Why do all women ignore nice quiet guys like myself?

[nicequietguy]

Don't give up, you haven't met and gotten to know ALL women yet. Be friendly and kind to ALL of them, gradually get to know them, find out about their personalities and interests, share some of yourself, more than your shyness and manners so that they'll know you are interested. Be careful that you are not coming accross as disinterested if you are very very quiet, or judging/condescending if you are overly polite. I'm not saying you are, but sometimes shyness can be misinterpreted as arrogance or reclusiveness or snobbery or anger, etc. Quietness and politeness can creat a wall that other people may not know how to get past. You have to open the door, keep it open, and have a welcome sign.

 

Well if being polite, reserved and quiet is frowned upon and a hindrance to achieving success with women but being a loudmouth and cocky idiot isn't it shows there is something very wrong with not only women but the society we live in!

[Seraphim]

I just asked my husband if he " settled" for me. LOL

[pippy longstocking]

Well if being polite, reserved and quiet is frowned upon and a hindrance to achieving success with women but being a loudmouth and cocky idiot isn't it shows there is something very wrong with not only women but the society we live in!

 

do you know what mate ...that reply you just gave journeynow is horrible , she is a gentle kind lady who gave you a well thought out kind reply , and that has pissed me off .....THIS is why you are struggling mate ,.....it aint us

[Moontiger]

Sure, Ignore the rest of my post! Only reply to stuff that suit your self-pity, angry mind-set.

 

This is what people like this do. You see it with women who don't understand why its not acceptable to call their BF 30 times a day. People like this only take in the information they want, whatever supports their narrow view on the world.

 

For example, I pointed out that he is demanding that women lower their standards instead of improving himself he brushed it aside by saying people are being "hysterical" (I believe was the word). He is asking women to notice him just because he is there. To expend time and energy he is unwilling to expend. that is hypocritical and entitled.

[Seraphim]

do you know what mate ...that reply you just gave journeynow is horrible , she is a gentle kind lady who gave you a well thought out kind reply , and that has pissed me off .....THIS is why you are struggling mate ,.....it aint us

 

Yes. She is a very sweet woman who was actually giving him sympathy.

 

 

But the temper tantrum that's happening is probably best not responded to. It just feeds into the tantrum.

[nicequietguy]

do you know what mate ...that reply you just gave journeynow is horrible , she is a gentle kind lady who gave you a well thought out kind reply , and that has pissed me off .....THIS is why you are struggling mate ,.....it aint us

 

I was just giving my perspective which has been shaped by experiences of what I've seen around me nothing more any horribleness you attribute to it is of your own making.

[BrianH46]

Man I have Bac degree from a prestigious university, maintained a high gpa, am nice and polite. Why wont someone offer me a high paying job. Employers are less evolved and only give jobs to confident aplhas that actually applied for the job. I dont need to apply, they should offer me, this society is horrible.

[nicequietguy]

This is what people like this do. You see it with women who don't understand why its not acceptable to call their BF 30 times a day. People like this only take in the information they want, whatever supports their narrow view on the world.

 

For example, I pointed out that he is demanding that women lower their standards instead of improving himself he brushed it aside by saying people are being "hysterical" (I believe was the word). He is asking women to notice him just because he is there. To expend time and energy he is unwilling to expend. that is hypocritical and entitled.

 

You can bleat on about me having a narrow minded and limited outlook but until I actually see something to the contrary of everything I've stated (which I never have) I won't alter my views. And it wouldn't have took much for my views to have formed differently but I was never given that chance while other less deserving people were.

[dangletsbang]

My boyfriend is a quiet, polite, humble, sweet guy...his friends are the opposite. I was attracted to him even though he's 'nice'. I ignored other guys with other personalities because I was interested in him.

 

OP, you claim you're nice/polite/other positive things but your demeanor here on the board is heavy with sarcasm and disdain towards women. You might think you're being 'nice' to femlaes that you speak to in your life but people can probably read your attitude/body language which I'm assuming puts off the opposite effect.

[MyNinja]

Your generalizations and woe is me attitude towards the opposite sex is repugnant. Stop labeling things like "women" and making blanket statements. Stop saying things like "alpha males." Someone that can speak confidently to another person instantly puts them in your "alpha male" category?

 

I think you're delusional by calling yourself a "nice guy." Let's try something like a bitter self-loathing but I'll blame others kind of guy. You make these generalizations on your own experience, my advice would be you should work on yourself not pout about "women." Obviously you're the problem, not them.

 

 

Women don't ignore nice and quiet guys. Women (read: the ladies you seek attention from) are probably ignoring you because your viewpoints on male-to-female inter-relations are so off that it probably comes through in your demeanor, body language, and your voice.

 

Check your crap attitude, and maybe you won't get ignored quiet "nice" guy

 

Couldn't have said it better myself

[pippy longstocking]

I'm too stoned to care in all honesty , it's just there's nothing on the tv

[Moontiger]

You can bleat on about me having a narrow minded and limited outlook but until I actually see something to the contrary of everything I've stated (which I never have) I won't alter my views. And it wouldn't have took much for my views to have formed differently but I was never given that chance while other less deserving people were.

 

Why are you owed a chance? Something my mom told me when I was 12: "The world owes you nothing." Why do you deserve a chance to work a hospital if you refuse to go to medical school? Why does any woman owe you the time of day? The things your use as evidence about yourself, being "nice", "kind" etc are all standard issue in the dating world. You have the problem that many people in generation Y have, explained very well here: link removed

 

If you want to be happy get off the computer and go do something about it. Learn to paint or play the sax, go rock climbing, join a charity and do volunteer work. If life is working out for you and your are happy then keep sitting at the computer and blame others for your problems. If you are unhappy open your mind to what the woman here are trying to tell you.

 

Why should I, as a woman, give you the time of day when you won't give it me? Why should I turn down that guy who talk to me just to take a shot in the dark with some dude quietly sitting in the corner?

 

I have a hard time believing you only know alpha-males and have never seen a non-alpha male get a date.

[Moontiger]

Man I have Bac degree from a prestigious university, maintained a high gpa, am nice and polite. Why wont someone offer me a high paying job. Employers are less evolved and only give jobs to confident aplhas that actually applied for the job. I dont need to apply, they should offer me, this society is horrible.

 

Ha, yup. this 100%

[pippy longstocking]

You can bleat on about me having a narrow minded and limited outlook but until I actually see something to the contrary of everything I've stated (which I never have) I won't alter my views. And it wouldn't have took much for my views to have formed differently but I was never given that chance while other less deserving people were.

 

but you are here with a million pages of both sexes , all ages , different countries , different cultures , all prepared to talk about it, to reassure you not all women are as you have experienced ...yet it has turned into this ...that can't be all our faults hey ..there are very kind people on this site who are willing to talk .

[nicequietguy]

My boyfriend is a quiet, polite, humble, sweet guy...his friends are the opposite. I was attracted to him even though he's 'nice'. I ignored other guys with other personalities because I was interested in him.

 

OP, you claim you're nice/polite/other positive things but your demeanor here on the board is heavy with sarcasm and disdain towards women. You might think you're being 'nice' to femlaes that you speak to in your life but people can probably read your attitude/body language which I'm assuming puts off the opposite effect.

 

Just to let you know I'm not going to reply to worthless posts from females here especially the 'my husband/partner is one of the nice guys' line. Although you say it's my body language which would give me away as not being a nice and polite person which typifies the sort of way women justify ignoring genuine polite and quiet guys like me while they go off with the confident guys.

[Moontiger]

Just to let you know I'm not going to reply to worthless posts from females here especially the 'my husband/partner is one of the nice guys' line. Although you say it's my body language which would give me away as not being a nice and polite person which typifies the sort of way women justify ignoring genuine polite and quiet guys like me while they go off with the confident guys.

 

I see, so not only are all women shallow/evil but we have all conspired to lie to you about our personal lives. Interesting.

[nicequietguy]

I'm too stoned to care in all honesty , it's just there's nothing on the tv

 

That's the typical sort of smug comment I would expect. Also do you think you're being clever and edgy by saying that reeks of middle class apathy.

[Seraphim]

Probably time to close this thread . It is just like every other gender hatred thread. And the OP doesn't want to learn anything he just wants to spout hatred.

[pippy longstocking]

...and how long have you had a career as a troll ?

[Moontiger]

Probably time to close this thread . It is just like every other gender hatred thread. And the OP doesn't want to learn anything he just wants to spout hatred.

 

I think your right Vic. Every man and woman here has tried to help him, offered advice, solutions, personal stories, etc. I just hope the OP takes my advice from my first post in the thread and seeks therapy.

[pippy longstocking]

That's the typical sort of smug comment I would expect. Also do you think you're being clever and edgy by saying that reeks of middle class apathy.

 

I am warming up to you .... you're fabulous

[nicequietguy]

Well I don't need your lecturing thanks but it's interesting you call me narrow minded when you're own cynicism betrays you. I think everyone deserves a chance and should be entitled to something. Which only proves it is you who are limited and narrow minded and me who is the idealist (albeit frustrated).

[Batya33]

I think you're confusing cockiness for confidence and passive for "nice".

[mhowe]

This is from a previous post.

 

I think I'm a nice guy because in 'real life' I'm polite (over polite actually), quietly spoken, passive, humble and retiring

 

On top of that I could mention other things I've done in my life which I think qualifies me as a nice person such as treating people with respect even those who couldn't afford me the same courtesy. There are other things as well. It doesn't matter women only notice confident men you could be a saint and women wouldn't be attracted to you unless you were confident and self assured and knew how to carry a conversation and all that worthless s*** women insist men should be like.

 

Wow, you can't even carry on a conversation?

So....I am supposed to notice you are a nice polite person and then try and maintain an interesting monologue with you...as you nod. Politely I am sure.

[bulletproof]

But plenty of women seen to enter into relationships to fix the 'bad boy' scumbags out of deluded notion they can change them or because such a piece of has actually shown you attention in the first place and you find these type of men 'exciting' and 'challenging' while a quiet and polite guy like me who lacks confidence is boring and needy.

 

Please don't use the word "you." You have no idea what *I* do or don't do. Like I said, I don't go into things looking to "fix" anyone or anything.

 

You never answered the question: how's the rest of your life going as a humble, passive, etc. guy? How's your career? Your social life? Does your refusal to change impact all parts of your life?