love, sex, and death

[itgirlmay]

Here's a story that I've gotta let out,

A boy and a girl is what this story's about.

It started in the summer of 2006

Her first real boyfriend decided to hit it and dip

She felt used and abused and wanted him back

So she changed who she was to pick up the slack

Upon recognising the New person she became

She realized she could do better in the relationship game.

And so came the boy whom she began to love

They'd sneak off at night and watch the sky up above

It turned into a ritual, that summer of 06

They'd walk into the night and end it off with a kiss.

Summer came to an end but they kept their bond

They then became intimate and grew more fond of each other

And then a few months came and gone,

The girl was quite mean Which made it less fun

He did everything for her but she blew him off

She thought she was better since he was too soft.

About a year later, Christmas of 2007,

She realized she needed to change and made a New year's resolution.

"I'm gonna start treating him better" is what she told herself

His resolution was to stop letting her damage his health

And so they switched roles, she was nice and he was mean

She figured she deserved it considering she used to play on that team

So she put up with her majesty time and time again

He would blow her off and instead choose other girls to befriend.

That summer of 07, he had people at his mom's place

Upon these people was this girl with a pretty face

He kept his eyes and attention on her the whole time

Forgetting his girlfriend was there watching him check this dime.

And that's when their relationship went down the hill

They would break up and make up, the usual drill.

This happened for another year until they finally had enough

They agreed to move forward and keep the past buried in the dust.

Now here's the interesting turn that happened between the two,

New year's eve 2008, they we're stuck to each other like glue

They were wasted, woke up naked, all of which was a blur.

The deed had been done, although none could recall what occurred.

Then came Valentine's day and all was relatively good

He lit candles, they watched movies and cuddled as close as they could

Soon after his friends took over and changed their whole streak

Upset, she informed him of her missed period and began to weap

The girl took a pregnancy test and she held her breath...

"If I'm pregnant I better be prepared for death."

So there she was, peeing on a stick in front of her sisters

As soon as she was done they grabbed it and started to whisper.

For some odd reason she felt a strong warm sensation.

Bubbles started to fill her chest and she waited to hear a confirmation.

Her sisters started to cry and gave her a warm embrace

They said "congratulations, sis." And smacked her a kiss on the face.

Her heart began to melt and she felt her whole world flip 180

She told her sisters not to tell anyone that she was having a baby

Immediately she told the boy and he began to freak out

He told her to get an abortion or he would leave without a doubt

"You're ruining my life, I hate you." He continually said

Her heart was torn in two, she wished she would just end up dead.

The man whom she loved threatened to leave if she didn't abort

And all she aimed for was to get his love, attention and support.

The two families conflicted- one was pro, the other not

She hated being in the middle, she felt so distraught.

Weeks went by and she locked herself in her room

She would sing to her tummy and talk to it too

She grew so fond of this little tiny thing in her belly

She relaxed in her bed, cuddled up watching the tele.

She read all these books about how to care for a child

Her mind was up, even if it made the boy go wild

But soon the girl began feeling lonely and scared

To try to ease her pain, she met the boy whom baby she shared

He convinced her to make an appointment to get it done

She cried and cried the entire time, she wanted to keep her daughter or son

The counselor informed her she didn't have to make this decision just yet

She felt as though the girl was pressured and doing it would lead to regret

So the girl walked out with a big enormous smile

The boy asked how it went and she said she needed a little

Furious, he stopped the car and kicked her out on her feet

During this time it was winter and snow covered the street

She felt abandoned, abused, and completely alone

She went home, cried and picked up the phone

She held her body tight and said "baby, mommy loves you so much,

Oh how I wish you'll know, how I long to feel your touch."

Just then she felt a flutter on the left side of her belly

"Baby, is that you swimming around in there like jelly?"

The girl began to cry, a little more subtly now

She knew her baby could hear her so tried not to be loud.

"I'm sorry little one, but mommy has to let you go...

You'll like it where you go, it'll be the best of the best home."

The girl kept her hand on the flutter and eventually feel asleep

The next day she went in, her only love she will no longer keep.

All she remembered was feeling drowsy, depressed and ashamed

Everything was a blur, tears fell down her face untamed

The boy took her home, put her to bed and went out to drink

He left her by herself to celebrate while in bed she weaped

Enough was enough and she decided to leave the boy for good

He turned her whole world upside down like no other person could

She lost all hope and joy, she felt suicidal

She wanted to end it all, not just for a little while

Seeing her child was the only thing she could ever think of

She looked to the sky and wondered if she was staring from up above

"Baby, mommy made the worst decision she's ever made,

If I could be with you My entire life would be saved.

Mommy doesn't know what to do and daddy keeps asking for her back,

Baby give me the strength to start over, find a new path."

And so months went by and the days were getting easier to bare

Until one day the boy showed up- he just happened to be right there

He told her he was sorry and he would never do that again

He told her he loved her and that he would help her poor heart mend

The poor, poor girl needed love so she embraced his offering

She thought things would be different, he would help to stop her suffering

Things would go great and out of nowhere he would fall

Back into his old ways like she didn't exist at all

They both went to a party and the boy was completely drunk

The girl ended up taking care of him and woke up feeling punked

You see, the girl put the boy to sleep on the sofa

She even tucked him in and asked him to move over

But he denied her so she went to sleep on the love seat instead

When she woke up, boy, how badly she wished she was dead

She seen the boy and a girl cuddling up beside each other

They were both naked, asleep and under the covers

The girl next to the boy was the same dime the boy crushed on

Years earlier when they were all at his mom's having fun

The two woke up and the girl had the nerve to ask her if She had seen her pants

The boy tried to cuddle beside her, pretending like he had a chance

The funny thing is the two girls were actually friends

But after that incident their relationship would never mend.

The boy repeatedly told the girl nothing happened and they were both drunk

He said he thought the dime was his ex- what else would he have thunk

He said she crawled up beside him and she looked like his chick

So he put his arms around her and went to sleep. She felt so sick.

The girl wanted nothing to do with the boy after that day

But like the idiot she is, She took him back to everyone's dismay

Like a routine, this vicious circle kept on repeating

Years went by and still they both denied ever leaving

Things were going okay, for awhile things seemed top notch

The boy would work early, go home, shower, cook and fall asleep on the dot

Every night, 630pm, is what he told her each morning, first thing

She believed him and felt proud that he was so hard-working

Until one day her friend called, and she heard the ugly truth again

"Baby, I have to tell you, you're man's been hitting on my friend.

When we mention you, he changes the subject and asks about her

She'll tell him to stop- he's being unfair to his girl."

So the girl and this friend whom the boy attempted to pursue

Met up for some drinks to confirm what was true

Confrontation arose and the girl decided to up and move away

Better her life and to finally decide its not worth it to stay

Back to school she went and did far better than she ever imagined

She came back the next summer and managed to stir up past sins

She got back together with the boy and they made love once again

They did it without protection even when the girl recalled the time back then

He said he didn't care and if they had a baby he would be there

He wouldn't do that again, it just wouldn't be fair

She protested and protested and then the deed was done

Two months later she felt the side effects and wish she could run

She took the test and kept it a secret from everyone she loved

Except for the man and her God up above

She knew she wouldn't be accepted if she came back pregnant

She was doing so well and it would ruin the whole arrangement.

The boy made it clear that he would be there but he would rather she did the deed

"It would be better in the end, So You could finish school and succeed."

So she booked another appointment and off to the clinic she went

This time her emotions were drained- She couldn't even vent

She went on late night walks to spend some time with her little bun

She slept at the park and told the baby of nature and the kids at the park having fun

She explained in detail the things get baby could not see

She wished he could in time, but again she wouldn't plea

She cried in pain and she could feel her heart tearing up inside

She wished she ended her life So she wouldn't have life drain her pride

Even more than that she wished she could take her baby's place

She wished it was her who would stare death in the face

She went through the procedure and her boyfriend supplied the drugs

Alcohol and cocaine, She did it until she was completely numb

After all, She was a murderer. She let her baby's die

It was her choice to make, it was hers, not the guy's.

She felt horrible and insane and wished she had an endless supply of drugs

She thought of using her body for the benefit of thugs

A few days later she left town to go back to school

She became more depressed and felt like such a fool

The boy was once again out of her life and she was alone

She looked up the best method to commit suicide and picked up the phone

She called numerous centers to try to get help

But none understood her pain and her tears flew off the shelf

She called the boy and he didn't know what to do

He didn't even want to talk or listen to why she was so blue

Finally she sought after advice from her teacher

After he told her he was worried that he couldn't reach her

Her teacher referred her to a place that he thought could ease her pain

Which it did for awhile, but her main guidance was God. He made her sane.

She started to feel better and worked hard at school

Then she was ready to come home- after all she had been doing so good

A few months went by and she was content with not seeing her ex

But that soon changed after he fed her "I love you" texts

She began seeing him and they would go for lunches and dinners

They both agreed to be friends and see how things unwithered

This was a horrible decision because he kept insisting on having her back

"I wanna be your man, I wanna get it back on track."

They would fool around and feelings came sprinting around the corner at full charge

She fell back in love, and they made plans to work on living life large

"We'll get a house and all support you while your in school

All I want is to be with you and prove I'm no longer a tool"

He sent her pictures of the place he was aiming to buy

And told her they'd spend the day together, but instead hung with the guys

She was upset, curious and confused altogether

He called her and said he booked a romantic trip to make her feel better

But she couldn't go, she needed him to prove he was being serious,

So she asked him to talk to her parents and he grew absolutely nervous.

At first he agreed as long as she initiated contact

He didn't wanna sneak around even if her parents hated him for all the facts

So although she was hesitant, she told her parents the truth

Her mom said "fine, but he needs to talk to your father too."

And so she told him what happened and he refused to do it.

He said he was confused, hated them too, and caused a fit

He said he'd always love her and she'd always have his heart

But he was not happy and they needed to be apart

She fell for him, even after she knew she shouldn't

She told her parents and now she totally blew it

She felt like an idiot and started feeling suicidal

Everything she did, she was still sent to the dump, collecting in a large pile

Unwanted and rejected she considered her whole life

All she wanted was for him to one day make her his wife

She felt like she threw her life away to make him happy

But it was never enough and this made her feel real crappy

He comes and goes when he pleases not knowing how much it hurts her

She sits on the couch while her sight is nothing but a blur

As tears run down her face, she sits there writing a poem about a boy

She feels nothing but used and thrown it like a used, useless toy...