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Feel so lonely/missing her


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Well it's thanksgiving and i can't believe how fast this year has gone by...my and i have been broke up since April, and have talked on and off since then, even met up once, and its been about 2 weeks since we last talked, but i just feel so alone and missing her with her not being a vital part of my life anymore...last year around this time was great for us, give or take a few rough patches...and the times we talk off and on i pretty much try and tell her we should try again, and though she misses me too and what we had, shes seems pretty set on trying to move on this time (this is actually our 4th break up) i thought this break up would be like the last 3 where we weren't apart for too long and she was the one to do the initiating of contact and everything else, but i guess i was wrong...its me initiating everytime we talk, even though she likes hearing from me still and she still has my number saved on her phone...just right now, tonight in particular, even though i just had a nice dinner with my family, i just wish she were still in my life, and i don't mean as just friends...i can't keep initiating contact with her and chasing after her, no matter how much i really want to talk to and hear from her...i just don't know what to do, cause my hope in things seem to be dying done the more time goes on!

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It's very normal to feel a little blue around the holidays after a break up. Spending time with family and friends helps greatly.

My advice to you would be to stop contacting her. Especially since it doesn't make you feel any better and she is not giving you any positive hope that the two of you will reconcile. Or you can continue to contact her, fill yourself with false hope and never move on with your life or give yourself a chance to meet someone else.

Everyone has their breaking point. Even though you have broken up numerous times in the past and have gotten back together all those times, it seems she has reached the point where she doesn't want to do that anymore. You should be sick of it too.

The only way you can move forward with your life is to go complete no contact with her. She will probably contact you again eventually, but you have said yourself you do not want just friendship with her so what would be the point to even talk?

Make that tough decision and stick to it.

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well i have decided since the last time we talked a few weeks ago that i am no longer initiating contact with her or anything like that, if she wants to talk to me, about anything at anytime, its her turn to initiate...she has my number, at least i think she does still...she even admitted to me she said it would suck losing me completely, whatever that means, if she were to delete it, so she knows how to use my number if she wants to reach out...

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well i have decided since the last time we talked a few weeks ago that i am no longer initiating contact with her or anything like that, if she wants to talk to me, about anything at anytime, its her turn to initiate...she has my number, at least i think she does still...she even admitted to me she said it would suck losing me completely, whatever that means, if she were to delete it, so she knows how to use my number if she wants to reach out...

 

It means she's been USING YOU to wean herself off this relationship..... and you've been helping her by being there as her safety net all these months while she gradually moved on.

 

It means she's happy and relieved to have you there as a relationship substitute because she hasn't found her new boyfriend yet!

 

When she finally notices you stopped chasing, she'll probably contact you just to make sure you're still around as her Plan B backup option.... do you REALLY want to be just hoping and waiting for that to happen?

 

Go NC for YOU, so you can heal and find someone who DOES want to be with you!

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i don' think shes using me, i think she just flat out hasn't 100% moved on yet...i feel like it'd be more like using me if she were initiating contact and everything else...hell she keeps stressing for us to move on everytime we talk and that she doesn't want to try again, despite how much she misses me and everything!

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i don' think shes using me, i think she just flat out hasn't 100% moved on yet...i feel like it'd be more like using me if she were initiating contact and everything else...hell she keeps stressing for us to move on everytime we talk and that she doesn't want to try again, despite how much she misses me and everything!

 

What's your point -- other than trying to keep her up on that pedestal you've got her on?

 

She "doesn't want to lose you completely" because you soften the blow. You make it easier for her to move on. Whether she's initiating contact or not.... she knows you're always right there as backup.

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