First real date after my break up?

[beachgal20]

Hi all. I broke up with my ex bf a little over 4 months ago. We were together for 1 year.

 

I have taken these 4 months to be single and heal up after it, been completely No Contact for the entire 4 months. No texting, calling, facebooking (he blocked me actually), and I have not seen him in person. It actually has been incredibly helpful to be no contact and I feel I am almost completely over it. Maybe not 100 percent but definitely getting there.

 

Anyway up til last week I really had not met a new guy I saw any potential in. We met each other thru friends last week and talked the whole night when we were out. He came back to my apt (we are both in college) and he stayed the night but it was very innocent, we just kissed and talked/cuddled. He stayed the next morning for a long time just talking and I really enjoyed being with him.

 

Ever since then he's been texting me. It's been where one of us will fall asleep so the convo continues the next day. But he has already asked me if I want to go on a date sometime with him, and I said yes.

 

The thing is I am so worried I'm going to mess things up. I know its just a first date, but I feel like I'm so scared after my last relationship that things didn't work out so I have it in my head that this wont either. I broke things off because I didn't return the same feelings for him, so now I have this fear that any new guy will like me and I will not have feelings back! I'm afraid i'll be overanalyzing the whole date and my feelings etc etc.

 

Is there anyway for me to relax and stop comparing everything to my past relationship?? Im afraid im ruining my chances of anything ever happening because all i can think is, it didnt work with my ex so the same is bound to happen......Sorry I know this was long. Id appreciate any advice! I'm 21 y/o by the way if that helps at all. Thanks

 

~~lilly

[mhowe]

People all over the world have.successful relationships... why should you be the exception to the norm. Stop worrying about the future and live in the present. He has asked you on a date...not to commit to the next 20 years. It sounds like you have.lots in common, so just chill out!!

[Qac]

I cant really comment on your situation because maybe i'm suffering the same loss of relationship.

 

But from my experience i would say.. just try to be yourself. I know as a girl you are afraid to start such things off in a flash (it looks like a flash). People would come in our live only if we want them to come. You have to work on yourself first. Your physical and mental strength must be there always!

 

There's a fair chance that you might regret this date ONLY if you had this past EX in your mind. So please take some time and try to think.. DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR EX ? or YOU WANT TO MOVE ON ?

Of course if you are still obsessed with you EX then sure.. i would hit up the RED FLAG.

 

As you said you are almost over your EX then there's a good fair chance you can try this new guy but again i would insist.. please dont get desperate! First find that this guy is the right person for you. Time wont come back.. so take this time and first and really think DO YOU REALLY THIS GUY ? IS HE REALLY THE ONE ?

[Ms Darcy]

Your question is basically how can I be ready to date? You are ready to date when you internally have moved on from the previous relationship. Moving on is more than not having feelings for the ex. It is letting go of anxieties from the last relationship too.

 

You are not there. I would advise not dating until you are.

[Slimpee]

To build upon what Darcy wrote, I think you'll know when you're ready. If you have to ask, you probably need to give it a bit more time.