Need SERIOUS Help!!!! Tough Question.

[Confuzed 780]

Hello,

 

I'm not even sure If this is the right forum for this but I need some random advice I guess. So I’ll just get right to the point. I met this girl about 9 months ago. And since we've been together she done some things that has changed my life. Helped me get back into school and has motivated me to want more out of my life. She also helped support me and my family when my mom got sick. Taken me places that I've never been before. She's really sweet and honestly I fell in love with her. With that said recently I believe that she has cheated on me or at the very least considered doing so. I have no real concrete proof but there have been a few developments. I know for a fact that there was a guy that she has been communicating with and seeing that she is attracted to. They even went on a date. But that's all I really know. How far the relationship actually went I can't be 100% sure of. I've asked her and she's denied it. To make matters worse she says she went to the doctor and recently found out she has herpes. The thing about that is she could have caught it before me or from this guy or whatever. It stays in your body for years without symptoms. Getting tested is of course already done but I don't know what else to do. When she told me about it she also mentioned that she was considering leaving me but she says that would have been a mistake. I know she loves me (Or at least I'm pretty sure she does now. She says she does but that could be guilt) I also know that people make mistakes. Lord knows I've made them in my past relationships. I'd feel like a hypocrite judging her. And I really do love her. I could even forgive her IF there is anything to forgive. However the man in me says "RUN". "It's only been 9 months, she might have cheated on you, you’ll find someone else, Think about your health!!!" I know herpes won't kill you and I know I may not have it and I know that I can protect myself during sex but my health is still a factor.

[louisecar]

Well I definitely wouldn't have sex with her again until the results of your test come back because you may not have herpes, especially if she only caught them recently from a guy. And no condoms do not fully protect you from herpes as any contact with skin around the genitals could possibly transmit it.

 

Are you two exclusive? If you have agreed not to date other people then her going on a date with that guy is reason enough to dump her.

[Confuzed 780]

We are... Or at least I am.... And that was my first feeling as well. But I'm not sure it was a "date". They went to a park out of state together and I don't know what happened. I've asked her a few times but she never really gave me a full answer. Either way I think I can forgive one indiscretion if that is all it was. People can get freaked out by a serious relationship and do stupid things. And She can be immature when she wants to be.

[SooSad33]

If she's been involved with another guy & you- she's NOT fully into your relationships.

Sadly, it sounds like YOU love more than she does.

 

She's lying? She's cheated? Do you want to go on, being aware of this?

 

I'd ask for some space.. ask that you take a break so you can think on this.

[louisecar]

well if youre willing to forgive her thats up to you but personally i wudnt knowingly sleep with someone who has herpes unless the other elements of our relationship were amazing and even then its a big thing to consider. i would talk to a doctor re statistics and how to limit risk of catching herpes.

[Confuzed 780]

You're both right. While the other aspects of our relationship have been amazing I think I need some space from the sex at the very least. I do love her. Probably more than she does me but I think (or at least want to believe) she's trying. She told me about her condition. Which she didn't have to do. And since then she's been a lot more open with me about things. I'm aware of the ways that I can avoid getting it myself I guess I'm just trying to figure out if she's worth it. At this point I'm not sure how much I trust her so I think at least a little bit of time and space is what's best. I Just hope it works out for the best.