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Need advice about what is going on please


rose2summer

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I am so grateful for the advice I received here, but now things have taken another turn. My husband after 10 years of being together (not married this whole time) asked for divorce a month ago. He now acts like he wants to get back together, said he needed to improve and would change himself and that he loves me. I had my heart protected when he said these things but it was slightly uplifting.

 

Today, he says, he decided that despite us being legally separated and not eligible for divorce yet, he is going to buy a house. He said he needs me to sign a waiver to the deed. I was floored as to how he claims to care about me but that he is buying a house I have never seen and asking me to waive my right to the deed. I confronted him and he said to stop being a thief and holding him hostage. Yet, he also says that he only said he loves me and wants to work things out for the sake of the baby and not reconcile, opposite of what was said before. He also claims that I am an addiction he is trying to break, sometimes he wants me and other times he doesn't.

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Thanks so much for the advice!

 

What do you make out of him seeming like he wants to reconcile but then not wanting to and going back and forth? Is he just keeping me a backup?

 

You've heard of buyer's remorse? Well there is such a thing as dumper's remorse too. There will be times when he wakes up feeling lonely, alone, wondering if he isn't making a huge mistake, questioning his judgment. At those times, he may run to you offering what looks like reconciliation. I would take that with a huge grain of salt. Remember - actions, not words. He could also be trying to be devious and butter you up so you will sign off on things he wants thinking you'll be back together and all will be well. If I recall correctly, he can't buy the house without your name going on it or your signed waiver. Go get yourself a lawyer before you wake up to empty bank accounts, missing assets and closed credit accounts, i.e. financially disabled in an instant.

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