I want to things out. Is there even a chance now you think?

[rls0505]

Sorry I posted a thread about this already. But I cannot figure out how to delete, so if someone can enlighten me I will. This explains my situation more clearly. Thanks

 

- we met 1 yr 6 months ago and started going out soon after

 

- I was prob at the best place in my life I had been before. I just started taking medicine for ADHD and was working full time, living on my own etc

 

- she was a little older and had her own place, job etc

 

- we got a long great. I mean we laughed all the time and truly loved one another. I haven't laughed since I last saw her

 

- around last january things started going bad for me and I stopped taking my medicine and was in a really bad place. Couldn't find work, etc

 

- she was really depressed too with her work and we came up with this idea to move away for 6 months

 

- I just could not pull myself together and was lying about my $ i was saving for the trip etc and everything snowballed. I really though i could work it out on my own and was not beinh honest with her.

 

- end of last month she found out and i moved out of her place and she left on the trip

 

- then she emailed me and told me she loved me and that she didn't blame me etc, that she missed me I was her best friend and that when she came back maybe we would be stronger than ever. this letter really gave me hope.

 

- so I wrote back telling her about all the things I was doing to get right in life and be the man i needed to be for myself and her and i thought she would want to her about the changes and see I was srs.

 

- but then she got mad sort of and said she still wanted to know why I lied etc and I wrote her a long letter being totally honest and trying to show her I was truly sorry for my actions and showing her why I did it and answering her questions.

 

- then she just got more mad and said some hateful things and I wrote her back saying how I felt. I knew though that it wouldn't help to keep writing at that point unless I actually owed up to my actions.

 

since then I have gotten a new job i start soon, on my medicine, not lying etc. But I have been so sad and she kept telling me we would but we never have ha a real conversation. So I made the mistake of sending her a few big emails basically saying how much I love her and how truly sorry I am an trying to explain I am working to change and I just wish her and I could communicate. She emailed me a few days ago and said

 

"I don't owe you anything because you lied and I am still mad about that. But I will talk I jus't can't yet"

 

So what do you guys think? I love her so much and since that email I have given her space and not said anything. But how long will this go on? And if she wanted to end it wouldn't she just say so? Or could she be just messing with me and going to make me wait aroun forever and then say oh you know I don't want to get back? Or could it be by saying she is mad and needs some space that their is still a small hope she wants to rekindle things? She is coming back next month for a little and maybe then we can see each other. But I don't know

 

I miss her so much and I feel like we each have issues we need to work on but even so we could be so great together. I love her so much and I know she loved me too. It is so complicated and hard to explain in writing and i feel like i havent done a great job. We talked about being together forever and truly cared for each other.

[HeartGoesOn]

rls0505...Please review the forum rules, where our deletion policy is explained in full.

[rls0505]

rls0505...Please review the forum rules, where our deletion policy is explained in full.

 

Ok I did read over the overview on that an to be honest I don't understand why there is not a edit post button for any member to use on their messages at any time? But if not I guess that my ability to delete the thread timed out? So if that is the case can a mod edit and delete it for me? Or Can I be allowed access to the edit message feature?