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Do I still have a shot?


triton

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So, this girl and I went together to a formal party. We got along really well and things hit off. We didn't really do anything serious just made out the next day. She lives about 2 hours away but I am there every weekend. After she left I texted her and I guess I over did the texting over the next couple days. For the first few days we talked allot but after that she stopped being responsive and after trying for a bit I stopped. One of her friends messaged a friend of mine saying that I need to ease up on the messages. She texted me today, saying that she's going through allot of stresses in her life and its all overwhelming, I hope you can respect my space and I hope we can be friends. She needs to go to counselling about what happened and her feelings. (her ex cheated on her) She says she's confused and needs to figure things out. I have decided to stop messaging her and wait for her to message me. As well I will not be going back to her area for another 2 weeks. I was wondering if there is any chance of getting another shot, or if I wanted to meet her, how to go about it?

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I knows it's hard sometimes when you are feeling that "high" of feeling for someone to ease up on the gas pedal a little, but yeah you need to let up a bit man. I scared a girl off that way when I was younger. Just respect her space, see if she contacts you, if she asks for space just give it to her. As for a shot with her that will take a bit of time. If she is going through some emotional turmoil with an ex or past relationship your best bet is to just be there as a friend and supporter while she's dealing with this stuff. The party you went to and little make out session might have just been a distraction for her. You don't want to end up a rebound so there is still a good chance you can make yourself a good friend now and see where that goes. Just my two cents on it.

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One of her friends messaged a friend of mine saying that I need to ease up on the messages. She texted me today, saying that she's going through allot of stresses in her life and its all overwhelming, I hope you can respect my space and I hope we can be friends.

 

I think no, these are clear indications that she wants space. No sense in trying to force something that isn't there. I'd say just leave her be until she decides to get in contact with you or make an attempt to see you.

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One of her friends messaged a friend of mine saying that I need to ease up on the messages. She texted me today, saying that she's going through allot of stresses in her life and its all overwhelming, I hope you can respect my space and I hope we can be friends.

 

It is a very bad sign that she told her friend about this. Now you probably have a "creepy stalker" reputation. Commit yourself to not initiating contact with her at all. IF she contacts you, reply only once.

 

I think it's over for this one man.

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I hope you can respect my space andI hope we can be friends

 

It is a very bad sign that she told her friend about this. Now you probably have a "creepy stalker" reputation. Commit yourself to not initiating contact with her at all. IF she contacts you, reply only once.

 

I think it's over for this one man.

 

I'm afraid I have to agree with every word here.

 

Note: "I hope we can be friends" means it's over; you should know that. Also: "Please respect my space" means "for god's sake, leave me alone."

 

Lesson learned. Move on. never initiate contact with her again if you wan't to avoid the "creepy guy" reputation. If she initiates contact, that's good, but you have to leave it to her now. Next time, you'll tone it down with a new girl.

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If she needs counseling to get over an ex, she's not there yet, so she's not even relationship material in the first place.

 

This doesn't mean your date was a bad idea, it just means you were prematurely invested in someone who's not ready to be back in the dating market.

 

There are plenty of people who believe that dating is the best way to get over someone--that's their mistake, but it's your job to screen those people out.

 

I'd consider this a 'practice' experience that taught you the value of discretion in your text messages and the need to adopt self control when you want to pursue someone.

 

Head high.

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You offered her a distraction from whatever she is going through - when you became needy, it sapped the attraction and her energy that went along with it. Thats not a distraction anymore, thats a crutch. You are supposed to play the game that everyone on this forum says they dont do, or the game they claim is NOT a game - and thats to create a balance in contact- you need to hit a balance and read her and match her focus and attention.

 

The first girl i dated in my 20s bailed on me when i chased her - even though she was unattractive and didnt leave me alone and chased me everywhere that i had to tell my cousins that she wasnt pretty and that she needs to get off my back- the young me liked the attention, and i soaked her with my neediness that came with my lack of experience that she was immediately turned off and told me the ".. you are a great guy and all that ... but". hard lesson learned.... and i still slip to this day.

 

Leave her be, hope your paths cross in the future. And if you are wondering, 2 weeks wont be enough to erase your behavior in her eyes.

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