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Ex-Broke NC again (!) - I feel bad for ignoring her. Should I respond...?


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Hi all,

 

Quick recap: My ex ended things in May 2012 (compatibility issues - amicable) I fought for her when it happened, but 2 weeks after the break-up, I went NC. I sent her a goodbye letter in July 2012, but that was it. No emails, texts, calls etc from me; I haven't spoken with and/or seen her in any capacity since June 8th 2012, except for one instance, which I'll get to in a minute.

 

Since July, she's contacted me regularly almost every month. At first, it was trivial stuff, but it become more personal. As well as sending me a birthday card and dropping off a christmas present to my house (I was out), her texts/emails have a distinctly more 'feeling' tone. In April, it got to the point where she was sending mixed signals, so I broke NC to request (politely) that she stop contacting me. I explained to her that I couldn't move on if she kept contacting me all the time etc.

 

She respected my request until a couple of days ago. A month ago, I broke my leg in a sports accident, and I got a text from her offering to come over and help me out (on account of the leg). I don't know how she found out (she's blocked on Facebook), but once again, she contacted me when I asked her not to.

 

I still miss her alot, and when she contacts me, it brings everything back. I haven't responded to her text, but I'm feeling bad now for ignoring her. After all, s he's a wonderful, good-hearted person, and I'm touched that she cares, but I feel that responding would invite further contact, and that wouldn't be good for me.

 

Am I out of order for ignoring her? Should I text her back and say thank you?

 

Any views appreciated!

 

Thanks a million.

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If she's capable of sending you a message offering to come to your house and help you on account of your broken leg....

 

.... then she's capable of sending a message that says "I made a mistake and want to get back together."

 

It's really that simple. She wants contact, but she doesn't want to get back together. Do you need to know ANYTHING else?

 

Ignore her. You've asked her to leave you alone, she's being selfish by ignoring your request.

 

And sorry about your leg!

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So you dont want her back? Or you just want her to be very clear to you that she wants you back?

 

I'd love us to get back together, but I doubt that's going to happen. Plus, we've been broken up now for 18 months, so it doesn't seem likely. If she contacted me and said she wanted to try again, then that's a different story.

 

Prior to April, she was sending all kinds of intimate texts/emails about how she was missing me etc. I had to tell her to stop as it was making it impossible for me to move on. It's really nice of her to offer to help, but she's not a stupid woman; she knows that getting in contact again will put her back in my mind.

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If she's capable of sending you a message offering to come to your house and help you on account of your broken leg....

 

.... then she's capable of sending a message that says "I made a mistake and want to get back together."

 

It's really that simple. She wants contact, but she doesn't want to get back together. Do you need to know ANYTHING else?

 

Ignore her. You've asked her to leave you alone, she's being selfish by ignoring your request.

 

And sorry about your leg!

 

Thanks Sharky Broken legs are a bit*h.

 

You're right - she is selfish by contacting me, especially when I've asked her repeatedly not to (and explained in detail why). It's just hard though when you still love the person, and they're offering to do something really nice for you (!)

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Just tell her in a firm response "what is it that you do not understand aboutI'm trying to move on and need time. If you really wanted to be there for me then you wouldn't have left to begin with. Now please for last time let me so I can move on 100%. " -maybe she might respond with "we'll wait...can we talk?" And mention that she is missin y'all as a couple or she'll say she understands. Then anytime you have contact from her in future then you know it's just for selfish reasons and you can ignore her without feeling bad. good luck with the broken leg!

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Don't reply.. and maybe she'll get the hint. Stop playing 'her game'.

"I miss you" is one of the oldest.. I've had the same thing... BUT he's NOT with me. Going on 7 mos now.

 

Like the others say.. Unless it's about getting back together.. don't bother with the 'breadcrumbs'.

Remember.. SHE broke up with you.. correct? (remind yourself of this). >> Let her miss you, the right way.

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honestly dude I've been NC for 2 months now, and I feel a lot better, but my BDAY is coming up and if she contacts me, I will probably cave in and reply... I'm still in love with her.

 

And maybe due to me sticking around here, I won't cave in, but... I'm pretty weak when it comes to stuff like this. All I know is I haven't initiated contact and neither has she and my mental health is really strong. But I still miss her.

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If she's capable of sending you a message offering to come to your house and help you on account of your broken leg....

 

.... then she's capable of sending a message that says "I made a mistake and want to get back together."

 

It's really that simple. She wants contact, but she doesn't want to get back together. Do you need to know ANYTHING else?

 

Ignore her. You've asked her to leave you alone, she's being selfish by ignoring your request.

 

And sorry about your leg!

 

Not as black and whit as you make it sound. That's kind of like putting yourself out there to be torn to shreds... It's not easy to admit you want someone back especially when you broke it off, and now the other is in a position to outright reject you. Thats a huge blow to anyone's pride regardless of what she did or didn't do in the past. But she obviously misses you.

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Not as black and whit as you make it sound. That's kind of like putting yourself out there to be torn to shreds... It's not easy to admit you want someone back especially when you broke it off, and now the other is in a position to outright reject you. Thats a huge blow to anyone's pride regardless of what she did or didn't do in the past. But she obviously misses you.

 

Yes, she definitely misses me, and she's told me that many times, and I miss her like mad. In April, I had to break NC to ask her to stop contacting me. She was sending mixed signals, and I said to her there was something else behind all her comments then we could talk about it. She said there wasn't, which to me says she's not interested in getting back together. When she said that, I asked her once again to please stop contacting me so I could move on. The fact that she's contacted me again now means that she's ignored me. It's really nice of her to care enough to offer to help, but the ultimately, she's ignored me yet again, knowing that I'm trying to move on. Still, I feel bad for not responding!

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honestly dude I've been NC for 2 months now, and I feel a lot better, but my BDAY is coming up and if she contacts me, I will probably cave in and reply... I'm still in love with her.

 

And maybe due to me sticking around here, I won't cave in, but... I'm pretty weak when it comes to stuff like this. All I know is I haven't initiated contact and neither has she and my mental health is really strong. But I still miss her.

 

Try and stay strong! My ex sent me birthday/Christmas cards and presents, plus texts, and it was so damn difficult to not respond, but I forced myself not too. Easier said than done though, I know. Hang in there bud.

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