Jump to content

He never initiates phone calls/texts. I'm so confused!


Miss Grumpy

Recommended Posts

Hi, I'm seeing a guy whom I met on dating website 9 months ago. When we met, we exchanged a few messages and met up straight away. We had a long and intense first date and have been seeing each other every week since then. I met most of his close friends, his mum and even his nan.

 

He's very nice to me when we're are together but once we are apart, he never calls/texts me! He replies my texts and calls me back within reasonable timespan if he couldn't pick up . He said even thought of me going off with other guy drives him crazy.

 

Although we were at it all the time for the first few months, now it slowed down but still have sex at least once in one date which is once a week.

 

He once told me that he was scared to show how he felt about me and sometimes even pushed me away not to get hurt. He also said that I was the best girl he ever met and he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have me, and that I'm flawless to him. He was so emotional when he told me this he was crying.

 

BUT we are technically not in a relationship because he feels he's not ready for one due to his career/dream/lifestyle. Relationship/love is not very important for him at the moment and he doesn't want a girlfriend he says.

 

So I asked him if he wanted me to back off so he can concentrate on whatever is important for him but he couldn't give me the answer and just said he wanted me to be happy because I deserve it. He left me to choose it whether I stay or leave. He said he'd miss me a lot if we stop seeing each other but he couldn't tie me down as it'd make him feel that he's taking advantage of me.

 

I want to be with him as long as he genuinely likes me but can't help feeling unwanted for not hearing from him unless I make a move. He was always like that and I complained to him many times but he never changed. I used to try and not contacting him until he did, it took him a week to call me.

 

I'm so confused. Should I leave him alone or stick with him?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're not confused. You're wishing this guy wanted the same thing that you want - a relationship. But he has said he doesn't. He also has left the ball in your court to decide if you want to accept what he's telling you he's willing to give at this point. It sounds like you don't want to accept it - and you don't have to; thats what dating is all about. So throw this fish back so that you can be available to the man who WILL want a relationship with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He has said he doesn't want a relationship but basically he wants you to give him all the perks on a relationship including sex.

 

There is no point sticking around hoping he will suddenly want a relationship because he wont. You should find someone who wants to be with you. You deserve that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He has said he doesn't want a relationship but basically he wants you to give him all the perks on a relationship including sex.

 

This!

 

If you want to continue seeing him then do but also see other people. "He said even thought of me going off with other guy drives him crazy." Well that's tough because it sounds like he wants everything that comes with a relationship but to also keep his options open i.e. sleep with other women. If I was you I would call it a day now but if you can't then keep your eyes open when it comes to other men.

 

And do not be one of those women who waits around for a man to change. We all have hopes of that but trust me 99% of the time they never change and if he was truly gaga over you he wouldn't want to leave his options open.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate to break it to you, but you're dating one of these. link removed

 

It's best you read up on the whole thing at the website where that link will take you, so you understand you're involved with someone who isn't ever going to commit to you. But who doesn't want to let you go to get that commitment from anyone else either. Is that what you really want?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ParisPaulette,

 

Wow that was very interesting. Eye opening really. As you may have noticed from my writing, I'm not a native English speaker and from Asian country where we think it's polite/easy not to say Yes or No.

But considering that I'm in Europe and this guy is English, I have to do as Romans do...Thank you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...