No contact after 3 months

[ksm1988]

Hi all,

 

This is my first post on the site and I could really do with some advice. I was with my ex for 18 months and we lived together in his house. We broke up because he said he 'couldn't cope' with being in a relationship and wants to be selfish and concentrate on himself and his job.

 

It has been 3 months and in that time I have tried to get back together, we've had one ill advised tryst and I've sent him angry messages anytime I think he is seeing someone else. I know that this is the wrong behaviour. I got particularly cross when I found out he went to Paris and he still owes me £600 towards the house.

 

Anyway..... I have decided that enough is enough. He has never changed his story and does not want to be with me whatever his reasons. Is it too late to start no contact? Have I completely lost all dignity?

 

Most importantly how do I stop obsessing over him and thinking that this is all a temporary split,

 

Any advice welcome as I feel like I am going mad!

[sharky988]

Hi and welcome.

 

No Contact will restore your sense of dignity and self-mastery -- and it's never too late to begin!

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

[ksm1988]

Thank you, there are some great articles on there! I just want the pain to go away

[SooSad33]

Yes, it is very hard to get over someone you came to love. What you did is normal- the begging, pleading.. angry reactions etc.

It is YOUR way of dealing with this....

You've been blown away with a 'loss' and loss is very hard to handle for a good while.

You will go thru months of heartache, confusion,anger, acceptance, denial, etc. If you cry.. let it out.

Best thing to do now is have NOTHING to do with your ex. Do No contact so YOU can work on your 'healing' from your loss.

Less contact the better-- we don't need reminders.

 

It will hurt.. as loss always does. One day at a time though, and in this time, work on YOU.

Get rest, eat well and try to keep busy. You'll experience many difficult days but keep going.

 

Take care.. stick around..you're not alone.

[ksm1988]

Thank you! That is really good advice. Just nice to know I'm not going nuts and this is normal!! Just wish I didn't want him back after everything...oh well, as you say, take each day at a time.

[jjkk]

Oh you're aren't nuts, this is completely normal. I absolutely agree w/ no contact. Getting the pain to go away just takes time. Best wishes.

[ksm1988]

Well I had to contact my ex today as he owes me money and still hasn't paid it. I was polite and to the point. I ended by telling him that I will be at a mutual night out with my friends and got the response, "thanks for telling me. Hope you're ok," I didn't respond. It made me cry today as I hate the coldness but I have to stick to NC, will it ever get easier????

[mhowe]

He has no intention of repaying you. So, accept the loss and go back to NC.

[ksm1988]

Well he assures me he'll pay it by Friday....but we will see! Just difficult when someone you loved so much becomes a stranger. Thanks

[mhowe]

Don't keep letting the $ be a reason for contact.

[ksm1988]

Yeah you are right...so easy to make an excuse. Thanks