I can't take it anymore

[J86]

I never thought being this heart broken existed...and to put salt in the wound he's with another girl and flaunting it more than he ever did with me, I know I should delete him off Of Facebook but I am still in shock and he treats her amazingly, it's only been a month, I'm not sure what to do I can't take the pain it is so unbearable I'm not sure why I am even posting this I need him to be mine again

[kalikat]

I understand how you feel. At one point in my life I had a breakup that was so devastating, and the pain was so deep, that I couldn't function. I slept on my couch for almost 3 months. Didn't leave the house. Rarely showered. Ate nothing but peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, cuz I didn't want to go to the store.

And one day it just kind of hit me: I was the only person that could fix the "funk". Yes, absolutely, the faster you remove him from facebook the faster you will begin to heal. You do not want him to be yours. Reading thru your other posts, it sounds like he was seeing that other girl before you two "officially" broke up. That is the more likely reason that he suddenly became distant. Not cuz you were pushing too hard.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss. But also remember what a wonderful person you are, and make a conscious choice to move forward. Learn from the experience, but delete him from your life. He has moved on. You need to do the same. Trust me, the sooner you do, the sooner the pain will start going away.

[J86]

I know and in a way understand this but a part of me feels that I wasn't available to him, I was constantly worried that he would leave and he did I can't get over the thought that he maybe could of been the one but I let my insecurities take over the guilt is the worst part, maybe if I had acted like she did and just went in full force and initiated full force it would have been different but he said he wanted to take it slow so I took that as waiting for him to decide

[bw92116]

Don’t feel guilty; you did nothing wrong. Instead, process the pain out of you and focus on your own healing. You have an emotional injury and you need to heal from it. Cry it out as much and as many times as you need to. You will gradually get better.

Here are articles and information that can help you get through this:

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Also, continue to post on this forum as often as you need to.

[sharky988]

^^^ Those links are great!

 

Also, you MUST block him from Facebook. You're not going to recover until you do. It's been proven that stalking your ex on Facebook prevents people from moving on. Read this article:

 

If he was "the One", he wouldn't have broken up with you no matter what. You need to keep telling yourself that until it starts to sink in.... The One won't break your heart, he won't leave you, and he won't be posting his new girlfriend all over Facebook like an idiot the minute you two break up!

 

Good luck and keep posting.

[Kendahke]

I never thought being this heart broken existed...and to put salt in the wound he's with another girl and flaunting it more than he ever did with me, I know I should delete him off Of Facebook but...

 

But, nothing--- delete AND block him on all social media. You're torturing yourself for no good reason.

 

The only way he's going to be yours again is when he comes to you, apologizes and asks for you to take him back. That doesn't sound like it's going to be happening soon. Short of it happening, your best course of action is to stop hurting yourself on purpose by stalking him on social media.

 

The pain is unbearable because you keep going back and pouring acid in the same wound over and over again.

[Iwouldbetheone]

I can relate to this post because I recently saw a photo of my ex on Facebook with a new woman. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I wanted to die. That said, the three points below are what I have done/am doing now and I feel loads better.

 

1) Please, please, please DELETE him. Not only did I delete him, I deleted and deactivated my entire account. Removed all friends, pages, etc. My Facebook page wasn't that important. I'm in touch with my friends, it's not like I'll never see them again because I don't have a Facebook account anymore. You are causing yourself agony by following his daily activities. I can't tell you how much better I feel being completely disconnected from him.

 

2) There is no need to think about I should haves, If only I had been, etc. If he had been the right person, he would have stayed around. Full stop. If the relationship was supposed to work out, it would have.

 

3) I have gone into 100% self-reflection mode. Anytime a thought of him enters into my mind, I replace it with a more positive, happy thought. I have started to ask myself questions like, what are my values, what are my strengths, what are my life objectives, what would be my dreams if I didn't have any limitations, etc. Write them down in a journal, type them out on the computer. Get to really know yourself and what you really want. Once you start living out your values, following your passions and convictions, you start attracting all kinds of good things (including people) into your life.

 

Best of luck. I know how you feel. But we need to focus on ourselves now.

[J86]

Thanks for all the advice and kind words honestly really does help to know that I am not alone. I have horrible thoughts that won't leave no matter how happy I try to be or try to convince myself, it's sad that I can be happy for 5 minutes and the only reason is thinking positively that he will come back stupid eh?

[J86]

The connection was just so strong and no one has ever made me feel that way before I dunno how I am going to find that again

[pippy longstocking]

Thanks for all the advice and kind words honestly really does help to know that I am not alone. I have horrible thoughts that won't leave no matter how happy I try to be or try to convince myself, it's sad that I can be happy for 5 minutes and the only reason is thinking positively that he will come back stupid eh?

 

no its not stupid darling ...it is what we all do to get through the day in the early stages .. the only comfort you find is the thought of this turning all around ..... it's completely normal

[J86]

I feel like it's getting harder not easier cause I know he's happy and won't come back

[Teri008]

You don't need him to be yours ..you just need to realize that your stronger than him an karma does happen. I remember this chick left her dude of many years for another guy. Then that guy ended up cheating On her and got another girl preggos..she was devastated but thats karma for you. You'll meet somebody new and then later he'll see how much of a good person you were and will regret it. It's not a learning experience for you but for HIM. Once you meet somebody else you'll be good I promise. Stay strong and shake it off. Easier said than done but if you change your mindset you'll walk like it. Cheer up girlie ad find somebody on your level.

[J86]

Thank you so much! I just woke up to this message after yet again another sleepless night and it's exactly what I needed to hear ! Again I know this relationship wasnt long but it was so powerful and the coincidences on how we met Etc seemed so real I just thought he was the one but I know when they are the one they won't make you feel as insecure and doubtful as this guy made me feel towards the End, maybe it was bad timing maybe not, maybe I was his rebound who knows, it just felt so right, but I don't understand why men need to lead girls on some of the time, grow some balls and be up front lol a part of me knows if he comes back I won't want him ne more, but right now that is just a hopeful situation...