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Room mate trouble


vix8

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I need to rant, or I'm going to post this on Facebook and regret it!

 

So I live with 2 room mates who are sisters and one is my school friend. I was smoking weed today with my friend in my room, and we were blowing it out the window so it wouldn't smell. I barely smoke weed, maybe once a month in my room. I'm really not just saying that, I'm no where close to being a stoner. Anyways my room mate walks by my room and says "can you not smoke pot inside" in a very annoyed tone and closes her door. I just find it so ignorant of her because of the way she's been disrespecting me in the shared spaces. I just felt like it was a slap in the face because I was doing something she finds annoying once in a blue moon, and she does something I find annoying every single day... which is leaving a pile of dishes in a very limited counter spaced kitchen. I've asked her many times in a nice way if she can't do her dishes, can she at least wipe down the sauce splatters/crumbs all over the surfaces and move her dirty dishes in a neatly stacked pile out of the way. Like seriously, every time I need to cook, I'm cleaning before I can even start because the dishes I need are dirty, or there is an unsanitary mess everywhere. Ew I'm not cooking in someone else's left over food. It's so rude! I feel like she doesn't care how I feel, and is only concerned about her lifestyle and expects me to live it her way. So yeah that's why I smoke pot, because why should I respect how she feels if she can't respect how I feel. Honestly if she tried to clean her mess up more often, I would courteously smoke outside. I'm not a hard a**, I know people slack sometimes, but this is everyday. But you know what, it's winter, and I'm not going to be someone's little b*t ch who just wants her own way. So I'm going to stay in my room, keep warm, and smoke my weed once or twice a month.

 

Oh also she demanded to have the big room (not that I really care), but it was really rude how she didn't even consider talking about it with me and her sister. Also we agreed to split internet 3 ways, and then the day we move in, she decides I have to get my own internet.

 

I feel so back stabbed right now.

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Sounds like you got the right plan. If she wants to be a difficult person it's her problem not yours. You can only control the way you act. I have several family members that are like this. There is no solving things with them, communicating with them, compromising with them, or dealing with them. So rather then have them drag me down, when they are ranting and raving I just tell them "sorry you feel that way" and move on with my life. If your roommate wants to be like that let her be like that. It's your room your rules, just my opinion

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I hear ya. Having roommates sucks. I'm glad I no longer have to do that.

 

Honestly though, weed smoke is pretty icky for those who don't like it. You blowing it out the window probably isn't helping. Get a vaporizer or something if you're going to smoke indoors. It's easier on your lungs and doesn't reek because there's no smoke. Or take it outside completely.

 

As for the dishes, she sounds gross. I would continue to be direct with her and leave notes too in addition to talking with her.

 

Hopefully you can move out soon.

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I see how the dishes and the internet can be annoying, but the attitude of "if she is bad I will be bad too" is not the best in life.

And I agree with the legal/illegal part of the problem. Dirty dishes wont get her to jail)

Get your own set of kitchen supplies, and stop washing her stuff, just move it aside and do your thing with your own pots and skillets.

If it gets to the point of no respect I suggest you just move out, and stop stressing about the whole situation. I had house mates that ate the first food I put in the fridge right after I moved in with them. Haha) And they also used my pots, even though there was like 10 of them, I have no idea why, and they never washed it. But the best part was the fridge full of moldy stuff that was hanging out there for months and nobody bothered to take it out. Gosh, I hated the kitchen it that house, so glad I have my own now!

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I'd tell her: "when you begin paying my third of the rent is the day you can tell me what I can do in my own room; otherwise, get in that kitchen and clean up your mess before it attracts roaches and vermin, nasty cow".

 

Put a towel down on the floor at the door so the draft doesn't carry the smell out into the hallway. Oh, and an oscillating fan to really blow the smoke out the window. Gee, how do I know these things? ;D

 

Then start looking into a new roommate/living situation. I take it the virago is not the one who is your friend?

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My eldest is away at college and has a buddy w/ same issue. Never keeps up with his mess/dishes. So I told my son to just shove them to one side.. or put them out of the way til he DOES them. place on a box on the floor or sumthin?

Other than that, thankfully they have 2 b-rooms and 2 laundry machines- it's 5 guys.

 

Honestly, times will never always be perfect. We have to expect these 'differences' in shared spaces. Do your best to mind your own and all.

If shes so 'crabbed up' maybe she needs some of what you're having? lol j/k

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I agree with getting you own dishes. Heck, keep them in your room of you need to.

 

My opinion is this: Yes, she sounds like an rude person to live with that that can be very frustrating. BUT, to take the "you do THAT so I'm going to do THIS" isn't going to get you anywhere. It will just cause everyone to get more and more frustrated. I suggest having a roommate meeting about setting down some house rule in a constructive way. Even if you don't like each other this will get you what you want faster than being passive-aggressive.

 

Since you have to pay for your own internet (what was her reason for this anyway?) you should get a break on a shared expensive.

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I'd tell her: "when you begin paying my third of the rent is the day you can tell me what I can do in my own room; otherwise, get in that kitchen and clean up your mess before it attracts roaches and vermin, nasty cow".

 

Put a towel down on the floor at the door so the draft doesn't carry the smell out into the hallway. Oh, and an oscillating fan to really blow the smoke out the window. Gee, how do I know these things? ;D

 

Then start looking into a new roommate/living situation. I take it the virago is not the one who is your friend?

 

Lmaoooooo. Thanks for making me laugh I'd never say something that mean to her. And no it's my friend.. her sister was like that too, but she's been doing her dishes since the day I got mad. My friend didn't seem to care.

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So I snapped this morning.. There was no dishes for me to even use.. and I'm a huge breakfast person.. so I knocked on her door and told her to clean them, and she says I will when I wake up (it's almost 1pm). So I said well I can't even cook breakfast because your mess is everywhere, I think we need to talk about the situation. And I apologized for smoking weed in the house and said I won't do it again (she said she's only ever smelt it twice outta the 4 months), but I deal with your dishes everyday and I feel really disrespected that we pay the same rent and I have to clean up after you all the time. And she got her back up and said I was being spiteful by smoking weed just because she wasn't doing the dishes and said we agreed you wouldn't smoke weed in the house. So I explained to her I wasn't being spiteful, I was just living comfortably because it's not fair that you get to live comfortably and make me uncomfortable yet you get mad at me when you are uncomfortable. Anyways she apologized.. we'll see how things work, sigh.

 

So yeah to everyone on this post who said I was smoking weed to get her back.. I wasn't. I just don't think it's fair that I have to sacrifice something in my lifestyle that I barely do for someone who can't respect me. What am I, her mom??? I didn't smoke it on purpose to piss her off, I smoked it because my friend was over, and I wanted to get high. In that moment I just didn't think to care what she thought, because she never thinks about how I feel, so it just didn't phase me and I explained that to her. I don't think I should have to waste money on more dishes and I don't think I should have to shove her dishes to the side when they are piled up in the sink with food and dirty liquid all over them. It's nasty and I don't want to touch it. I don't think I should have to wipe down the counter and stove top either. I can't even put them to the side anyways, because we have barely any counter space. I put them on the floor once, because it was unbearable and she got mad at me saying that roaches were going to come.... -_- Either that was her way of getting her way, or her logic is distorted.

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