Jump to content

He texted me a bunch last night and then called me 8 times...


clueless11

Recommended Posts

So, I came home for Thanksgiving, its 4 hours away from my husband at the moment. If you look at my previous posts it will kind of detail whats been going on, but briefly: husband and I have been together a year, got married after 1.5 months, hes military, he wants the divorce.

 

He didnt leave me like I was convinced he would. I don't know if he changed his mind, or was just being overly dramatic. He simply told me he really does want to go through with the divorce, but wants to continue dating me. He thinks we have no business being married at the moment and we have a lot of growing up to do.

 

Last night at 12 am he texted me and said "please text me". I thought I had missed something important because he hasnt been talking to me at all the past like, 2 weeks. I did, and it turned out he had nothing to actually say. I held a convo with him for an hour with him basically just responding with one word answers, but he was still texting me. I was stoked. I warned him I was falling asleep though and if I didnt respond, that was why. Last text occurred at 1 am and I figured he had drank too much and forgotten to answer me, so I turned off my ring, flipped my phone over and passed out.

 

This morning I woke up to 4 texts from 2 am to 3:30 and EIGHT missed calls and one voicemail.

He had said, "I really wanna kid" and then a few question marks and then "really? nothing....."

Then the calls all minutes after each other. and the voicemail saying "I know you saw my first text but youre not even going to respond to it. I love you to death, but if you cant even answer that text. Call me tomorrow"

 

WHAAT?? I didnt see the text! It was an hour later! I dont know if he got drunk time confused and didnt realize he sent it that late or what. Or hes going to wake up all embarrassed that he called me that many times and realizes the error hes made. I have no clue.

 

Ive been going through this emotional torture for a little while now and jeez. I feel like its going to kill me or something.

 

I want a kid LATER. Im scared about having one and he knows that, he flipped at me after a therapy session where I said "I fear having a kid will ruin my life and he doesnt understand that" and he called me super selfish and that I dont care about his happiness. Im open to it! I think about it all the time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He simply told me he really does want to go through with the divorce, but wants to continue dating me. He thinks we have no business being married at the moment and we have a lot of growing up to do.

 

I totally understand why you don't want to have a child with this man after him saying this. Also it sounds more like he's just worried about losing control of you??? I've seen that when someone will call and text obsessively and yet when you reach them they really have nothing to say and answer in monosyllables. It's not that they want to talk, they just want to know that you'll still respond if they yank your chain.

 

Sorry, I'd tell him as long as divorce is on the table a child is definitely off, also you'll have one when you're ready to. It's very easy for someone else to tell a woman what to do with her body, but you seem to understand that having a child isn't like having a puppy. You can't take it back once it's done and yes I'd be more than a little concerned about someone who appears to be emotionally unstable being a father regardless of the circumstances.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I texted him later and asked if he wanted to talk about what happened last night. He said, "Not in the least, im busy, I'll talk to you later."

 

So, I'm trying to understand he's having a hard time. I'm trying to be patient. But O.M.G he's really not making it easy for me. I feel like it's a good sign he reached out in any way to me while he was drunk (true feelings showing?). I'm trying to be calm. Freaking out on him for treating me like garbage, I feel, will not work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why are you still in contact? You married way too fast (yes you are both immature for that reason) its not working so your getting a divorce. You both need to move on. This is not healthy. It sounds like one big dysfunctional mess. I dont know why women marry military guys. There gone half the time so how can you even try to maintain the closeness of a marriagem plus just from the posts ive read-there usually untrustworthy with emotional problems. Anyway i think you need to get him out of your life, heal and move on

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Because we are married. That's why we are still in contact. We are not dating where it would be easier to simply give up, but I'm not one for giving up on the people I love. Yes, it was immature, but I made this bed and I need to sleep in it.

 

His immaturity is really showing through this business, but I don't know. I guess my instincts and gut feeling are telling me to keep trying. That I should understand that he's insanely upset and he doesnt know how to handle himself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Because we are married. That's why we are still in contact. We are not dating where it would be easier to simply give up, but I'm not one for giving up on the people I love. Yes, it was immature, but I made this bed and I need to sleep in it.

 

His immaturity is really showing through this business, but I don't know. I guess my instincts and gut feeling are telling me to keep trying. That I should understand that he's insanely upset and he doesnt know how to handle himself.

 

I'm seeing a whole lot about respect and understanding for his feelings but a whole lot of nothing about yours. His feelings and emotions aren't the only important things in this mess. Yours are equally important and he's showing complete disregard and disrespect for them. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't show any compassion towards the pain you are feeling?

 

I understand that this is your marriage and you don't want to give up on it. On the other hand, he obviously does. His actions are saying that he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want you to move on from him. All these mind games he's playing with you really speaks to him trying to keep you on the line so he can keep reeling you in and throwing you back.

 

You have to decide if this is the type of relationship you want. If it's even worth trying to save.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...