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I broke up with her, she wanted me back, now she's dating someone else?


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1) You were, at the least, infatuated with someone else.


2) You broke things off with your GF in a very hurtful way.


3) Fair or not, her choice was to limit the time you had to go to her and in her eyes, the extra time it took for you to communicate with her was a deal breaker.


4) Trying to convince her after that point - probably had her mentally digging in her heels in defense mode, she doesn't want to be hurt again, and doesn't trust you not to do just that.


At this point, except as a learning experience, the why matters less than the "I. Am. Done." As far as she is concerned - and her opinion is the only one that counts at this point - things are beyond repair, salvage, or any kind of rehab.


Your only real option here is how you walk away, and the impression you give at this point. So pick yourself up and walk away with dignity. Take the lessons you learned the hard way to heart. Really think about how you became enraptured with this other girl to the point it threatened a loving relationship. See what the warning signs were inside yourself. Think on how you can avoid them in the future. And think about what may have triggered it - were you feeling too settled? Worried your relationship was "too serious?" Or just letting your mind wander a bit too far for sanity and safety?

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Thanks for coming about this with a proactive mindset first of all. I appreciate the constructive advice rather than bashing someone who appears to be "the typical up." The more and more I look at this the more and more I get the feeling that she's confused, hurt, pissed, and not really knowing how she feels. I know discontent is in there somewhere too. Frankly, she's probably just as confused as I am right now.


That being said, you are correct. The best and only thing to do right now is to stay "bowed out" she knows that I love her and deeply regret what's happened/ what I have created. Trying to convince her to come back right now is going to be like talking to a brick wall. Nothing I can say will be credited so as of now, my actions, not words should dictate how this will play out. And really, it's out of my hands now. I know she still cares etc or she wouldn't have given me the info about the job opportunity. But it probably wasn't an open invitation either. I guess this is the course of action now unless someone else has better advice. Thanks all for checking this out.

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Just because she cares enough to send job postings, doesn't mean she's coming back. You screwed up. You need to accept and admit it, and realize that more than likely you're not going to get this girl back. Accept the situation you created and do as you said, bow out, leave her alone.

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