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Mixed thoughts and feelings trying to get back together with my ex.


kbeb29

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Me and my ex broke up around 6 months ago. We were together for around 3 years and she was unhappy with our relationship in terms of time spent and some other details. She moved back to her home state and we didnt talk for 3 months. We started talking maybe for 4 months now and she says she wants to think about trying it again. She visited recently and we had an awesome time together (she payed for the ticket). Now she is back in her home state. She has seen a lot of guys since our breakup (which is fine) but since we started talking and seeing if things may still work she is still going out and hooking up with guys (again its fine but when you say you love someone and have intentions of getting back together with them i certainly wouldn't be doing that myself, not that i couldnt it just doesnt sound like something i would want to do). Anyways everytime i bring up the question of what her status or thoughts are about us possibly getting back together she gets annoyed and pushes it off and usually gets off the phone. Our talking doesnt seem one sided she will start conversations up and so will i. I have not pestered her about going out and hanging out with other guys whatsoever it just really questions her real intentions here. She wants me to go see her and meet her friends and stay with her family here soon but i am wondering why i would spend my money if i know something is so unstable. She is putting in the initiative and still says she loves me. It is just hard to wrap my head around why she is taking this long to come to any conclusion and why she thinks she is the only one who is stressed. My life relationship wise is at a standstill obviously my choice becuase i have been waiting for a decision from her. I have not been seeing anyone or going out and hooking up with other girls because i have no desire to as long as she thinks we may have something there still. My question is what do you think her intentions are and why is she putting this conversation off so long? She doesnt seem to grasp the fact that i have a life to and have put mine on hold and she doesnt seem to care either. Its all about her but she still hangs around but will never have the conversation. Any advice on how to go about this conversation or something i should point out about my intentions or hers in order to make her realize she needs to make a decision here. I have no problems moving forward, but this girl really means a lot to me and i want to give her a chance here. I just dont get why she is prancing around with other guys and what it tells me about her intentions. I havent been because i have no desire too.

 

"hooking up" means having sex. She has indeed been manipulative and selfish and that is one worry i do have if we did decide to get back together. But my mind and heart are on two different pages. I am so torn up about all of it.

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She is all talk. She has no intention of stopping with the hook ups. You broke up...and put your life on hold. She did not. And if your 2nd time round relationship is going to be.long distance...I think it safe to assume she will be hooking up. Put this back in the.past and move on.

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Take your life off hold and move on. Her actions are telling you what you need to know. My guess is she's putting you off because she likes having her hook ups and finds some security in using you as someone who will be there for her. Her intentions? Probably string you along until she doesn't want what she's getting from you anymore. She sounds selfish and it's not fair to you but you can't force her to give you answers. Let her go so you can move on.

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She is 'living it up' as you two have broken up. As you mentioned, she wasn't happy?

Now, she's out there, having a bunch of fun and seems to be enjoying it- and you..when she went to visit.

I would not go her way- but leave her alone.

 

You two aren't together at the moment- so why go there?

Time to give her the distance. IF or when she DOES reconsider, she will let you know.

 

IF you are 'hurting' over things re: her, I suggest you remain on your own, not looking for a new relationship. After a LTR, moving on too quickly before your over your break up, could lead to being a rebound. Those are painful...

 

One day at a time.. Worry about YOU now.

tc

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