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Hate that i'm not in their life now!


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Going through this fall season this year and not having my ex in my life and being a part of hers just sucks right now because last year around this time was great for us! we had an awesome fall together last year! It just sucks not really knowing much about whats going on in her life at the moment without me even though last time we talked was only a few weeks ago, and her life mostly consists of working full time at a rental car center, doing martial arts classes, but also seems like on most nights she stays in at home and watches tv/movies by herself (which i see from her twitter) when we were together her and i would go to the movies and/or stay in and watch dvds/tv shows all the time...i know she does miss me like i miss her cause shes even admitted it, but shes also pretty set on trying to move on still...i guess it's good to know there is no other guy in the picture and probably won't be anytime soon, but i just wish we were apart of each others lives still and not as just friends...i miss talking to her everyday and she said she does too, just keeping up with and being such important, vital parts of each others lives...i just feel like that shouldn't be over...though i am doing alittle better than earlier on during the 7 months we've been apart...i just feel like the most or one of the most important pieces of my life is missing, and it's her!

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Maybe you should express yourself again to her if y'all still talk on friendly basis . Now if she still says no then maybe it's for the best for both of y'all to jus go with no contact so y'all can heal properly . At first it will be hard but in time it will get easier and easier. And if it was meant to be again then y'all will try it again sometime in future . Good luck!

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I've convinced her a bunch of times for us to try again, but she's still set on moving on this time around, we've actually broken up a few times , with her being the dumper each time... It seems like she breaks up whenever there is something negative she doesn't want to deal with and I always want to stick around and fix it together , yet she still misses me and has saved my number, but has deleted me off Facebook (even though she still has photos of me /us up in her page and even commented on one or them the other day randomly ) what I know is I can't wait around anymore or chase after her anymore!

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I've convinced her a bunch of times for us to try again, but she's still set on moving on this time around, we've actually broken up a few times , with her being the dumper each time... It seems like she breaks up whenever there is something negative she doesn't want to deal with and I always want to stick around and fix it together , yet she still misses me and has saved my number, but has deleted me off Facebook (even though she still has photos of me /us up in her page and even commented on one or them the other day randomly ) what I know is I can't wait around anymore or chase after her anymore!

 

The first part is probably why you're caught in this loop.

 

If you have to convince someone to try, it's at least partly out of guilt. And guilt isn't something that makes anyone feel good about themselves, and eventually breeds resentment.

 

Walk away, give her the space to actually breathe and think, and give yourself the space to heal and be able to make choices that aren't based on desperation more than desire. Respect her wishes - and get a healthier chunk of self-respect back in the process. You'll be ok - and it's not like she can't find you if she really wants to talk.

 

I do caution - don't do the whole "we can still be friends" thing while you still have feelings for her. Not only does it rub you raw, it gives her you to support her through the breakup and you basically end up helping her get over you.

 

Take care.

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What is it that she feels she's not getting from you that is causing her to end it?

 

I would agree with Mesemene--if you have to continually run after her to convince her, then perhaps its' just time for you to catch a clue and leave her be. And by that, I mean going NC--no being friends, no taking her calls. Put her on block on every communication--cell phone, text (Privacy Star is a good app for blocking calls and texts), Facebook, Twitter, Instagram--everything. She has to be locked out with no access for her to figure out exactly what she wants. If she wants you badly enough, she will come to you and ask you to forgive her and take her back. You would then have to ask her if she has resolved all the issues that drove her away in the first place and if she hasn't, I would not accept her back. It's no good if all she is is lonely and wants company. She has to want to put her neck in the yoke of obligation and pull for a relationship to work.

 

In the meantime, work on yourself so you can open yourself up to a new woman who wants to be with you and won't be going through breaking up with you constantly.

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1. STOP following her on Twitter! That's breaking No Contact and not doing you any favors.

 

2. The only reason she doesn't have a new boyfriend right now is that she hasn't met him yet. It's not because of unresolved feelings for you and it's not because she's not ready to move on. She was most likely ready the day she ended it with you.

 

3. She misses you *as a friend* and loves you *as a person*.... but the romantic feelings for you are gone.

 

If you had stuck to NC for the past 7 months, you'd be much farther along in your healing! It's never too late.

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