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I am not sure about nightclubs anymore


diamondhead

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Ok, so I guess you have been reading my whiney threads. So I will try to make it as non whiney as possible.

 

I partied with a couple of people last night. Honestly speaking I have never partied that way(too late), I didn't tell the girl that since I didn't want to sound like a dork.

 

Is it normal to grind on somebody you just met on the same day? The problem is, I don't want to really do it. No, I am not kidding. I am just not interested to grind on some girl I met on the same day. I just wanted to dance and meet some new people. I did meet some nice people. But I just didn't like whole vibe about how the guys were groping and grinding on these girls. Ok, the girls were enjoying it and everything is above board. But after a while I felt a little sick with all the random grinding and groping. Sometimes there was no dancing.

 

Yes there is jealousy. I know that I wouldn't possibly have the guts to do all those things.

 

But I felt so out of place. I love to dance, I love to listen to heavy beats but I am not very comfortable with the overtly sexual vibe. I am not experienced so this felt so weird to see the behaviour of the people. I felt a little sick with all the lonely guys hanging around, sometimes, just trying to get close but then get rejected.

 

I wasn't rejected because hey, I didn't even try. I felt like I was under pressure to do those things. One of my friends also joined in on the action and I felt totally alone. After a while I couldn't enjoy dancing. There was one guy, in our group, who didn't care about all these things at all. He didn't care about rubbing on the girls, just was dancing throughout. I felt a little better when I saw him.

 

The people who went with me were really nice. So I don't have any complaints. I understand that maybe this is their time to let loose but maybe it was a little too much for me.

 

I hope this is not a whiney thread like the previous ones. I just wanted to know if anybody else felt this way about clubs and if my thoughts are not totally strange.

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I stopped going to clubs maybe when I was 22 or 23. The last time I went, we all wound up going to some house party where I sat on a couch with the only 2 relatively sober people there, one of which kept trying to show me pictures of the women he's bedded(in action, no less!!) "When it's good...... I take a picture." At that point I was like, yeah ok I don't think I like the club scene or its inhabitants anymore.

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I'm afraid I am the same

 

I would rather pluck my nasal hair one slow pull at a time than be in a nightclub .

 

however , when I did go out anything went ..but only with friends , as in messing around on the dance floor etc ... but I guess the grinding is the normal now as to how "nightclubs" have progressed just like every other fashion .

 

so in answer to

 

Is it normal to grind on somebody you just met on the same day

 

no , not in my world ......

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I was like this when i started clubbing. Then i just started to drink because i was like... if i am going to stand here and watch people grind (and i am latin, so this was during the reggeton phase of nyc- and reggeton requires a lot of grinding), then i might as well get drunk- so i got hammered and ended up grinding on some fine women. I even got on stage.

 

But, there always that weird vibe i get when i first enter the club. Like everyone is trying so hard, and there are so many fake people, and people who are ego-driven and lack true substance- but once i get twisted, i get right into the hottest girls face- and i rarely got the hand pushing me off.

 

I quit that club crap 6 years ago- it got old fast.

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But, there always that weird vibe i get when i first enter the club. Like everyone is trying so hard, and there are so many fake people

 

100%

 

This is exactly why I went to a club ONCE in my life. Never again.

 

I also negatively judge people who frequent clubs. It says a lot about character if you enjoy those places.

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I know the feeling... I'm a student, and clubs on student nights can be ok if you're in a big group of friends - but having been out once or twice on non student nights, it's just full of the sort of people I have nothing whatsoever in common with. Even student nights lose their appeal after a while - I'd much rather sit in the pub with friends and drink good beer than be in some hot sweaty club with nasty spirit/mixer combos!

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I absolutely hate clubs. I did the whole club thing in my early/mid 20s and definitely had my fun nights, girls, etc...but I just hate the whole feel and atmosphere. Like I think Thors said, it's all so fake and everyone is trying so hard.

 

Plus, crazy cover charges and incredible drink prices at NYC clubs? No thank you.

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I do miss it sometimes. We entered deep with 20 people, and we had some hot women in our group so we got skipped to the front of the line-, girls rubbing on me, me rubbing against them, sometimes i felt like a celebrity (when i was really drunk, lol)- drunk fights, friends getting hammered that they say or do something stupid- then show up to work like... "yoooooo what happened to yoooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!?????"

 

But i still remember those first few sobering minutes when i entered the club. Its like i want to smack everyone in the face. As soon as i met my ex- i stopped clubbing. I also wouldnt get involved with clubbers.

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Clubs are fine as long as one goes there to dance, drink and socialize with friends, not with the intent of meeting a significant other. Although there have been many cases that I know of, where people met their spouses in clubs.

 

I still like to go, with my friends, and we mostly hang out together and usually don't interact with others too much. We make sure to go to places with more mature crowds, where the atmosphere is different than the "kiddie" clubs. We always have a great time and it's an excellent way to see friends, exercise (dancing is a great exercise) and dress up the way we can't do during the week.

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I stopped going to clubs when I turned 50. Enough of that.

 

I met my (ex)wife at a club. That's an anomaly . I wish I had back the time and money I wasted chasing women in clubs. Clubs are horrible places to meet women.

 

You stopped going at 50?? Damn, I haven't had the urge to (voluntarily) go to a club since I was like 25, and don't see it coming back. I hate clubs, never really liked them actually. I'm more into bars and lounges.

 

And I think we all know you should NEVER buy a woman a drink. I mean, if you WANT to, go ahead, but it doesn't in any way help you "advance" things (whether you're trying to sleep with her or just get to know her). There are some women out there who make it a game to see how many free drinks they can get from guys at the bar who think supplying them alcohol will get them in the door. I haven't bought a woman a drink (outside of an actual date) since college.

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I absolutely hate clubs. I did the whole club thing in my early/mid 20s and definitely had my fun nights, girls, etc...but I just hate the whole feel and atmosphere. Like I think Thors said, it's all so fake and everyone is trying so hard.

 

Plus, crazy cover charges and incredible drink prices at NYC clubs? No thank you.

 

Grinding at clubs is weird.

 

Apparently it's not ok to makeout, grope or kiss a girl within 30 minutes of meeting her but rubbing your genitals close together in a highly sexual manner is fine as long as you are dancing to music.

 

I grinded with a female friend of mine, back in college, to the point where it was obvious I liked it, but she considered me a "brother" and would never do anything sexual with me. But she said it was ok to grind since its "just dancing", even if it meant I got excited.

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Another fun saturday night went by with lots of dancing and so on.

 

I am really conflicted. I love the dancing, the music but as I mentioned the attitudes really turn me off. Last time was actually better. This time we are in a smaller club and there was a guy constantly trying to hug my friend (and other girls). He was bothering her constantly that I actually started to feel sorry for her and him. I don't know how a guy can actually be rejected so many times and still retain his self respect.

 

Sure I could do the same thing and try to hug those girls. But if they say "no" one or two times, isn't it prudent to just back off? How many times do you need to hear the same answer and be insulted over and over again? I don't know how he is able to handle it. At the end of the day, he tried to hug a dozen girls and all of them were uninterested but he was not ready to take no for an answer and he was groping them. It felt like rape (it isn't but still).

 

Even when the girls are leaving, he was bothering them asking for the number or whatever.

 

I don't want to sit at home on saturday nights, I want to dance, I want to be in a communal atmosphere but sometimes I get so disgusted by everything. If I wasn't in a group, I would just go home early without waiting.

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No, I don't know him, thank God. I would kill myself if he was my friend. Eww.

 

I am no angel but I don't know how you can do all these things and still maintain your self respect. He groped a few girls - this is what he achieved throughout that night. Now what was the point of that? I even saw how disappointed he was each time he got rejected and he would move on to the other girl. It was like watching a train wreck.

 

The other club wasn't bad actually, in comparison. At least this guy wasn't there.

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Drugs/alcohol?

 

I know of a man whose sister was being hit on at a night club. The guy stepped in and told the man to bugger off. The guy came back a few minutes later and stabbed him with a knife. He went to the hospital, he needed surgery. The other guy was arrested..

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I wanted to go to nightclubs years ago because I thought that's where all the hot girls in skimpy dresses went; seeing them outside a club seemed impossible. Now I can't really stand the grinding that goes on there. Maybe you'd be better off going to a different dance club, more like salsa or latin style dancing? Learning dancing would also give you an excuse to meet girls outside your social circle.

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