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I don't understand what I'm feeling for my friend


diayenne

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Firstly, I'm sorry if I made some grammar mistakes. I try to write as best as I can.

 

When I started studying I met a guy whom I started to like as a friend. We have completely different personalities, hobbies and views. It's even strange that we don't argue because of it. We're just living in "different worlds". This means I don't expect us to be together. But we also have some common interests and I really like to talk with him. Some time ago he had a crush on our friend and he wanted my advice what he should do. I don't love him but several times I had something like a crush (not anything big, it's way more complex) on him. It always ended when he told me about other girls or when I had a feeling that we just don't suit. He even tells me things that push me away from him but for not so long. It keeps coming back when I'm feeling lonely (it's related to my hormone levels) or when he's more nice to me than usual. I also like when he touches me (ordinary friendly touch, for example while greeting) and sometimes I'm attracted sexually to him. I know that I'm not his type because he once joked to me he likes different personalities in women and he also isn't my type. I just don't understand what I'm really feeling. Usually he's just a friend but there are times when I miss him and dream about him. He's first man that I treat as a real friend so I don't know how I would feel about other male friends. We're single, I don't love anybody. I'm afraid of relationships. My best female friend keeps telling me that we can be together in the future but I'm not sure if she's right because she doesn't know him personally. She just listens what I say about this situation. I'm confused what is really important to have a successful relationship. Some people say it's similar views and expectations, others say that opposites attract... I also am curious if a man can change his preferences to character features and looks. He told me that he wants stabilisation in relationship.

 

Maybe this sounds like I'm infatuated with him but it's because I now have this feeling of loneliness and I need some closeness. There are times when I don't feel anything special about him. Could you help me understand all of this? I'm really confused.

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Try NOT to rely too heavily on him. Do your best to remain just a 'friend'.

Like you said- could be hormone related. You feel that 'lonliness'... BUT- suggest you keep him ONLY as a friend, as you're already aware either of you have much connection otherwise.

Also, when things like this go astray ie) some 'feelings'.. then they persue those feelings upon a 'friend'. Things most often do not work out, then they end up losing what they had in that friendship as well as a broken relationship.

 

SO, if you really want to keep him around as your friend.. don't go there.

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