She lost all feelings for me :(

[Diablo7000]

So me and this girl had been dateing a little over ten months, her mom and her were living with her stepdad in South Carolina and some stuff happened between the dad and mom so they split up, her mom moved in with a new bf in Virginia this my ex had no where to go so I offered for her to move to georgia with me and get an apartment. It turned out we were not able to do so cause neither of us made a good income so my parents offered us to move in with them for a while, well she said since about the time she moved in she's been falling out of love with me and it finally hit rock bottom for her last Thursday.. The reasons she left was because I made some stupid mistakes and promised I would not do them anymore (drink and drive, and an illegal thing we won't mention) both of which I broke the promis I said I would stop doing and still proceeded to do so. I was heavily intoxicated while I made the promises so I didn't remember making the promises later which lead to me doing those things again...

 

Well she's decided to leave and get a second job and get an apartment cause she has lost all feelings for me she said she feels empty and numb.. I've made my apologies but I think that she's at the point she just can't trust me anymore and wants out she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship for a while cause she said she's so unhappy... I've tried to tell her there's ways we can work this out but she continues to say she won't forgive me and she doesn't have any love for me anymore.. I realize that I have a bit of a weekend drinking problem which I plan to just stop drinking period.. I've let it ruin this relationship and one before and I'm tired of it... I just wish there was a way we could work it out cause I love this girl but she don't love me anymore... The sad thing is she still living at my house til she finds another job and a place of her own, I don't have a problem with that cause she don't make much right now and I'm not gunna be mean to her and force her out.. Oddly enough as it is though, she won't go sleep on the couch in the other room or even stay at a friend from works house she's STILL sleeping in the same bed with me... Now however te room with the couch in it gets extremely cold in the winter so I offered last night for her to sleep in here with me but five nights before hand she did it on her own will... Idk I guess I'm basically venting maybe somebody has some answers on what things I could do or should do thanks

[jjkk]

1. Is there somewhere else she can go? A friends? Anywhere? If she has other options I'd let her know she needs to take them. Having her stay there (especially the same bed) will keep you in pain.

2. Get some help for your drinking. If you're driving drunk and it's destroyed 2 relationships you have a problem. Try some AA meetings or something.

 

She has told you her feelings are gone and it's painful for you but there's nothing you can do to change that. You can focus on you and moving past this. Best of luck.

[Twidom]

If she said the love is gone...is gone. Sorry buddy. You have to move on. There is nothing you can do unfortunately.

[SooSad33]

Seriously? You do NOT remember 'promising' her to quit your drinking.. because you were 'sooo drunk'? Wow...

But I'm sure she has 'reminded' you of this a number of times.. no?

 

Anyways.... What I suggest, is you take some time on YOUR OWN. Work on doing this 'quitting' thing and When or IF you do stop drinking for at least 3 months- at least in a large amount, maybe then, you can turn to her and say.. 'Baby, I haven't had anything to drink for 2 months now'.

Or.. 'Sweety, I have only had 2 drinks in the last 3 months'. I am trying to quit now, for BOTH of us. Would it be possible for you to think again of walking away from me- for good?'

 

This will be imedietly. And SHE should be looking to move out for now, elsewhere for a good while.

So you two can 'try' and work these problems out.

DRINKING can and does ruin an awful lot of relationships- as well, your liver and your health. So, why don't you look at the whole thing seriously now?

If you can't or won't 'quit' this drinking too much for her, at least do it for YOU.

 

gd luck

[Ms Darcy]

The reasons she left was because I made some stupid mistakes and promised I would not do them anymore (drink and drive, and an illegal thing we won't mention) both of which I broke the promis I said I would stop doing and still proceeded to do so. I was heavily intoxicated while I made the promises so I didn't remember making the promises later which lead to me doing those things again...

 

Well, she did the right thing. Any woman would leave you for this. And if this is the second relationship ruined because of your drinking, maybe you should seek out AA.

 

I would advise you to ask her to sleep on the couch. It is not fair to you to be sleeping in the same bed. She can deal.