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Some more progress


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So I thought I'd share a little more on my progress now that I'm almost 8 months into the breakup, everything's been going good. I've been preoccupied with plenty of things I enjoy doing, friends, and well uni exams

 

The other day going through my phone I was looking for a contact in whatsapp and I saw my ex's dad had changed his picture (he previously didn't have one, and I know I probably should have deleted any contacts related to my ex, but the most important one... hers is erased and kept in a safe place) and she was in the picture, I looked at it and thought "meh" no big deal.

 

Then yesterday I had scanned a few documents and went to the My Images folder on my computer and had a folder in there called {My Ex's Name}, I have been avoiding them since the breakup and yesterday I opened it up and went through it... I thought "hmm... cool memories..." then I kept looking and checking her out and thought to myself "wow... in this one she's not pretty, in that one she is, she's alright..." and arrived to the final conclusion of "damn... she was much better looking to me when I was her bf lol chemicals"

 

Pictures seem to affect me less than ever now (I don't know if I can say the same if I saw a picture with a new boyfriend, but I'm off facebook right now, so the chances of that happening are pretty slim), and what seems to affect me more is when I visualize in my brain my phone receiving a text and seeing her name popup, or an email with her name lol (yeah I COULD block her off all mediums but hey we've been good about it, no contact 6 months)

 

So although I'm not 100% there, I think I'm getting somewhere and I consider this a milestone.

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Good for you. You're obviously are heading in the right direction and will eventually be 100% there. It's a process. There is no timetable that a person needs to have to get over someone. Go at your own pace. Getting off of FB is huge. Best of luck going forward.

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Very good Else,

 

Takes time and your working well on it, sounds like. Wish you the best. Keep going.

Remember, we do have our 'fallbacks'.. it may happen. But you have that strength.

tc

 

Yep I keep working at it, I know I still have many months to go to be at 100%, I also notice that the fallback is more likely to happen when there are certain triggers and I'm not on my anti-depressants, but in due time I'll be over the triggers and off the pills.

 

Though my mentality has really changed, there are plenty of days where I honestly feel like I'm indifferent to her and the whole situation. I'm becoming my old self again in the sense that I find dating a bit of a pain in the arse, that there's no reason for me to give up my time doing awesome things for someone else etc etc, it sounds arrogant / egotistical I know lol, but that's likely when I'll find the girl that blows me away, when I'm newly interested in putting some effort.

 

The only thing I wonder about is whether or not it's true that if I ever were to reach out even if I did feel indifferent about the whole thing, would the interaction itself set me back (even set her back) because the neurological path ways are essentially already ingrained in my brain and hers (we're drugs to each other any way you look at it). I guess it's best not to concern myself with what could happen in a far future.

 

I hope you deleted her dad off your phone.

 

I'm ashamed to say... I didn't lol, and don't really feel a need to, I keep it around "just in case" (it's not like I ever see the name, it was a 1 off thing in 6 months).... in case of what you may ask? who knows lol, let's just hope i never need it.

 

Though I've been trying to convince my friend who's been broken up 6 months to go NC and he just can't do it.... he's always doing mental gymnastics it drives me a bit insane preacher of NC any thoughts on how to motivate him to stick to it?

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