Tanzi Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Yes, it's a deterrent, in the sense that if a guy has any issues with me having cats, I would not want to date him. LOL! Hu hum ..I have 5!! It wasn't meant to be that way. We took in a pregnant stray and recently took in a stray kitten. They are fastidiously clean animals but I still, however, do all that I can to keep my house clean and smelling nicely. I do worry that potential suitors may think I'm a crazy cat lady but so far they haven't proved to be a problem. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 totally agree with that sentiment I wouldn't be put off someone who had cats (I have a couple myself, so perhaps am crazy cat man), so long as there wasn't overwhelming cat takeover of her life/home I have one, and I'm thinking of getting a second one. I agree with the posters who said it depends on HOW they take care of the pets. Other than actually SEEING my cat, no one can actually *tell* that I have one; I keep the litter box clean, I sweep and vacuum and use lint rollers regularly to keep cat hair at bay, no smells in my house, etc. If I get a second cat, I'll get a second litter box and make sure that I keep up with the cleaning on both. Now, in the case of ND40's ex wife, I'd say yeah, 15 cats is WAYYYYY too many -- at least a dozen too many for my taste -- and would definitely be a factor in ending a relationship. Isn't it funny how there's no such thing as a "crazy dog lady"? I was discussing this with a friend the other day. I have a friend with five dogs (three too many for me -- too much chaos and noise in her house) and no one calls her "crazy." Why is it that only people who have several cats are "crazy"? Seems a bit unfair to me. At the very least, it shows a definite prejudice against cats. If someone doesn't want to date me because I have a couple of cats...eh...he's not worth my time. If a guy won't date me because I have Link to comment
Throwaway999 Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Isn't it funny how there's no such thing as a "crazy dog lady"? I was discussing this with a friend the other day. I have a friend with five dogs (three too many for me -- too much chaos and noise in her house) and no one calls her "crazy." Why is it that only people who have several cats are "crazy"? Seems a bit unfair to me. At the very least, it shows a definite prejudice against cats. I think it's just that the alliteration makes "crazy cat lady" more fun to say, and there was a character on the Simpsons named that (remember, the one with a house full of cats who threw them at people passing by?) so it is just a meme that has entered the popular consciousness. But yeah, I have a friend with 5 dogs and that is definitely too many. She posted a pic on FB of all the dogs on the bed together like it was the cutest thing, but for me it was not appealing. A little crazy, for sure. Link to comment
john45 Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Isn't it funny how there's no such thing as a "crazy dog lady"? I was discussing this with a friend the other day. I have a friend with five dogs (three too many for me -- too much chaos and noise in her house) and no one calls her "crazy." Why is it that only people who have several cats are "crazy"? Seems a bit unfair to me. At the very least, it shows a definite prejudice against cats. My sister used to have 12 dogs... I think she's now down to 9. A slightly crazy dog lady. Doesn't matter... love her to bits just the way she is. Link to comment
happpybear Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Ya I agree with being upfront about the cats because many people do have allergies. My ex BF had two cats, I have a mild cat allergy but I took some antihistamines and brought my own pillowcase with me (all his pillows had cat hair on them) when I spent weekends at his place and I was ok with that. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 3 words. crazy cat lady. lets hope you don't start eating tv dinners and watching wheel of fortune. If she does I want her number...stat... Link to comment
Lonewing Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Yes, it's a deterrent, in the sense that if a guy has any issues with me having cats, I would not want to date him. You mean, If your cat disapproves, he doesn't get to date YOU! Link to comment
jbmd Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 The girl I've been seeing has cats (im not sure how many) and a few dogs. I've always been a more of a dog person myself. The first time I went to her house the cat smell did hit me, but I quickly got over that. I think if you like the person, it shouldn't matter. *She did jokingly call her self a "crazy cat lady", we both laughed. Link to comment
greta96 Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 You mean, If your cat disapproves, he doesn't get to date YOU! That's right! I bring all my men to meet my 2 cats, and if the cats don't purr passionately around them, out go the guys Link to comment
happpybear Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 That's right! I bring all my men to meet my 2 cats, and if the cats don't purr passionately around them, out go the guys ha, I do the same with my dog, if my dog stops bouncing around or doesn't act normal around the guy then forget it. I think animals can sense things we can't. Link to comment
jbmd Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 ha, I do the same with my dog, if my dog stops bouncing around or doesn't act normal around the guy then forget it. I think animals can sense things we can't. Lol, you guys ever seen "There's Something About Mary"? Totally agree though, my dogs knows my personality and I think he knows when somebody 'just doesn't fit'. When she came to my house my dogs came up to her and started wagging Also, I think it's just an animal person thing. We attract each other. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 That's right! I bring all my men to meet my 2 cats, and if the cats don't purr passionately around them, out go the guys ha, I do the same with my dog, if my dog stops bouncing around or doesn't act normal around the guy then forget it. I think animals can sense things we can't. This is not necessarily a good test... animals can exercise caution and jealousy towards someone they perceive as a threat to their "perfect" relationship involving you and just them... First impressions are fickle as well. When we picked up the two cats [7 months old] at the humane society with my Ex, they were most peculiar. At the humane society, the female was lovey dovey and wanted attention, but as soon as we got her home, she darted under a couch and a bed and a closet and refused to come out for nearly three whole days. The male, on the other hand, was really standoffish at the society, but once we got him home, he was friendly and made for pleasant company. Eventually the female followed her brother's lead, by you never would have known based upon the initial impression that it would be the male who'd be more friendly. I shudder to think what would have happened if we only took one of them!! The cutest thing, when it came time we installed a cat door for the sliding glass door. The female got it in about three seconds. The male didn't understand, even as his we showed him how It worked and then his sister showed him a COUPLE times right there with us how to use it. I seem to remember we finally just threw him through it and he eventually got it... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 I think that people who have that test "either my cats react well to him or he's out the door" probably want some kind of "out" to avoid being in a relationship with that person (or perhaps with people in general). It's really nothing to do with cats -people have all sorts of random or arbitrary "tests" if they want to make sure they have an easy out. I completely agree that if a person is mean to an animal where there is no provocation then that says a lot about the person's character. Link to comment
cupcake22 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 Thanks for all the replies. I am always up front about my cats because it may be an issue for some guys. But if they do have a problem, then they aren't for me anyway. I need a fellow animal lover. Link to comment
j.man Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Depends on the guy. When a woman tells me she has a pet (namely cat or dog), immediately in my head I'm thinking, "would I have to share a bed with this thing? If I'm hanging out with her, am I gonna have to deal with it jumping on us and between us? Would she be willing to close the door on it occasionally for the sake of alone time?" Don't get me wrong, I love animals. But the symbiotic relationship some people form with their pets and the inability for many pet-owners to tone that down at least when initially breaking another person in is a turn off for me. But there is no set standard for guys in this case. You'll get people like me, and you'll get some who would be offended if you tried to keep the animal out of the room while you two shared it. The last woman I dated for a decent amount of time actually owned a cat, but she'd take it out of the room, and that was the cue for "okay, it's sexy time." The best you can do is be open right away about it. Good luck. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 It's not about how many pets you have...it's about how much of a life you are letting pets be a substitute for. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 I agree -there is a continuum of what animal lover means. If it means that the animal takes priority over adult time in the way you described I could see that as a deterrent to a fellow animal lover. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Just looking for a guy's opinion on this subject. I'm only 25, but yes I have 3 cats. If someone is deterred because you have three cats, then they aren't a good match. I don't think it's odd or unusual myself. Link to comment
happpybear Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 I think that people who have that test "either my cats react well to him or he's out the door" probably want some kind of "out" to avoid being in a relationship with that person (or perhaps with people in general). It's really nothing to do with cats -people have all sorts of random or arbitrary "tests" if they want to make sure they have an easy out. I completely agree that if a person is mean to an animal where there is no provocation then that says a lot about the person's character. ya I don't agree with ya here sure I think it may be true for some people, but for me it isn't. My dog is ridiculously friendly with just about everyone, so if my dog isn't friendly with a guy I bring home I'm gonna notice, and it will likely be a problem if they never get along or bond in any way. I don't want to date a guy that my dog growls at or won't play with. I have spent my life around animals (dogs, cats, horses) and I firmly believe that they can sense things that maybe we can't. Link to comment
Jericho Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 It depends entirely on the relationship my hypothetical date has with those cats. As Cognitive_Canine so elegantly and succinctly alluded to above, some people (men and women both) seem to use their pets as social and emotional crutches. These crutches are a deterrent to dating; cats are not. Indeed, I adore cats. All else being well, I'd regard three new feline friends as a bonus. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 My ex didn't like cats. As he once put it "I don't see the point in them". We met when my cats were still kittens (apart from the mother of course) and he fell in love with each and every one of them. He would often turn up with fresh fish and treats for them. In fact they got far more attention and treats than I did! Cats pretty much look after themselves and aren't really a nuisance. Cat hair can be a pain, especially if anyone has allergies (as my daughter's boyfriend does) but as long as you keep the areas clean then there still doesn't have to be a problem. We have now gained another one in the form of a stray kitten. He is adorable but he has taken to peeing behind the TV. Luckily we have wooden floors but I still make it my mission to clean the area correctly so as to make sure there are no lingering nasty smells. I am hoping he is going to grow out of it soon. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 ya I don't agree with ya here sure I think it may be true for some people, but for me it isn't. My dog is ridiculously friendly with just about everyone, so if my dog isn't friendly with a guy I bring home I'm gonna notice, and it will likely be a problem if they never get along or bond in any way. I don't want to date a guy that my dog growls at or won't play with. I have spent my life around animals (dogs, cats, horses) and I firmly believe that they can sense things that maybe we can't. That might be true of certain animals - I'm sure there are exceptions. It reminds me, however, of the number of times a dog owner has said very very insistently that their dog is friendly and would never do ___ but as soon as my child and I try to pass by the enthusiastic dog (and no, my child does not engage the dog whatsoever, nor do I) my child gets lunged at aggressively or some other aggressive behavior. When I was bitten by my then boyfriend's mother's dog I had walked by the dog countless times and on that particular day as I walked by he decided to lunge out at me and bite me through my clothing (drew blood). There was nothing to sense - I'm talking about random acts. Obviously certain humans act like that too. Again perhaps your pet has that sense you are referring to -I obviously wouldn't know but I agree far more with the opinion that certain people use their animals as an excuse to avoid interacting with human beings. I've certainly experienced that far more. As I wrote above, I love cats and hope to have one someday again -I had one for 15 years or more, growing up. Link to comment
greta96 Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 I think that people who have that test "either my c ats react well to him or he's out the door" probably want some kind of "out" to avoid being in a relationship with that person (or perhaps with people in general). It's really nothing to do with cats -people have all sorts of random or arbitrary "tests" if they want to make sure they have an easy out. I completely agree that if a person is mean to an animal where there is no provocation then that says a lot about the person's character. Batya, actually I was just being cheeky in my post, in response to lonewing's statement. I guess I should have ended my sentence with a instead of a My cats run and hide as soon as they see a stranger, so it would be impossible to gauge anything based on their reactions, LOL. But if a guy was mean to them or about them, I would definitely show him the door, because I love cats and intend to always have them, so we wouldn't be a good match. Link to comment
Mesemene Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 Blue - try putting a cut down shoebox with litter in it in his preferred spot and gradually move it away from the "spot." Move it in the general direction of the litter box and he should start using the main box a bit at a time. I've noticed some feral/strays are leery of using a box initially that's not in a really small and tight space and they have to get out of the habit of needing to feel protected all around to pee. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 Blue - try putting a cut down shoebox with litter in it in his preferred spot and gradually move it away from the "spot." Move it in the general direction of the litter box and he should start using the main box a bit at a time. I've noticed some feral/strays are leery of using a box initially that's not in a really small and tight space and they have to get out of the habit of needing to feel protected all around to pee. Hi Mesemene. Thank you for the tip. I will definitely give it a go. He generally doesn't mind using the litter box but there is this one spot behind the TV in the study ….. If the door is left open he shoots in there and pees! If we keep the door closed he is happy using his litter box. I will still try your method though. Maybe I can stop being so diligent when it comes to keeping the door closed then. Thank you Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.