I need help, I miss my ex so much...Been 2 months of NC and I know she is dating

[Socklessmonkey]

I miss my ex so much. She went away to college and two weeks later dumped me. I went NC for 15 days and found out after 9 days of being broken up she was going out with this new guy. They are still together and I miss her so much and want her back. We were each other's first everything and I just dont understand how she could do this to me after being with me for 3 years. I just found some old pictures on my laptop and deleted them but now I want to message her so badly. I need some sort of guidance or something. A week after I found out about the new guy my friend told me she texted him saying she can't believe how much of an she was to me and he says these feelings will grow in time. Is this true at all? I feel really hopeless and depressed right now and would do anything to talk to her. Is it truly hopeless? Is this guy a rebound? GIGS? Has anyone else had to deal with this and are there any happy endings? Literally 3 hours before breaking up with me she was telling me I love you and that week I had no internet and when I finally got it back I saw she sent me a virtual bouquet of flowers saying I was the greatest thing that could ever come into her life... I just don't understand.

 

In the meantime I've been working out a few times a week, hid away everything she ever gave me, deleted all pictures with her, blocked her and her new bf so I couldn't accidentally see any new photos, lost twenty pounds from the exercise and lack of eating, I'm meeting new people and trying to move on but I'm still so much in love with her. I'd appreciate any more advice, speculations, or whatever could help

[NoIdea2013]

It's still early man, keep going, stay strong.

 

How old are you guys? If you were both moving on to college/uni then this is can happen with High School relationships, people go off in different directions

[Socklessmonkey]

Im 20 she is 18. But we've dealt with ldr before. She is Chinese and would go to China for all of Summer and during my first year of college I was always there for her despite the distance and I would always come home for her remaining HS dances. I was always faithful and dedicated cause I really cared about her and I didn't party, drink or any other activities that could make her feel bad on my own choice. Even a few days before breaking up she texted my mom saying how excited she was to be coming to my home for thanksgiving that year. All our mutual friends hate her now and sided with me but I guess that doesn't matter cause of all the new people she is meeting. She's even going by her given American name now instead of her Chinese name. It's like she is trying to replace everything and I don't know why.

[sharky988]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things -- so keep it up, stay away from Facebook and keep hitting the gym!

 

It sounds like she wanted to experience dating other people, which is pretty normal for people your age. We don't usually end up spending our entire lives with the first person we were seriously involved with. I know that doesn't make it hurt any less, but in time, you WILL start to feel better if you stick to No Contact and keep her blocked online.

 

I wouldn't really call it a *rebound* -- that would get your hopes up thinking this new relationship won't last. You really have no way of knowing what's going to happen with them, so it's best to keep the focus where it belongs: on YOU and YOUR life and YOUR healing.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

[Socklessmonkey]

Dating 9 days after though? I feel totally disrespected and hurt by this. We got to know each other a year before dating each other. She knew him for 2 weeks... I do hope for something but realistically how likely would that happen. I'd imagine if I got lucky they'd be together for at least half a year and then maybe she would have regretted her decision. I am the only one mourning the end of what always seemed to be an always happy relationship

 

Also, the new guy is Taiwanese and she always said she has hated the Taiwanese for their "elitist attitudes and disdain for mainland china" so why would she date someone from Taiwan when she has always been vocal about not liking them? Even my therapist was confused by all that she has done and is doing!

[amandathepanda]

It really hurts to think of someone we were once close to moving on. You are definitely doing all the right things although possibly torturing yourself with thoughts of her future, where she's at and her motivations for her actions which you can never possibly know. What about YOUR future? How do you want it to look? Concentrate on meeting new people and having new experiences...as I had tattooed on my wrist a few years ago "this too shall pass".

[Ms Darcy]

Probably some of her hate towards Taiwanese guys was fuelled by attraction.

 

Listen it is very early on in the healing process for you. She probably left you mentally a while ago. I would advise not obsessing about what she is doing. She is single. Focus on you.