Still Miss Her...

[firefly2613]

38 Days No Contact. She's 18, I'm 22. She was with another guy less than a month after. I know these things happen and I know I'm better off but I still really miss her and telling her about my day or my latest accomplishment.

 

Every time I think I am ready to move on or I'm okay I just get pulled back to a place like I'm in now - sitting in my car in an abandoned parking lot, crying my eyes out.

 

I always thought that maybe she would come home...

[EmilyE]

I hear ya. I'm about 6 weeks no contact, and I'm even seeing someone else and trying my hardest to move on. But I can't help just missing him. Pure sadness of not having him around every day. And his dog as well, miss him terribly. I have learned (the hard way! 2 years later!) that just because you miss him/her doesnt mean that you should be with them. I thought for the longest time that because I missed him, it must mean we were meant to be together. I can tell you 101 reasons why I SHOULDNT be with my ex, but I can't help but still want him.

 

I'm in the same boat, hope it helps to know you're not alone. I just keep hoping that time will heal.

[SooSad33]

Sorry for your loss & pain. Am not sure how long you 2 were together? But loss always hurts. I'm dealing with much the same after a 5 yr relation- ended 7 mos ago. Still emotional..sadness..tears daily.

Takes time.. if you're the dumpee.. takes much longer to heal.

 

We've had to continue occasional contact as I had to wait on getting a new vehicle fr him.. so finally that's dealt with.. meanwile we had to keep contact- which was frustrating that I couldn't just block him from my life..as it hurts continously

 

Now, that it's done.. he came to me and asked about 'friends'.. coming to see me etc. I said, I dont think so.

I need to heal and move on. He seemed upset. He KNOWS this is his doing/fault. He wandered...

So really.. unless or until he's ready to inform me he's NOT seeing anyone and wants ME.. I don't want contact, as it just prolongs that pain.

LC or NC is always best to work on healing. Less reminders the better.

 

He texts me today- again. Says he still loves me (whatever.. if u did, you wouldn't be w/her) and misses me lots. Well yes, that's normal! I said.. miss you too.

He said something about helping me out a bit- I said 'it's okay- no'. His reply was 'well i'm not okay'.

I first asked 'why'? Then sent another one saying " I'm not okay either, but that's expected!'.

Heard nothing back.

 

I will NOT be his friend.. until MY feelings are no longer there for him. He doesnt get it- he's weird this way?

I guess kinda like have your cake n eat it too crap? NO ty.

YOU are not with me.. then leave me alone... ty

[micro]

38 Days No Contact. She's 18, I'm 22. She was with another guy less than a month after. I know these things happen and I know I'm better off but I still really miss her and telling her about my day or my latest accomplishment.

 

Every time I think I am ready to move on or I'm okay I just get pulled back to a place like I'm in now - sitting in my car in an abandoned parking lot, crying my eyes out.

 

I always thought that maybe she would come home...

 

Hi firefly

 

Sorry to hear about your situation.

It is normal to feel the way you do. My experience with previous ex (big love) was that I used to miss her almost 3 years.

Good thing is that intensity of this feeling, decreases with time. So after some time, you will just occasionally miss her...and after even some more time you will stop thinking of her.

Now when I remember this ex, she is just a good memory to me.

 

Agree with you that it sucks when you cannot tell her about achievements. Use thread on enotalone for this purpose...its a good substitute...it helps me.

 

So, as everyone here would say, accept that its over for good, focus on yourselfer, workout, find a hobby, spoil yourself (new clothes, gadgets...maybe car if you can afford ;-), implement 100% NC, throw away everything that reminds you on her, spend more time with friends and family, cry when you feel to.....After some time you will feel better and will be ready for new relationship.

....And use this time to figure out where you were making mistakes in previous relationship, so you could implement learnings in new relationship.

 

Wish you all the best!