She doesn't like me, right? 1st date...

[t510]

Hi could really use some advice...

 

So I went out a girl to a restaurant for a first date. It seemed like she had fun but from I could tell she definitely wasn't into me. I even mentioned oh well we could do ___ sometime and she kind of brushed it off. Then after the date she said It was nice but got out of there really quickly - no kiss. I thought forsure it was going nowhere so I said hey why not just see - so I sent her a text saying thanks for dinner and I asked if she was interested in going out again. She replied "thanks! sure : ) have a good week"

Now it's been two weeks ...she never initiates contact ... I've texted the past two weekends. First weekend just said hi how was your week... it took her alittle while to respond. next week I wrote again and she wrote the next morning saying she was so sorry she forgot to write back and asked how i was etc. The next day I asked what shes doing today and she said "i got called into work : ("

 

So I'm pretty sure she's not interested : (. Any advice? I am going out with other girls but I did like this one... I probably won't text her for a week or so because I'm pretty busy..

[NorthDallas40]

Jesus H. Christ... stop the texting and CALL HER TO ASK HER OUT ALREADY.

 

You've probably already blown it by not doing it a couple of days after your date, but do it now and you'll have your answer.

[t510]

Why though? I mean she's very busy... and I don't want to put undue pressure on her. Personally I hate setting plans and I think so does she... What is wrong with day of

[kaoticbaby]

I disagree with NorthDallas (sorry!) If I can be brutally honest, it sounds to me like she is not interested and was just being nice. Focus on the other girls or, if you know you're not into them, drop it and look elsewhere.

 

Of course, there's no harm in trying one last time. I won't dissuade you from that since I don't know her. Call her next time though, try to hash out her tone of voice (much easier than texts.)

 

But if it doesn't seem promising, it's unfortunately time to move on.

[t510]

why would keep texting back then? I mean...?

And she said during the date... "are girls always asking you out"

[kaoticbaby]

why would keep texting back then? I mean...?

And she said during the date... "are girls always asking you out"

 

Again, I don't know the girl. She might have her own methods of dating.

 

I can only speak from experience, and from my experience I would text you back (after hours, like she does) because I feel bad, I don't want to seem rude, or I want to keep my options on the table in case I get bored. If I liked you I would text you back right away.

 

I'm really not trying to be rude, and I'm only telling you this from my point of view. I can be wrong. But if you want honest advice, I don't think she is into you.

[NorthDallas40]

I don't want to put undue pressure on her.

 

Wow - since when is a phone call "undue pressure"?! If she can't take the stress, strain and sheer terror of hearing her cell ring, she can always dump you into voicemail. At that point, you don't have to ever call ever again until she does first.

 

Personally I hate setting plans and I think so does she

 

Regardless of this girl, you need to get out of that mindset. It's spineless, inconsiderate and apathetic. Once the girl agrees to a date, ALWAYS have a plan for it. It ensures that she keeps to a schedule, and shows that you've got the initiative and imagination to come up with something fun just for HER. Even if she doesn't want to do it, she'll always remember "that guy was actually pretty good with coming up with cool things to do."

 

Otherwise you're just mumbling "uhh I dunno, what do YOU wanna do... I don't care, whatever.." and all she'll remember is that you were just like every other chump who made HER plan everything herself. No bueno.

 

Step up! If not with this girl, then with the next. You'll get results.

[marshmallito]

^^^ this is great advice.

Its really difficult to show enthusiasm for a date when there is nothing planned.

[valerie25]

If you hate setting plans, it will be very hard for you to be successful with women. Sure, you will find some girls who will want to be leaders but then they will get tired of it at some point, dump you and you will be shocked why. If you are interested, call and make plans. If she likes you, she will go out with you. Texting here and there, waiting is not really "attractive".

[Ms Darcy]

She is clearly not interested.

 

In general I think most women would be uninterested in a guy who does not call or plan things.

 

Anyways leave this one alone.

[greta96]

She doesn't sound interested, and I say this because if one is interested in somebody, one never forgets to reply.

It sounds to me like she's being polite, she probably did like you as a person/friend, so she doesn't want to be rude and hurt your feelings, but she didn't feel any chemistry.

 

I don't think the texting vs calling made any difference. Some people (myself included) HATE talking on the phone, especially with people I don't know quite well. I'd much rather be asked out over text, at least until I become comfortable with the guy and have stuff to actually talk about.

 

Don't contact her anymore; if she does, then great, if not, it only means you guys were not a good match romantically.

[t510]

Ok... I mean I sometimes don't reply if I've had a really long day... and she wrote back first thing the next morning.

Also to be honest I haven't really been giving her too much to work with... just a couple text msgs saying hi how are you? and then one asking what she is doing that day...

[mhowe]

There is so little interest and enthusiasm on both of your parts I would just drop it.

[Di84]

Ok... I mean I sometimes don't reply if I've had a really long day... and she wrote back first thing the next morning.

Also to be honest I haven't really been giving her too much to work with... just a couple text msgs saying hi how are you? and then one asking what she is doing that day...

 

I think you are not being honest with yourself here. You even said it yourself that you feel like maybe she is not interested. I am sure your gut is telling you that as well.

 

Look, you went on one date with her and she probably didn't feel a romantic connection (this is part of dating!!!). You tried to text her twice already and she answered you but it seems she is answering you to be nice. Two weeks have past and she hasn't initiated contact with you? She is not interested. If a girl was interested, trust me, there would be contact.

 

I would not text her again. You tried twice and that's enough. Let her come to you now and if she doesn't, who cares? You will meet other girls to date But definitely, do not reach out again.

[Sportster2005]

She is showing signs of disinterest, not interest. Your call on this is the correct one. She is not interested. Hold out for someone that reciprocates your interest and makes a real effort. Don't waste time with the tire kickers.

[IAmFCA]

She has nothing to be interested in. You said Maybe we can do something, and then you never followed up. Figure out what night you want, research music or events for that night, then call her and ask, Would you like to join me Thursday to see xxxx? If she says no, let it go unless she really does just have a schedule conflict.