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She wasnt right for me, but I miss her so much


OneGalGuy

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My now ex-girlfriend and I just ended our relationship. To be more specific, she ended it based on compatibility and long term issues. We each had our own set of beliefs and although I never pushed her to try to change, my stubborness and unwillingness to change to hers drove her away. I found this a little selfish, but other than that we got along so well and even though we didnt have the longest relationship, I really did love her a ton. She was the most beautiful girl Ive ever dated by far and even 8 months into the relationship, I would still find myself just staring at her, not believing that someone that stunning could be mine. Until it ended and now Im sitting here wondering what happened. Looking forward, I am almost certain that our differing beliefs would have caused some problems, but that doesnt stop me from missing her presence. These problems would have probably been big problems, but a part of me keeps thinking that Im an idiot if I let her go and dont try to work things out but at the same time. However, the possibility of breaking up in the future when were even closer and more time has been put into the relationship scares me. I spent a lot of time with her and I cant stop seeing her face in my head and it bothers me that she probably isnt doing the same. I know that if I give it time, it will get better, but that time doesnt pass quickly. I guess my question is, I am fairly certain she wasnt right for me, but I just cant get the thought out of my head that theres the slim chance she WAS the one for me. What do i do?

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It'll take some time... you're in 'mourning'. You have such a thing for her, it''s painful that she's gone now.

You miss her and that's normal. Yes, i'm sure she's thinking of you too...

 

Just doesn't always work out, sadly. But your mind will come clearer in cpl months. You will get over this, will just take a bit.

Try going out with friends, eat well, exercise.. in time it'll ease off.

 

Loss isn't easy on anyone.

tc

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You keep moving forward. In order for a relationship to be sustainable, common beliefs, values and view points are necessary.

Neither person should have to change any of those in order to be with someone.

Cherish what you had --- and enjoy the memories, but look to the future and find someone w/ more compatable views.

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Which is more important to you, your beliefs or how she made you feel? Your initial thought was to hold to your beliefs so you did and you lost a beautiful girl for it. Sometimes you have to stick with your decision and thats what you decided. But just to play devils advocate, what if you met a girl with your matching beliefs but you were not happy?

The only thing that bothered me was that you thought for her, you decided for her that your views were too great to live a lifetime of happiness. You never really specified how great or what kind of views these were but you thought that it was too great for you to be with someone who could of potentially giving you a lifetime of happiness.

I guess in one way you should be commended for your actions. You stuck with your beliefs, but dont back down now. You decided and you have to live wit it. Dont look back and wonder what if. You let her go and someone else is going to be a lucky man to be with this beautiful woman and this guy is going to wonder how you let her go. No Im not being sarcastic, but dont look back... if you believed what you did was right because of your beliefs, then act like you did the right thing. I hope you meet someone who shares your views with someone that can make you as happy or happier.

Many moons ago, I dated a girl who was so beautiful, and was constantly asked to be in magazines because of her looks. And she was a great girl, and would of made a great wife, problem was she wouldnt make a great wife for me. So after some soul searching I let her go. She has since gotten married and had kids and still looks great. But I am happy to know that I did the right thing. If we would of gotten married we would of probably gotten divorced, but instead she is happy and Im happy for her.

Point is, if you feel this strongly, then settle in your mind you did the right thing...good luck in finding someone who matches your beliefs

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