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Shy or 'just not that into' me?


lucklou

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It's been a while since i posted on the forum, i know that everyone's advice is very helpful.

 

I need some advice on a man who i'm not sure is shy or just playing me.

 

We've known each other for 3 years or more, he's 5 years younger then me (i'm 30, he's 25) and i'm friends with his sister who's the same age as me.

 

I work weekends in a bar (nights) in the small town where he lives, since we've known each other he's tried to chat me up regularly over the years while i'm at work, about 8 months ago things started to change - i started to respond to his advances, things have progressed very slowly (which was fine with me) swapped numbers, started texting, gave him the occasional lift home, where he would invite me in but i would decline - on more then one occasion i wanted to but it was my 'time of the month' which i never actually told him, just told him his timing was wrong.

 

Now we are at the stage where a lot of people think something is going on between us and while we are very cosy (kissing and being affectionate) when we see each other (once a week or so) we still haven't slept together and he hasn't made any effort to see me outside of my working shifts, this is now starting to frustrate me a little as i don't know if his actions are just for show or if he is actually interested.

 

I know i can seem a little uninterested in him, but it's hard to give him my full attention while i'm working, which i have explained via text message.

 

I know that he hasn't been in many relationships (neither have i!) i think his last one ended before mine, over 3 years ago.

 

Many, MANY thanks for your wise words.

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Understand we men are not "mind" readers. Try talking to him, not over text but in person and away from work.

 

If this has been going on for so long then perhaps it's time that you explore how you feel. Obviously he is interested if not he wouldn't be sticking around for so long.

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Time to take the bull by the horns and say, "Are we just going to keep dancing around each other here at my workplace or are you going to ask me out on a date?" Problem solved one way or another since he'll either be delighted and relieved or he'll set you straight quick enough on not wanting more. With a shy guy sometimes a girl just has to (gently, sweetly but firmly) take the lead.

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Many thanks for your reply's!

 

Your right - i need to talk things through one way or another - suppose I'M the one who's frightened of rejection - ParisPaulette - he did ask me out a while ago and i was so shocked i told him i didn't want anything formal - to just go out and have a few drinks and enjoy the night - did he take that as rejection?? I know i can come accross as being very independent - which is not necessary a good thing!

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He might have trouble geting too close after such a long time away from a relationship and that put together with what may be percieved as mixed signals from you he might be scared to go further, Iagree with the others you ned to talk to him about it.

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Thanks for all of your comments - i was worried about sending mixed signals but it is hard to give him 100% when i am at work and that's the only time he see's me. I have tried to explain that to him - which he say's he understands - will have to wait and see what this weekend brings - i intend to see if this is actually going somewhere, will keep you posted!!

 

Thanks again to everyone who has commented x

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