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How long did it take you to get over ex you loved? Stories appreciated


Hopelessromant

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Hey, I've been posting a lot lately. I feel like I have so many thoughts. One minute I'm all about moving on and the next I wish I didn't have to.

 

I know it's healthier for me to stop obsessing on the outcome of all this and move forward with my life.

 

In the past it's taken me 5 months and 8 months to fully heal and be able to start a new relationship.

Ofcourse I was younger and even though I thought I was madly in love, I had reasons to get over it quickly. They weren't the kindest hearted and nicest guys.

 

Now that a break up happened that I didn't see coming, I honestly thought we were going to get married.. I'm afraid. It was easy for me to get over the past guys because one cheated and the other wasn't a nice person. But my recent ex is absolutely great. Our connection was very deep and close. Unexplainable. 2 months later and I still break down at the thought of us. I usually say I'll find better but I question that right now. I don't want it to take years of my life away to dwell on him and miss him and feel pain. I basically had no closure as it was a fast and random break up. I choose not to text him and keep my dignity (personal choice). I hope we will be given a second chance as much as I'm not waiting, I do hope.

 

I just want to know, have you ever been in that type of relationship? One you thought was the one? How long does it take to get over the person for you? Stories? Thoughts?

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2 months is pretty fresh, while it may take years to be completely heal, I mean zero feelings or emotion towards them, I think in a few months you will likely get to a point where you're ready to move forward and be open to the idea of seeing someone new. Gradually, any feelings for your ex will be forgotten.

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But my recent ex is absolutely great. Our connection was very deep and close.... I don't want it to take years of my life away to dwell on him and miss him and feel pain. I basically had no closure as it was a fast and random break up.

 

I am going through the exact same thing, I don't want it to take years either and we had the best connection. My ex was perfect

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Quite a few factors.

 

I believe we do not completely get over our ex by the time we are in another relationship.

We can end up not wanting to be in a relationship with them.

We end up being able to rationalize and understand wanting them back was insanity.

Still there is a part which wants them back at a time where they showed us love and compassion.

The want for the good moments of the past relationship eventually become buried if the new relationship is good enough or better than could be expected.

 

Another factor would be how many people are willing to be your partner.

Someone who rarely finds a partner will live with the memories of the ex longer than someone who can attract more potential partners.

Bad choice in future partner can also make a bad previous partner seem like they were good, bringing back memories again.

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If you truly loved them, it will take time.

 

With my first love, it took two years to get over him, with the second guy I fell in love with, it took nearly a year, and with my current guy I fell for, it's nearly 6 months ( I got with this guy when I wasn't completely over guy 2) and right now, I'm not over him yet. I don't fall in love with every guy I date, and it doesn't depend on length of relationship, more depth of emotional connection. And with every guy I have loved, I loved them in different ways and they represented different things to me. I learnt a lot from all three.

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1st bf took me 1 yr to get over him. Right now im completely revolted by him. When i think of him, my mind just goes ewww.. I dont know why. Lol.

 

Now on 2nd bf/break up. I think this will be a faster recovery. I just think about about all the bad things about him and why us wouldnt work in the long run.

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If you truly loved them, it will take time.

 

With my first love, it took two years to get over him, with the second guy I fell in love with, it took nearly a year, and with my current guy I fell for, it's nearly 6 months ( I got with this guy when I wasn't completely over guy 2) and right now, I'm not over him yet. I don't fall in love with every guy I date, and it doesn't depend on length of relationship, more depth of emotional connection. And with every guy I have loved, I loved them in different ways and they represented different things to me. I learnt a lot from all three.

 

It's been almost 9 months and deep inside I'm not completely over my ex. She was my first true love. I never really commited, took someone serious and gave my all to a girl but I know yeah yeah "first love" everyone says its always like that with the first love I know and understand but damn it's really hard. She broke up with me. I just had all the negative things/NO NOs that would destroy a relationship..I've regret it. I'm in the process of changing and making myself better. I made alot of progress. She's with her long time "bestfriend" they turned into lovers. It hurts ALOT. They're relationship is rushed. I just regret how I begged and pleaded her after she BU with me. I pushed her away to her bestfriend that don't deserve her. She told me she was NEVER gonna be more than friends with him lol but guess what? things change

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before my current BF, I was in one serious relationship (meaning we thought about our future together and we lived together)

it was my first SR and his first too (at least that's what he told me) and it lasted for 3 years

it took me 2 years to heal myself, but I think its because it ended in such a horror, he was abusive and drug-addicted, he was threatening me and the ones I loved after that and he still shows his nose in my life, thinking that I wont notice (last time it was several moths ago)

we broke up in 2010 for good, when these two years passed and I came back to my home country (was living abroad for these two years, which definitely helped me)

we were stupid enough (I think I was mostly stupid at that time) to start dating again, because we though well, in these two years we hadn't found somebody better for each other, so we gave it a shot. thanks god it lasted a couple of weeks only till I realized he hadn't changed really

after that second time it was a lot (and I mean A LOT) more easy for me to move on

because for these two years I was sure I will never love anybody like I loved him, and because it was all so dramatic, like a movie

but then I somehow saw that "we are meant to be" is very wrong and we are actually meant to never be together or even stay friends after all that horror

I am still suffering the consequences of that bad romance of my youth, experiencing physical verbal and emotional abuse at 18-19 wasn't my idea of how first love should be, but what can I do

it taught me a lot

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I'm on month 7.. out of a 5 yr relation. This one has been VERY difficult to 'let go'. I loved him fully. Never recall losing to this extent over a loss. Been very emotional like my world all fell apart.

Still on something for my depression/anxiety and in counselling.

 

To ME, I wanted this, with him.. forever.. but sadly didn't end up as so. Heartbreak can really take it's toll.

 

One day at a time... tc

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I believe that however long you are with someone it takes that amount of time to fully heal from them. I myself am going through a break up that i didn't see coming. Everything was perfect in my eyes and one day i came home to his things packed and him kissing me goodbye (at least i got a kiss and a hug i suppose)

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