said we are friends because with his depression he can't take responsibility of a relationship, but it was the same we made out, said we love each other. May be he really was trying to be just friends with her. But anyway he cut me out of his life it is shocking to see him move on so quickly. I feel I'm just drowning in this pain. Basically he chose these friends because relationship with me.was.a burden for him and he blamed everything on me. So I'm pretty sure he has convinced himself I'm solely responsible for the break up. I just dont know what to do. He was the nicest person and now this person who doesnt care about me a tiny bit. I can't live with this hurt not knowing if he ever will talk to me again