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Traumatic Breakup


Ljc1990

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Let me start this by saying me and my boyfriend had no problems before this. We've been together two years, lived together and were basically best friends. About three weeks ago we went out with a bunch of friends. I barely ever drink but we decided to get some scorpion bowls and mixed drinks. Before I knew it I was not feeling myself and wanted to go home. But he wanted to stay so I put up with it. My phone died and I asked if I could use his and he flipped out saying I don't need to be on the phone because we're out with friends. I didn't like being yelled at infront of everyone so I walked home from the bar alone. When I got back to the house I waited for a phone call from him, nothing. Then I was full of rage. How could he just let me leave? So I went back to the bar and started yelling at him for letting me leave. He was drunk at this point. He held me back and I walked outside. He ran after me and started screaming calling me the c word. He was in my face so I threw my keys. Didn't have any specific aim just threw them. He told me he wished he could hurt me if he didn't have to go to prison for it. They hit his cheek and he ran inside and told me to never talk to him again.

 

I went back to our apartment in tears and couldn't believe what just happened. Thirty minutes later he walks in screaming at me to get out. I was drunk and trying to sleep so I tried calming him down and said I would leave in the morning. He slept in our bed with me and I figured things were fine. Next morning he told me to pack my stuff so I did. We were over. Next thing I know I'm getting a call from the police saying I domestically abused him but he wasn't pressing any charges? We're not in contact at the moment because we're both in shock.

 

Was throwing my keys domestic abuse? I didn't try to hit him. He was in my face and I was scared. He has anger issues so I automatically protect myself if he's in my face. I feel like I'm the horrible person in this but I feel like he's at fault too..

 

Opinions?

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You both are at fault.

 

Yes. Throwing the keys was assault, plus the public nuisance of you being drunk and storming back into the restaurant to restart the conflict. They'll probably talk to the restaurant workers to find out what happened. Doesn't matter that you didn't try to hit him. Drunk people who drive don't mean to hit and kill those they do, but that doesn't change the fact that they decided to take that action and have to take responsibility for it. All actions have consequences. If what he was doing was that scary, you could have called the police from the restaurant--they'd have let you use their phone to do that.

 

You have anger issues, too. You put in a performance yourself. No reason why you just couldn't have stayed at the apartment if you were so sick that you had to leave. Sure he should have walked you home and made sure you got there and no, he should not have yelled at you in the restaurant, but you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. You, however, decided to show him a thing or two by going back and instigating trouble.. well, you got exactly what you went back for, except now, it has gotten beyond your control to the point where now, the police have been called into this.

 

I think that your relationship is done.

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You could have taken him aside and said that wasn't cool to speak to you that way. Instead you turned on your heel, walked home, then got angry because he didn't stop you or come after you. So you go back, instigate the very situation that you just got angry at him for. Then he starting to call you names, you threw your keys at him, both of you acted like drunken fools, honestly.

 

In the beginning you said you have had no problems and things have been great for 2 years, but then you say he has anger issues so you go into defensive mode when he's in your face - Which is it? If the latter is true then you had already had a problem on your hands prior to this.

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If you are scared of someone, you walk away. You said he has anger issues and you feel the need to protect yourself when he gets like this so this has likely already happened more than once therefore indicating that things weren't really fine for two years.

 

No it wasn't right to throw the keys because it really looks like you did it in anger. You two are probably better off without each other.

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