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Letter to my ex. I would love some help!


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Hey everyone! So I’ve posted a few threads in the past about this relationship and I would like to just run something by everyone. I apologize if this post becomes lengthy; I just want to get everything off my chest.

I dated a girl for just over eight months. Back in June, I took her home with me for a family wedding and I figured it would be a great opportunity for her to meet my very large extended family. While home, I discovered a group of facebook messages between her and another guy. They were sexually explicit, to say the least. I was crushed and yes, I consider that a form of infidelity. A week after the wedding, we’re back home and she tells me that I need to get over it. At that point, I ended things. The month following the breakup was rough. I’m in law enforcement and one day she texted me a message saying that she hopes I get shot while working. The next day, I receive another text with a picture of letters and pictures of us, torn into pieces. A week later, I’m over my partner’s apartment, watching a game. She lived in the same complex and when she saw my vehicle, she called my own department on me, stating that I was stalking her. Absolute fallacy! After that incident, I didn’t hear from her in just under a month. One night, while checking emails, I come accross an email that she just sent me. In the email, she tells me that she’s moving to a new apartment in a few days and she can’t take her dog with her (actually our dog, I helped raise the pup, she ended up keeping her). She proceeds to tell me that she is sorry for all of the heartache and wants to know if I could watch her just for a week. Well, being the heartbroken sucker that I was, I agreed. She brings the dog over the next day and gives me a big sob story about how she sorry and that she wants to be with me and work on things. So a week turned into three months of me watching the dog. During those three months, she rarely visited her dog, never spent money on food for her, and rarely called me. However, when we did talk, she would always feed me lines about how she loved me more than anything, I was it for her, wanted to be with me- just couldn’t be with me right now. About two weeks ago, I was fed up with keeping the fact that we were talking again, a secret. So I told her best friends/roommates that we were talking again. I get a nasty reply back from the friends and from her. She proceeds to tell me that she never wants to speak to me again. The next day, while I was out, she stopped by and took the dog and hasn’t uttered a word to me since.

It was a rough relationship. I was under the pressures of being a rookie cop and dealing with this relationship. But I always gave 1000% to her, every day! In return, she would constantly lie to me, manipulate me, and just treat me like dirt. She valued her friends’ opinions about our relationship over my own and allowed them to get involved with our relationship. Also a few nights ago, I get a call from a complete stranger. This person tells me that they found a picture of me in uniform with a note on the back and my phone number- on their vehicle. I went and picked up the picture and it was torn in half. Who do you think was on the other side of that picture? Completely immature!

Look, I’m a young guy who fell in love with someone who honestly, did not love him back. I realize I may sound like a pushover and a sucker. And that’s fine. But heartache still hurts, especially when you made your significant other the center of your world.

So my question to y’all is this… Is acceptable for me to write a letter or send an email where I just basically say what I need to say? I’m angry, I’m hurt, but I also understand that the relationship was not good. I just need closure!

I understand this post is lengthy. If you guys take the time to read it, could you please offer any insight and/or advice? And please, be as honest as possible. I would just love some answers and feedback. Thanks everyone!

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I would say to just don't contact her anymore.. Just delete her from your life.. You don't need to write a letter because she is not going to care.. You don't need to seek closure from her because 1) she wouldn't give it to you anyways and 2) closure comes from within. Stop making an excuse to reach out to someone who has treated you like crap..

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No....it isn't the right thing to do. Write it to get it out of your system. The woman is a sack job and she will find a way to use it against you...like showing it to your boss to prove the stalking claim. Be happy she is gone and don't take her back again.

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my impression from what you wrote is.... this is now a complicate situation


if you feel the need to write a letter... write it. I'm not sure that sharing it with this lady would be wise or helpful to you, so perhaps just keep it, or burn it after you've written it.


It does seem as if there is stuff you need to talk about, discuss and find a way of dealing with/accepting.


I don't think it is safe or wise for you to try to engage your ex in this dialog. If she is not going to be supportive of you, but perhaps use anything you say against you.... don't go there. You haven't committed any crimes so you don't need to be disclose what's on your mind to anyone and everyone.


How would you feel about seeing a good counsellor? someone "safe", who you could talk to about anything around this situation and try to help work things out for you.


I think the main thing I wanted to say is good luck and to send best wishes to you. this can't be an easy situation at all to deal with.

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SHE has been nasty to you! Her anger & games.

Say NO more to her.. walk away with some dignity. No one needs to be treated that way! What did YOU ever do?

She lashed out cause SHE got caught and went on to play more games.


How about YOU read what you wrote- and think of, WHY you'd want to say ANYTHING to her anymore?


Leave all alone now and work on the 'loss' dealing with your emotions and belittling crap she tossed you.

Work on healing and moving on. Best for you...

No contact.. No replies.. Nothing- it's done. Go ahead write that letter BUT do not send. (when you're over her, burn it).



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