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Valentines Day, Spice or disaster?


bronze24

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I know valentines day isnt for a few months but I am undecided on a special weekend getaway to celebrate.

 

My boyfriend and I are stuck in a rut. Weve been friends for 6 years and only a couple for 1. We have found it hard to transition to our new roles as boyfriend and live in girlfriend.

 

There is little if any romance between us. No hugs or kisses, no I love yous. Hand holding on occasion at best. We dont even sleep in the same room as we prefer different temperatures and have different sleep cycles.

 

We care about each other and have a strong bond but its more friendly than anything. Our sex is intimate and we know each others families, but I dont know if we have a future as a couple.

 

Last Valentines day I went to dinner with someone else and he went to his parents. He told me he wasnt into Valentines day and I just wanted a fun night out. He later wanted to order take out and watch a movie but I was already dressed so we went our separate ways.

 

Days later he admitted that he was upset we spent it apart.

 

My plan for Valentines 2014 is to take a weekend trip to Niagra Falls as Valentines day lands on a Friday. I want to spend the weekend in a hotel suite, have dinner at Windows, spend an evening at the casino and end the trip with a helicopter tour of the Falls.

 

Im hoping the weekend (as expensive as ever) will kick start some real romance and help us into the next chapter as a serious couple.

 

Im hesitant because its a lot of money to spend only to waste it forcing social situations on him if he chooses not to open up. Id hate to travel all that way only to be met with silence or forced conversation.

 

I really dont want to force anything as I want us to progress naturally, if at all.

But I do think a surprise weekend getaway would be a huge gesture on my part to show him that I am open to more romance should he have any doubts.

 

Has anyone been in a relationship with a rough transitional patch? How did it turn out? Anyone gone on a weekend getaway? Did it go as planned? Any suggestions for Valentines plans or opinions on our relationship are welcome.

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Why not try to have a romantic weekend before Valentines Day? I mean...Valentines day is months away....

 

You could tell him next Saturday night is going to be a surprise...and tell him to dress up nice...you can dress up nice...go out for a nice dinner. You can do things to amp up sex too. Buy a butterfly. Wear it. Give him the remote during dinner. Or as you're about to head out the door, take off your panties (wear cute ones) and put them in his pocket. Send him dirty texts about what you want to do with him later...take control of your sex life.

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I just had a quick flick on your last thread and it seems that you really are having a bad time , and most of the advice was to dump his ass...

 

so maybe like the others have said , why wait till february ...you are trying to get things going with him , so just go for it .

 

Interesting read, that first thread.

 

So you want to take him on a vacation to see if the passion is still there yet clearly from your first thread, he's an ass and doesn't deserve a trip a like that.

 

He's showing you who he is. He wanted you to move in because you can pay the bills and he can't. Don't think it was some grand gesture of love that got you in that house, it was him being a sneak that got you there.

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Im waiting for February because we dont have much time together. I work 14-16 hours a day 6 days a week, and my one day off is usually the only couple time we have. Im working while he is asleep and half his day. Then I sleep until my next shift. Our one day together is usually when I cook a nice meal, we have some drinks and then I usually fall asleep to a movie. I have two weeks off in February and I want to do something nice for the both of us with that time as lately we have been improving as a couple, but the romance is still lacking.

 

I am in full control of my sex life. Sex isnt the problem. I am talking true romance, affection, closeness and bonding as man and woman, not as buddies.

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The first two threads are separate (and resolved) issues. My ex fiancee came when I was 19. Im soon to be 25 now and I assure you I am far from vulnerable. The issues from my first thread regarding the new guy have not only been discussed but we have been working on them (as all couples do. they work it out and save what they are able to) and moving forward now as a team. I would not put up money for a trip if I felt he was not progressing into someone Id be happy to go away with. I am only concerned about the trip working as planned, not his worthiness. Unfortunately I cannot delete that first thread and I dont want to. Maybe it could help someone else.

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Im waiting for February because we dont have much time together. I work 14-16 hours a day 6 days a week, and my one day off is usually the only couple time we have. Im working while he is asleep and half his day. Then I sleep until my next shift. Our one day together is usually when I cook a nice meal, we have some drinks and then I usually fall asleep to a movie. I have two weeks off in February and I want to do something nice for the both of us with that time as lately we have been improving as a couple, but the romance is still lacking.

 

I am in full control of my sex life. Sex isnt the problem. I am talking true romance, affection, closeness and bonding as man and woman, not as buddies.

 

well this

 

My plan for Valentines 2014 is to take a weekend trip to Niagra Falls as Valentines day lands on a Friday. I want to spend the weekend in a hotel suite, have dinner at Windows, spend an evening at the casino and end the trip with a helicopter tour of the Falls

 

is absolutely wonderful and so thoughtful . a perfect holiday

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The first two threads are separate (and resolved) issues. My ex fiancee came when I was 19. Im soon to be 25 now and I assure you I am far from vulnerable. The issues from my first thread regarding the new guy have not only been discussed but we have been working on them (as all couples do. they work it out and save what they are able to) and moving forward now as a team. I would not put up money for a trip if I felt he was not progressing into someone Id be happy to go away with. I am only concerned about the trip working as planned, not his worthiness. Unfortunately I cannot delete that first thread and I dont want to. Maybe it could help someone else.

 

Then perhaps you posted as someone else because I only see a thread there you talk about your current boyfriend and this was just 18 days ago when you made the thread.

 

Sorry if I seem to be a bit confused.

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Does it occur to you that maybe he is who he is and what you see is what you get? That perhaps whatever he did initially was just a temporary facade to get the girl so to speak, and now you are experience the real him. A guy who is not affectionate or romantic and not really interested in that.

 

I kind of agree with others, that maybe instead of cooking dinner for him after your 16 hour work days, you need to dress up and head out on a special evening out. Go out to a nice romantic restaurant, go see a show after, or whatever interests you. Do some romantic couple's things for a bit. Break away from the routine and see how that works out for you and if that does anything at all. One expensive trip won't really jolt anything if you just come back from it and fall back into the same routine.

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I think the large over the top production is not his sort of fare. Like last year, he wanted to get take out and stay in watching a movie. A big exorbitant trip...you'd be better off saving your very hard earned money!

 

You and him could still do the weekend getaway, if you both have some time where you'll be off, but it doesn't have to be diamond class fare to be romantic.

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