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Very self conscious... Help!


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I'm a 24-year-old female and I'm incredibly self conscious about my body -- specifically my stomach. After going through a bad break up back in July, I dropped about 15 pounds in 2 weeks (totally unhealthy, I know, I just literally couldn't eat). 135 down to 120lbs.

 

I started getting all these compliments about how good I looked, but eventually I got my appetite back and now I'm guessing I'm around 128lbs or so.

 

Now when I look in the mirror, I am disappointed... I feel like my stomach is just disgusting. I know that 128 is a perfectly acceptable weight, but this douchey guy I was "seeing" a few weeks ago made some comment about my "less-than-perfect" body and how he has only dated tall, skinny girls (what a winner, right?). So, naturally, I'm all self conscious now.

 

So, I have a few questions:

 

1) Do I actually look bad? How would you describe my body? I am NOT fishing for compliments, I want complete honesty. I don't know where else to get honesty except from internet strangers. Naturally my friends say "you look fine!" and whatnot.

 

2) I'd like to flatten and tone my stomach, but I have no idea where to start exercise-wise. If someone could point me to workout routine or something... I need more info than "just do sit-ups", I need to know how many and how often. Does that make sense? I'd like to do some cardio as well...

 

I read the terms of this forum and I didn't see any rule against posting pictures, however, I didn't see anyone else posting any... So I'll give it a shot:

 

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Thanks in advance guys!

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I know where you're coming from. If you were lighter and put on weight, you notice the difference. But trust me, it's just you that sees this. Obviously, 128-135 is your ideal weight and you will have to fight hard to keep it below that. I weigh 130 pounds and would like to weigh 120. I can easily get down to 120, but then I have to exercise and eat like a bunny to stay there.

 

Ps. You look awesome. I have been put down in the past by a 'boyfriend' and these comments have lingered in my mind, they wont leave. But you know what? The guy that insulted me was very insecure himself and said it in a way that it could be mistaken as an innocent comment. The guy probably just felt insecure by your smashing body and felt the need to put you down to make himself better.

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Omg, seriously? There is NOTHING wrong with you, just because some 'guy' said that to you?

No.. YOU are fine! I have a bit of a 'pudge', especially after having 4 kids.. lol. But, still, I am not totally 'fit' either and yet, I've never had anyone go at me about that fact.

 

Look at it as this 'guy' is just OVERLY picky. I bet ya he isn't PERFECT! Proof> His comment to you! Yet, all is fine on you.

 

So- put whatever he said to you into garbage! Also.. IF a man ever wants to speak that way, to the effect of your appearance, on top of that, being an insult, there's proof, he is NOT the kind of man you want in your life!

 

All is good!

But, if you are wanting to exercise..for the abdomen, some sit ups will work on those muscles. Just search online for some exercises to do to tone down abdominal area.

 

tc

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Wow, you are really pretty and there is zero wrong with your body. You have a slender build and the only thing I see with your stomach is it doesn't have that "six-pack" look. That's a look that is easy to get, but don't overdo it. I personally think the whole "ropey, sinewy, we must look like men" thing is kind of unattractive on most women. You can quickly tone up what you have by doing yoga of all things. It really is the kickbutt exercise to end all exercises. Also go grab a set of kettlebells and download/and or purchase a DVD of how to use them. They work the midriff and other parts of the body like there's no tomorrow. I know because right now my stomach is a real mess--I'd kill to have yours BTW--and I've already shaved off an inch and firmed up in just a month. And I'm nearly 60, so results show up alot less quickly for me than they do at your age.

 

Also I'm guessing Mr. D-bag is either an abusive person to begin with--i.e. he runs down anyone he thinks he can control OR he got mad when you said no to him about something and so did the verbal equivalent of slapping you. He's a total loser who should've been thanking his lucky stars to have someone as pretty as you go out with him. Besides if he only dates skinny tall girls then why was he going out with you? The guy was lying through his teeth to make you feel bad on purpose, never trust what a liar says.

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Oh my goodness, you look hot.

 

Make yourself feel strong by doing whatever exercise you enjoy, whether it be roller-blading with friends, kickboxing with a video at home, pilates in a gym, long bike rides... whatever makes you happy. You already look great. So just get outside and do whatever will make you FEEL great. make sure it is hard enough to challenge you, and brings you in contact with others who will give you high-fives every time you see each other. Its the little things.

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1) Do I actually look bad?

 

Hell no.

 

How would you describe my body?

 

Well above average. I had to think for a moment what to say without getting into any trouble....your body is nice!

 

Naturally my friends say "you look fine!" and whatnot.

 

Friends can have a bad habit of telling you what you want to hear (or what they think you want to hear), but ya, you look great.

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Man, you remind me of myself at that age. Killer bod and it still isn't good enough in your eyes. You see a stomach when what you are missing is a that you are gorgeous. And there is no stomach to be worrying about!!

 

Douchey guy?!! That is an understatement!! Any man worth anything will never, ever make a negative comment about your body. There simply is never a reason to talk like that to anybody. I never had an experience with a man talking crap about my body, my over perfectionistic tendencies were the root of my being so hard on myself.

 

Take those pics down. Whether or not you admit it, you are seeking validation from the outside.

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Well you guys have definitely made me feel better...

 

itsallgrand, I do realize I'm seeking validation, which is awful... I never used to be this way until my break up -- we were together for 5 1/2 years, engaged for 2 1/2, lived together, had a wedding planned, etc.. He just decided to leave me without explanation in July and he refuses to speak to me or even explain why he left. I've heard from other people that he and his new pregnant girlfriend and doing FANTASTIC. So, although I know I should not worry about what guys think of me, it's hard right now, and I admit I'm insecure. =/

 

BTW, I am no longer seeing that guy that made the comment about my body (it was never serious anyway).

 

I'll take the pictures down now.

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