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Instant Regret Every Time I Break up.. Normal?


baseballplaya9

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I Have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now. We are both in college and she sleeps at my apt every night. We hang out A LOT. She really is a good girl at heart. However, we have lots of problems. She is extremely jealous and insecure. This absolutely eats at me to the core because I find it affecting my life negatively. Every she has the bouts of jealously or acts controlling it literally turns me off the relationship so much. I did a post earlier about her wanting me to look away from the television like a little kid while watching a movie since it had a short stripper scene in it. She also doesnt let me follow any new girls on twitter. She made me delete the "ifunny" app off my phone. Snoops through my browsing history, Gets pissed if I have casual conversations with (what she deems to be attractive) females friends in front of her. Deletes old girlfriends off my facebook, etc. We have gotten into more arguments than I can count about these things and the seem as if they will never change..

 

Anyway, getting to the point. I have broken up with her on two separate occasions throughout this year. Both time I felt it was the right thing to do because I just didnt think we were compatible. I end up doing the breakup and ending things and Im good for a few hours, feeling as if I did the right thing.. Then I just get hit like a brick wall. All I can do is think about her. I immediately fall in love with her again just by thinking about how much I miss her. It becomes so unbearable that I contact her and end up getting back together. Things are so nice for the week or so after getting back together but then it isnt long before the same insecurities start ticking me off and pushing me away. Before long I start to feel that a breakup is needed, but then as soon as I start thinking about how I felt the first time I tried breaking up it just kills me and I once again cant break it off. This is my very first relationship so Im not used to these types of emotions.. Is this normal??

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Not really. You are just afraid to be alone...so you stay in a lousy relationship.

And return to it. Break up....and promise yourself you will not.speak to her for 2 weeks. The.panic of being alone.will have passed by then...and you might find yourself enjoying your freedom!!

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This is an unhealthy pattern. The only way to end the pattern is to break it and your girlfriend will have more of a chance of being less insecure. I don't know how old you guys are, but when I was younger I did stupid things that I would never do again, some of it being insecure nonsense that your girlfriend is currently doing. What helped was breaking up and analyzing the things that I could have changed in myself. This will never happen for either of you until you end things since I'm not sure why you have put up with this controlling behavior for a year nor why she is so controlling and insecure. End it, go NC and hope for the best.

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Just end it, delete her number and block her on all social media. When you get that urge to contact you, you call one of your friends.

 

Playing back and forth games with her isn't going to change the relationship. In fact I don't even think a team of therapists could make her more tolerable.

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