deejay74 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Share Posted December 7, 2013 yesterday and today have been just awful. i didn't go to work yesterday because the meds i'm on made me feel weird and i didn't get any sleep the night before. i can't stop thinking about my ex. i miss her so much. but maybe i am confusing her with just missing being in love and missing the companionship. i don't know anymore. all i know is i want to stop thinking about her and to completely move on. what am i holding on to? clearly she doesn't want to be with me. she didn't love me enough to work things out. she broke up with me 5 times. do i really want to be with someone like that? so why am i having such a hard time letting go of her? she blames me for everything. she said i tried to control her and that i abused her. that's so not true. i never have been told that by any of my exes. if the relationship was so awful, why did she take me back 5 times? why did she sign a lease on this apartment she left me with? i loved her like no one else. i thought she was "the one". she told me thought i was too. i lost my mind after the break up and did some things i regret, but that doesn't make me a bad guy. i was so heartbroken. i am trying to live with the fact that i will never see her again and that we just aren't meant to be together. it's been the hardest thing in my life. i've even survived cancer, but this is harder! i want to force myself to cry and let it all out but it's not working. Link to comment
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