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Back together, but not the same. I need advice!


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My girlfriend and I started dating our junior year of highschool. I was her first real boyfriend and literally everything else. After highschool she went to college and I pursued a good paying job. We went very strong for the first three years of her college experience, and then it happened.

About three months ago she broke up with me for reasons such as me being her first and everything like that. It destroyed my entire world. We were very much in love and very best friends One thing we did fail at though was NC, which was mostly my fault I will admit, but she is also guilty of calling me drunk even when out at parties. We were both feeling empty and we got back together, although I wouldnt be completely honest if I didn't say I may have pressured her into it somewhat, but I mean if she didnt want to get back together she really wouldn't have right?

Anyway, this brings us to the present. We've have been back together now for over two months and things just aren't the same. She doesn't always seem as interested when it comes to texting and things, but when we're together its a conpletely different story. Maybe its just all in my head, I don't know, but this girl seriously means the world to me. She has even said within the past week that she is feeling better about us now than she has in awhile, but to me she is still failing to really show it. Maybe I am just Insecure, ok yes I know that I am insecure, but I just feel like the spark that was there isn't quite there yet, but on the other hand sometimes it is. Its really hard to explain. I'm juat constantly worried about us and it never goes away unless we're together because that's the only time things actually feel in place.

I've been told I'm a great boyfriend and I'm pretty sure her friends all like me pretty well. They've even told her that they have seen anyone more in love. I'm just so torn I've even thought of calling it off just to re-attempt nc, but it might not really be necessary. I'm just looking for some advice or any kind, but let me down easy if you must. This girl is my whole world and the thought of losing her makes me sick. Help pleasee

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I can relate to that feeling of being constantly "worried" in a relationship and I would say it's your instinct telling you that you are not safe emotionally with this girl. I think as the above poster said she wanted a taste of the grass on the other side and discovered its not all its cracked up to be and so she came back to you for some security. As shes developed emotional distance now she will find it easier to go next time and you need to look after yourself.

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You wanted her back because you missed her. That's normal and many do it. Doesn't always mean it's for the best though.

She probably wanted to break away so she can persue other interest's as you're both young and at that age in life, where there's so many options and things to try & do.

Maybe she feels she needs to go for her own 'freedom' for a while and live it up? This seems to be the norm for this age.


You may not feel the spark back yet.. and maybe you won't. She may seem a bit different this time around and so it be.

She probably missed you too, yes. But that won't change all of her thoughts/idea's she had in her head- reasons she broke it off the first time.

So- i guess with this fact, the texting isn't the same.. cause her mind isn't running the same course any more. Soon enough, I wonder if she may again walk away, saying it's not what she wants?


IF you're considering walking away and going nc.. for what reason? To try this again in 3 mos? Don't do it this way.

Although you 'miss her' etc- which is normal. It is not going to change her perspectives on life.

Things will most likely keep downgrading now, all going back to the original break up.


If you go there. do not attempt in playing mind games. Make up your mind. ...

>> You missed her.. wanted her back.. things feel a bit 'different' now.. and if YOU should call it off.. because of?


Be careful here.. Love hurts too.


I suggest you both back off a good while, let her go live her life. See how things are between you, much further down the road.

Work on YOUR healing and NC will help here. It'll not be easy, but less the better.

gd luck

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The reason why she accepted to come back with you its because she still thinks about you as you know its hard to forget someone you have ever truly loved though after breakup and coming back together, things cannot automatically just become like they where before. This time it needs all your skills and patience but the fact that you feel insecure just makes the matter worse. I think you should not take her as old your girlfriend but someone you just got into relationship with where you can do everything to show her how determined you are to make happy etc.

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