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Leyla

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I have this friend at uni that I really like. Let's call him H. H. and I are close, but not too close. Let's just say we're good friends, but not so much that it would be impossible for us to date. I got to know him about six months ago, but nothing ever really happened between us because I was involved in this complicated situation with another guy (let's call him Y.). H. also had a girlfriend at the time, so I never tried anything. Y. really hurt me, many times, sometimes in H.'s presence, but H. was always there to support me. One time I was crying after a fight with Y., and H. brought me some tissues and stayed with me until I calmed down (I barely knew him at the time). A few months later, after an other fight with Y., he found me crying on a bench and offered me ice-cream to console me. He made it clear to me several times that I should forget Y., and although Y. and him are close friends, he made me understand that Y. is not a good person and certainly not a good person for me. During the summer, whenever it was hot outside, H. would go to the vending machine and buy me a drink. If I got cold, he'd give me his jacket. When I got in trouble with something, he always tried his best to make time to help me. When I went home to my country for two weeks, he kept contact with me and sent me messages almost every day. If I look sad, or troubled, he notices instantly and asks me what's wrong. We've flirted once or twice, but our relationship so far has been strictly friendship-based. He's got the most heart-warming smile I've ever seen in a guy, and I guess that I was so buried in pain over Y. that I never took the chance to look at H. in any other way than friendship.

 

Anyway, today H. told me he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago and that he's now single. Personally, I feel like I've recovered from the roller-coaster of a heartbreak I was on with Y. and that it's time for me to broaden my horizons and look for someone different. I'm starting to wonder if H. couldn't be this person. I wouldn't say I'm particularly attracted to him, and we don't have a lot in common except for our love for animals, but the guys I tend to be attracted to always turn up to be terrible people who drag my heart through the mud. I'd like to try something different, and he seems like a really nice guy.

 

Should I start pursuing him or should I just stay friends with him?

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Your choice... do you want to 'ruin' the friendship you've got now? cause that'll happen IF you go further than this.

Not sure how long you and Y were together or how long you've been apart now?

Sometimes we DO need some real time away from another relationship for a while in order to 'accept & heal' from the last one.

How about H? How long were they together? Maybe HE shld take some down time as well.

 

So- if you're willing to take it further, you may want to make sure you are BOTH not damaged from your previous relationships. That can easily damper a new attempt.

Suggesting caution maybe.. for a bit longer. I understand how thoughtful & kind he's been... BUT...think twice.

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