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Ugh! I just Facebook stalked and now I feel awful !


J86

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So I was doing okay for a couple of days then I did the ultimate I facebook stalke him with the new love of his life ! I have a question though does or could gigs happen after a 3-4month relationship I just don't feel like we had nothing at all there was something there I honestly believe if distance wasnt a factor things could have worked out????? I feel hopeless all over again god I want him to realize we could of had a great thing I feel like I'm never going to feel that way about anyone ever again...

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Please block him on facebook. BLOCK HIM. This way you can't see anything related to him. Pictures tagged with him will vanish. Comments and things he liked will also vanish. Don't do this again...I know it's hard, I stalked my ex for a week on facebook and it destroyed my heart even though she was not doing anything with anyone.

 

For your own sake, block him.

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Please block him on facebook. BLOCK HIM. This way you can't see anything related to him. Pictures tagged with him will vanish. Comments and things he liked will also vanish. Don't do this again...I know it's hard, I stalked my ex for a week on facebook and it destroyed my heart even though she was not doing anything with anyone.

 

For your own sake, block him.

 

Excellent advice. Nothing more needs to be said. Facebook is the WORST when trying to heal from a breakup. Take this advice and block him completely. If not it will control you and make you feel absolutely awful and helpless.

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Curiosity killed the cat. Why we insist on putting more hurt upon ourselves I will never understand, but you are not the first person to do that and you definitely will not be the last. But you really need to start trying a little harder to let this man go. He has moved on, it is painful for you but trying to figure out if there was something you could've done differently is not going to change the situation and it is not going to help you recover.

I do believe that even short term relationships can be intense and I will not diminish what you are feeling or treat your feelings any differently than someone who has had their heart broken after being with someone long term.

A broken heart is tough, but it can be fixed. Time is your friend and NC is the only way you can move on. In your case, the NC should include not checking his status on facebook. You don't have his friendship anymore so delete him as a friend. Friends don't bring you heartache they bring you joy. Instead of concentrating on what he is doing with his life, check out your true friends and touch base with them and reconnect.

And as far as 'not feeling that way about anyone again', if you mean being in love like that again, of course you will. But the next time find someone closer. When a relationship breaks up you must use that as a learning tool. Don't carry into a new relationship the same problems you had in an old one.

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I agree with this. Consider it a tough lesson. The more you know about an ex, the more hurt you will be. Just image him bummed and wishing he wasn't so stupid. Haha. If you never hear or see any different, then this is how he is

 

Seriously, I know how you feel. I am nursing a broken heart of my own and it's a total roller coaster. When you get urges to check him out or whatever, just try to ride that wave of emotion until it passes--- do nothing that you haven't considered for a long time, like weeks. Because you will change your mind and you will get stronger.

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I hate to admit it, but today I looked at my ex's facebook page too. I broke up with him a couple days ago after discovering he'd spent the weekend with his ex-girlfriend, but just because I was the dumper doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and I don't miss him. I saw he'd removed my pictures, but not pictures I'd taken of him or places we'd been together. All this did was give me hope he still cares and misses me too, not to mention putting me in a sad and regretful mood. I started wondering if I should have given him a chance to explain, should I have done this or said that different, and so on. The fact is nothing can justify the betrayal, there is no excuse, I made the right choice and have to push myself to keep focusing on myself. I also remind myself the relationship did not end for just that one incident, there was much wrong and many things I was not getting that I needed. Focusing on the issues that ended the relationship rather than the good times and things you liked about the person also helps. Don't stalk his page! If I had seen pictures of him with the ex-girlfriend and gotten confirmation they were back together it would have killed me! It's over, I, and you, don't need to know what they are doing or who they are with.

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I did this earlier and it hurts like crazy.to see him moving on. Facebook is not a representation of what is going on in their mind and I know I only make myself feel bad when I look him up. But lately I've done it only once per day. Should I just go cold turkey now?

The short answer is YES.

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Knowing or hearing about what your ex is doing rarely proves beneficial. Throughout my marriage my now ex husband and I had many separations. At first, people would constantly fill me in on his comings (no pun intended) and goings. I listened at first, out of morbid curiosity I suppose, but after awhile, when realizing that hearing about what he was doing was giving me nothing but more grief, I politely told anyone who would bring his name up that I didn't want to hear it. It made life much easier for me.

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