This is why I will never consider going back to the one I dated for 6.5 years

[Username86]

I am completely healed and enjoying life and today was a little bump in the road, but has no effect on my psyche. It's been nearly 2 years since we split up. We were together for 6.5 years and there has never been a day since that I don't think about her, not wishing we'd get back together, but you always wonder what they've been up to. Being best friends with my sister and cousin also doesn't help. For nearly 2 years, I completely disappeared, not asking a word about her and would only run into her when my sister was around. I never purposely intended to ever bump into her. In the 2 years since we parted ways, I've ran into her maybe 5 times.

 

When we split up, I got my act together. Bought my dream car, dream job, making great money and back in shape.

 

Today, because of the events going on, the ex showed up to my cousins house and I discovered that she was pregnant with a guy that she'd met and has been seeing for only 4 months, and he's not the type of guy that you'd bring home to mom immediately. It hit me like a ton of bricks, not because I wanted her back, but because it wasn't like her. My family knew and never said a word to me to shield me from getting hurt, thinking it would.

 

She was adamant about marriage first and then kids, and I agreed. I'm a traditional kind of guy and this happened. My family seeing my reaction pulled me aside and tried to console me, as if they thought I was going to get hurt. To be quite honest, it was a relief, because this set the nail in the coffin that I will never go back. Mind you they all tried to talk to me and I have a huge family (my dad is one of 12 siblings and everyone of my cousins is my age). I got words of encouragement from probably 40 people within 2 hours.

 

What makes me feel terrible is not that the fact that she is pregnant and it completely eliminates the chance of us ever reconciling. It is because of the fact that she isn't happy, because of the circumstances and how everything has transpired over this time. She kept her pregnancy a secret to the everyone she knew and only revealed it when she started to show. If you're proud of your pregnancy, you would tell the world and she didn't. Even my sister told me today that she is afraid he will leave her and she will be stuck to take care of their child. If you're proud of your pregnancy, you would tell the world and she didn't. It's as if she knew that she made a mistake and is just weathering the storm.

 

I don't wish anything negative upon her and only want the best for her, but I feel terrible that she feels this way. I will not contact her after all this, so don't worry about that, but from this experience, the best thing to do is just move on.

 

I loved her enough to let her go. The only way you can go is up. Please don't look back on the past. Learn from it and don't make those mistakes again. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

[Rmbrmelover]

Good post my brother. When you give your heart to someone and it doesn't work, time actually can heal a lot of things as long as the relationship wasn't volatile or toxic.in many cases it just doesn't work and you go your separate ways hoping the best for each other. I think it's impossible to not think of. 6.5 years is a long time and is a healthy section of your life spent with this woman. Seeing her regardless of whether you hold feelings for her is going to stir up some emotions. In this case your feeling a bit sad not anymore because things didn't work, but more because this person you cared for is having these problems that you wish she could have gotten over but hasn't. All you can do is send her out your positive energy and hope maybe things will work out for her

[vix8]

This is really deep, nice. Unfortunately you can't do anything to help her feel happy. If she isn't happy, it's because she needs to change that, and she is the only person who can do so.

[Username86]

Time is the best remedy for a long relationship. It makes you see things that you were oblivious to in the midst of the relationship. I spent nearly a quarter of my life with her. I want to sympathize with her, because of her personal situation. And it's difficult when she sees and hears that I am doing great on my own and she hasn't reached that point yet.

 

He also seemed very ignorant of the fact that she was pregnant. Not getting up to let her sit down, having her go get all the food at the dinner table. She even went outside to start her car and it's 35 degrees outside. I want the best for her, and this clearly isn't it.