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I think I have an interesting case


Greenj30

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Hello LS I think I have an interesting case. I dated my now Ex-Girlfriend for 7 months. We broke up last Tuesday due to her having Ambivalent feelings and us not being able to progress but her reason for wanting to break up wasnt really clear. I initiated the break up(although I did'nt want to)and she agreed this was a strange break up because we ended up kissing for a long time. I Immediately went no contact for two days and I started to move on with my life. Well I was on Twitter and I saw that she tweeted " Wow..it's nice to see that you have moved on so fast." We then had a text conversation that went like this.Me: I Don't think you understand..Her: I'm not so sure you do either Well could you explain I would like too? hour later)Me: *Her name*??Her: I'm sorry im just not sure if I should say anything right now it's to emotional and to fresh.Me: okay I will give you your space when your ready to talk let me know.Her: It's just that I don't want to confuse your emotions or whatever.(Hours later I had talked with a friend of mine and gotten some great advice)Me: I just wanted to let you know lines of communication are openHer: Okay We should get coffee soon! Monday at 4?Me: Sure that works! Be safe walking home.(My phone died and when I got it back on I had 3 Messages)Her: I will Jacob(mutual friend) is giving me a ride home! I really don't wanna confuse your emotions or anything but It's just hard I'm so confused and I miss you!Her: I'm sorry I shouldn't of said anything..I replied to her telling her I miss her too. The next day I text her to reschedule coffee on monday in which she agreed to a later time. But then she said she wanted to talk in person the next morning and she said this.Her: "Ugh...I'm so conflicted I wanna call you babe and tell you I love you. But I feel like it's not the right thing too do. It sucks."Anyways to make a long story short we ended up kissing again afterwe had talked in the morning she pretty much said keep the door open for her and to wait for her but she understands if I can't. The next day I saw her at church because we go to the same church and after the service she Stared at me for a while and Isolated me and we had a good conversation. Later tat evening I get a text from her sayingHer: " The more I feel and the more I think about this the more confident I am that I can love you gently and right."Me: "Sorry for the late reply but I was trying to fix this garage. But that makes me glad "Im Glad too I truly care about you so I am taking this seriously!" then she had been initiating all if not 98% of contact with me and she has made a point to tell me that she sleeps with the Giraffe I bought her every night, and she is using pet names that she used when we were dating again.What do you all think of this? Am I being led on with bread crumbs? What course of action should I take?

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Yes --- she is keeping you around while she keeps looking for someone who she does NOT feel ambivalent about!!!

 

Everyone misses their ex. It would be weird not to --- they have been a part of your life.

 

What you are allowing is for her to wean herself off you. And she is playing it out nice and slow --- "I shouldn't say this", "I want to call you babe", "I don't want

to confuse you".....right, because saying you love me, miss me --- and don't want to be with me --- isn't confusing.

 

Shut the door. Don't answer the calls/texts.

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Yes --- she is keeping you around while she keeps looking for someone who she does NOT feel ambivalent about!!!

 

Everyone misses their ex. It would be weird not to --- they have been a part of your life.

 

What you are allowing is for her to wean herself off you. And she is playing it out nice and slow --- "I shouldn't say this", "I want to call you babe", "I don't want

to confuse you".....right, because saying you love me, miss me --- and don't want to be with me --- isn't confusing.

 

Shut the door. Don't answer the calls/texts.

 

 

Arebyou positive?? Why should she make the point to tell me that shes serious about this?

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To keep you around and confused.

 

Did I miss the part where she said "I made a mistake. What can I do to rebuild your trust. I want a future with you".

 

No --- she is couching all of this --- so when you fall for her she can say --- you misunderstood me. I just want to be friends.

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OP, what she is doing to you is the equivalent of "how to cook a frog".

 

You don't put the frog into boiling water--it will jump out. You put it in cold water in the pot, clamp on the lid and turn on the flame. It doesn't know it's being cooked until it's too late.

 

You're being cooked.

 

Go NC and don't ask her permission to do so. If she wants to be with you, then she needs to declare it and live by it. If she's talking about "being confused", then she's not serious about resuming your relationship.

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You guys ended it.. with agreement? She's just kissing up to you.. doesn't mean anything.

Time to give it some space.. take a REAL break. Tell her this.. that YOU want to take a break. Or why else did you two even bother to split up in the first place?

 

Here is what you said >> "We broke up last Tuesday due to her having Ambivalent feelings and us not being able to progress but her reason for wanting to break up wasnt really clear. I initiated the break up(although I did'nt want to)and she agreed this was a strange break up because we ended up kissing for a long time. I Immediately went no contact for two days and I started to move on with my life."

 

Now- Go BACK to that. Remember where this all began.. or You're both going to get really messed up.

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