Stories of ex's returning. Share! ( not for false hope )

[Hopelessromant]

my first ex left because of gigs. He came

Back about 5 months later but never gave me the I want you back speech. He wanted me to run after him. Heck no. . I was already over it and talking to someone else. It hurt a lot but I didn't text him or contact him in the meantime. He realized single life wasn't so amazing and came

Back. Two years later he contacted me again wanting to rekindle things. If I wanted to go back now, he'd take me back.

 

My second ex left me because he was the "once the honeymoon stage is done I'm done" type of guy. I should have known he couldn't hold a serious relationship. I saw him 3 years later and he texted me with my "mushy nickname" and started telling me how great I look. I'm assuming he thinks he can have his fun and then come back to the good girl when he's done. Not happening.

 

My recent ex and I were mature and in love. it was a whole new level of closeness. We had fights which caused us to hide the love with all the layers of anger and being fed up. This is recent so I haven't heard anything yet. But I do hope we get a second chance together. I know all our problems are fixable.

 

Remember to not lose your confidence. Looking back I have no idea why I mourned so much and thought they were too good for me. Most of us realize we deserve better later on. Share your stories!

[Crunknasty]

Read my déjà vu story...

[mhowe]

What is the point of sharing a "did they come back"...if not for false hope?

The statistics show many will come back, but a 2nd or 3rd attempt rarely ends in successful reconciliation. For the vast majority, it is a short lived redux of the same issues and another painful break up.

[Cheetarah]

Yes - After 3 years - and it went to the pooper once again. I think it was worse, even.

 

Inspiring, I know.

[Edmund Exley]

None of my ex's every returned. And I am thankful for that.

[NoIdea2013]

What is the point of sharing a "did they come back"...if not for false hope?

The statistics show many will come back, but a 2nd or 3rd attempt rarely ends in successful reconciliation. For the vast majority, it is a short lived redux of the same issues and another painful break up.

 

What's interesting about the OP is she is using examples of exes coming back to her who she didn't want to be with because she had moved on.

[Hopelessromant]

To show I was moved on and I was fine and them leaving wasn't the end if the world. I picked myself up. Some people feel comfort knowing that.

[QWit]

STOP LYING... If you have moved on, you would even care for such stories...This is for false hope.. If that is what you are seeking go to that "getting back together really does happen " thread (I think that is the title) in the "Getting Back Together " section of the site and start reading and consume yourself in false hope..

[Dcgent]

It sounded a bit more like you were bragging about them wanting you back - so maybe you needed to make yourself feel good.

 

In any case, I would think you don't need someone to come back to you to realize you don't need them. If someone left a relationship, there is a reason why. Giving it a second go is rarely successful and not worthy of the investment. Focus on the future.

[mhowe]

OP...you have another similar thread where you say your most recent ex was "the one" and you are hoping to reconcile??™ Mixed messages...

[Edmund Exley]

OP...you have another similar thread where you say your most recent ex was "the one" and you are hoping to reconcile??™ Mixed messages...

 

Also has one saying how she is using the Law of Attraction to get him back.

 

OP, I think you may really want to spend some time making peace with the fact that this relationship is over.

[Cheetarah]

Well jeez louise, OP. If you are looking for hope, it's ok to say so(just expect that most of the answers are going to redirect you towards radical acceptance and healing)!

 

I have "The Secret" DVD set laying around here from who knows who or where. I was going to donate - Is it worth having a peek first? As an aside, please and thank you(I promise I am not trying to get my ex back!).

[Hopelessromant]

Yea I also wrote that here too that I hope we do. But that doesn't mean I'm sitting and waiting

[Edmund Exley]

There's nothing wrong with hoping to reconcile with someone one day. It just shouldn't be the focus of your existence or something you put your life on hold waiting for and looking for ways to hasten.

[Hopelessromant]

And why do you comment if you're just going to be negative and rude? My previous thread was to help out those who may be feeling helpless about their situation. And that shouldn't even matter. Whether I'm desperate for hope or not shouldn't matter to you. Everyone here is going through some sort of pain so you're rude comments don't really help. Before you speak, try thinking what the person is going through. Try thinking the last thing that person might need is someone calling them a liar and all that. I don't care what you think to be honest. If my past stories make me feel better because it shows me I can move on and yea it makes me feel better when tey regret it because I know I meant something, then it's not your business. I have no false hope. Every situation is different so I'm not living off of people's stories. Relax. And next time you are hurting, I hope people treat you better then you treated me.

[Hopelessromant]

Thank you. I love that and I am trying to live by that.

[Hopelessromant]

Yes! It helps with all aspects of life! Look at it! It will empower you!

[Cheetarah]

Oh op, I was teasing with the not getting my ex back comment. I apologize if that was offensive to you.

 

I will have a gander at that DVD, thanks

[Hopelessromant]

Don't worry you weren't mean like some people here sheesh. I signed up for support but I guess some people don't realize we're all sensitive and hurting. But yes it helped me. Enjoy!!

[ParisPaulette]

Yes, most of my exes came back around. I think sometimes it's easy to forget the bad and remember only the good and if paths cross nostalgia can (bleep) with one's perceptions. However these people are exes for a reason. I never took any of them back except the last one, him I took back six times in as many years and boy was that a mistake. Lesson learned: when someone treats you badly it's not your fault except in the area of if you keep letting them back into your life to treat you badly some more. Oh and that the way they treat you the first time you break up is usually how they'll treat you through the next rounds unless they were fairly sane to begin with and/or had some major spiritual/life growth or epiphany.

 

That's not to say it never works out with an ex coming back into your life, I think there's even a regular ENAer or two on here that has had it successfully happen. But those are the exceptions to the rule and generally I think it only works with the sane ones, NOT the cheaters and liars or those who blow hot and cold as a general pattern of behavior.

[mhowe]

I have threads but don't add to the stories because I was flooded with PM's questioning how I got my ex back...and know that I am one of the exceptions to the rule. It can happen. It just usually does not.

[Edmund Exley]

If you are referring to me, there was no intent to be rude.

 

Im sorry if reality is harsh to read. I'm only commenting based on years of experience on this board.

 

I hope you find what you seek

[Hopelessromant]

No it wasn't for you, one of the posters wrote I was a liar and all that. I appreciate your feedback

[Mesemene]

Yup.

 

However - the "coming back" was wishy washy and insulting, in so many ways.

 

First ex. He never had time for plans we would make, would cancel at the last minute, forget we had planned something and be out with the guys.

 

As soon as I dumped him on his pointy head, he appeared at all my hangouts like magic. Yep, this same guy who never had time and didn't want to come out with my friends and I - all of a sudden I was tripping over him everywhere I went. At first I started to feel all "aww... he did love me!" And within about 2 weeks, it changed to "and just how do you have time now when you didn't for the last two freaking years??" Bah!

 

Second ex, similar. Well, he cheated on me, but our relationship had been eroding before that. He expected me to remember him on every holiday and birthday - but always "forgot" when it came to me. Fifteen years later... he sends me separation papers. Then within a week, I'm getting flowers, cards, you name it.

 

I got a single bunch of flowers from a convenience store in 15 years of marriage.

 

He alternated between showering me and berating me - which got us a fast trip to divorce court. I'm sorry, but threats alternating with gifts don't do much for me after many years of neglect.

[mandy86]

If my past stories make me feel better because it shows me I can move on and yea it makes me feel better when tey regret it because I know I meant something,

 

If thinking that way helps you to heal after the break up, then I don't see how it is a bad thing. Do what makes you feel better no matter what it is. Your situation is unique and no one knows it better than you do. Every couple / person is different, what may work for one may not necessarily work for another.