Hopelessromant Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Hi. I've decided to discuss dumpers regret in my psychology class since I've been so involved in this site. First I'd like to thank everyone for the love and support you have for each other. Anyways, Have you or anyone you know ever been in a situation where the dumper went complete no contact in order to move on obviously but the dumper comes back after maybe even months? How did it feel? Was all hope lost before this point? Did things work out? Why did they wait that long to realize things? Stories are welcome! Thank you. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 My bf broke up with me and came back 3.5 months later. Told me he had never stopped loving me and asked for.another chance. Link to comment
pettypink Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Aw hun, there's a lot of stories like that, but make sure you stay grounded. False hope will just end up hurting more (I would know). Just believe that if it's meant to be, it will happen. One of my best friends, her boyfriend and her broke up a few years ago and he came back 10 months later (full NC on her part) and asked to see her. There had been some misunderstandings between them that made them both too stubborn to talk to each other until he gave in. She was happy he came back, but his behaviour hadn't changed, so it didn't work out. Link to comment
Hopelessromant Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 Thank you! Link to comment
Lambert Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 It's been my experience that most dumpers come back. It's like as soon as I move on and I am happy with my life, there they are. I have taken a couple back... It depends on the situation. In hindsight, I think it is a mistake to take someone back. At the time, I was very relieved to have them come back. It was a reassurance, like I knew they cared and here was the proof. But in the back of my mind I was nervous about it. And although I would work to overcome that, it wouldn't work out anyway. The same problems were still problems or with one guy, he was wishy washy all the way around. And if you think getting dumped is bad, going out on a limb to trust them again and then get dumped again... OMG. It's the worst. Right now, the bu I am working through is a situation where they guy dumped me for his ex who came back. It really sucks for me, and I am trying to work through it. I spend a lot of time thinking about how their reconciliation will be. Which I hope will pass sooner rather than later. She came back to him claiming she loves him and is moving back to our town to be together. Ugh... Maybe it will work out for them. I don't really know enough about it to say what's happening with them. As the dumped third party it sucks. Link to comment
Johnny21422 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 so Full No contact, does that mean not responding to their message too? My bf broke up with me and came back 3.5 months later. Told me he had never stopped loving me and asked for.another chance. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 He wasn't in contact during that time. He called and.asked.if he.could come over...that he needed to talk to me. For.3 hrs, he talked and apologized and asked for another chance. I said yes. Link to comment
Twidom Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Are you positive of this? They ALWAYS come back..? I'm struggling very hard at the moment to get over my ex and as much as I want her back...I don't want her back...If you know what I mean? And I know that if she wants me back I'll not be strong enough to say no and I'll get hurt again... Link to comment
CF-35 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Are you positive of this? They ALWAYS come back..? I'm struggling very hard at the moment to get over my ex and as much as I want her back...I don't want her back...If you know what I mean? And I know that if she wants me back I'll not be strong enough to say no and I'll get hurt again... I know that feeling, sometimes I feel like I don't want her back because I can't deal with her mother but I want her to want me back. I think its mainly because I want to feel like I was a good boyfriend, I want recognition and validation. Other times I feel like I really do want her back and that she's the perfect girl for me.... it's hard to keep a clear perspective. Link to comment
Kittykat12 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 ^ no, they don't always come back . The 2 men I broke up with - I never went back to , nor did I want to Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Are you positive of this? They ALWAYS come back..? I'm struggling very hard at the moment to get over my ex and as much as I want her back...I don't want her back...If you know what I mean? And I know that if she wants me back I'll not be strong enough to say no and I'll get hurt again... She said...IN MY EXPERIENCE. Link to comment
Hopelessromant Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 Thank you guys Link to comment
JJoj Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 In my experience, they pretty much always come back. Link to comment
Clio Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 In my experience, they often come back but they leave again just as easily. Once they do it once, it is much more easy for them to do it again. I now believe that them coming back means more heartache 9 times out of 10 so it's nothing to look forward to. Mine came back and left again but this time around he had spotted a replacement. He is now married to her. So be careful what you wish... Believing that you can be the exception to the rule is asking for pain. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 In my experience --- exception to the rule. Which I am immensely grateful for!!! Link to comment
JJoj Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 In my experience, they often come back but they leave again just as easily. Once they do it once, it is much more easy for them to do it again. I now believe that them coming back means more heartache 9 times out of 10 so it's nothing to look forward to. Mine came back and left again but this time around he had spotted a replacement. He is now married to her. So be careful what you wish... Believing that you can be the exception to the rule is asking for pain. Relationships are heartache 9 times out of 10. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Relationships are heartache 9 times out of 10. No...they aren't. They are the best thing ever... 9 out of 10 times. We have all had the rotten one but you learn and grow and don't make the same mistake 2x. Link to comment
Hopelessromant Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 Relationships are amazing if you're with the right person! Don't become negative just because of a bad relationship!!! Link to comment
Hopelessromant Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 Keep them coming Link to comment
Spaniard Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Not trying to high lack the thread but I think this is relevant. I have been reading a lot of breakup/getting back together stories in these forums and there is one consistency that I keep finding accross the board..... When someone goes NC the other partner comes back or makes contact right at the 3 month mark.... I have read at least 2 dozen accounts of this. Is there something mathematical about the 3 month mark, some kind of statistical probability.... I can't be the only one who has noticed this? In relation to this thread I think this is an interesting point of discussion. Has anyone else noticed this 3 month phenomenon? Link to comment
Crazyabouther Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 In my experience as a dumpee, my exes seem to come back after they work out that I've let go and moved on. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Not trying to high lack the thread but I think this is relevant. I have been reading a lot of breakup/getting back together stories in these forums and there is one consistency that I keep finding accross the board..... When someone goes NC the other partner comes back or makes contact right at the 3 month mark.... I have read at least 2 dozen accounts of this. Is there something mathematical about the 3 month mark, some kind of statistical probability.... I can't be the only one who has noticed this? In relation to this thread I think this is an interesting point of discussion. Has anyone else noticed this 3 month phenomenon? no its absolute crap , please don't kid yourself that the 12 week plan will work or the 3 months silence or anything else Link to comment
Jay98 Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 After 8 months of NC my ex returned. He had treated me so badly during the break up and put me through so much pain. It was true for me; I had began to move on and finally feel normal and happy again. They must be able to sense it. Stupidly I gave him another go, but he hadn't changed. He kept letting me down, being distant, talking about sex a lot. Refusing to call what we had a relationship and just said "we are working on it". (Rubbish). He later went mad with me over something he was insecure about (me sleeping with my other ex BEFORE I even knew him). I hadn't done it, but he called me a liar and a anyway and that's when I ended it myself. Screw that. Turns out he'd tried asking out a girl from a coffee shop 3 weeks before getting in touch with me and she rejected him. Please be careful and don't make the same mistakes I did. Link to comment
Spaniard Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 no its absolute crap , please don't kid yourself that the 12 week plan will work or the 3 months silence or anything else NO, I'm not saying there is a 3 month "plan".... I asking if anyone else has noticed that is many of the stories of Ex's contacting of coming back that there is a unusual consistency of it happening within 3 months. I'm not saying this is a scientific fact. It's just a VERY prevalent pattern I've noticed in these break up stories Link to comment
sharky988 Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 NO, I'm not saying there is a 3 month "plan".... I asking if anyone else has noticed that is many of the stories of Ex's contacting of coming back that there is a unusual consistency of it happening within 3 months. I'm not saying this is a scientific fact. It's just a VERY prevalent pattern I've noticed in these break up stories Are you by any chance coming up on 3 months NC? Link to comment
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