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I sort of cheated on my boyfriend

CruellaDaVil

By CruellaDaVil
in Relationship Advice

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CruellaDaVil Newbie

CruellaDaVil

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One night my boyfriend asked me to come to his place . I am really tired of just going to his place , so I said I don't want to spend my Friday night in the bedroom since he has never taken me out in 6 months and whenever I want to do something he cancels. We've been dating for a year and now all of a sudden he's stopped trying and all he wants to do is have sex. Basically, after I said I didn't want to come over , he said this is why we would never work because I am stubborn and that I have a low tolerance for relationships and I shouldn't be in one. Since he had already broken up with me 5 times before that statement I took it as another break up, I mean who says those kind of things to someone they want to be in a relationship with. So in my mind this is our last and final breakup and I go to the club that night with a friend of my friend that I have been flirty with and one thing lead to another and I am in the bedroom with him and we kiss, make out, cuddle and he stimulates my clit until I cum, but I refuse to have sex and he was ok with that. The next day I go to the club again with another long time friend and we also kiss, make out and he gives me fellatio but I refuse to have vaginal intercourse as well. It kind of felt weird being in bed with two guys in two days but I liked it and I didn't like it.Then my boyfriend texts me the next day, and tell me he was sorry , and he brings me flowers, cake, cards and all that mussy stuff. And because I feel bad I accept his apology. After the apology he still doesn't change his ways and after I tell him off about this he refused to talk to me. After one week of silence from my boyfriend, I had repeated the incident with the second guy again. By the second week, he texted me "Sex tonight?" I was so annoyed by this response , because he hadn't talked to me in weeks and all of a sudden he asks me for sex and I so said he should go himself. After 3 days, he came apologizing again saying he would change and all and I choose to believe him once again, but I dont want to have sex with him because I dont like sex and I feel like he is just apologizing because he really wants sex. So do I tell him that I cheated or just keep this nonsense to myself or break up again? What should I do.

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superfan Collaborator

superfan

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I agree with your boyfriend on one thing - neither of you are ready for a relationship right now and you both shouldn't be in one. His behavior says that he only wants to be 'in' a relationship for the regular sex it provides and your behavior says that you don't care about him at all.

 

You thought he broke up with him, so you went out and slept with two guys in two days? Don't get me wrong, I am not judging you on that (have as much casual sex as you want if you are single!) but what that says to me is that the relationship must not have meant that much to you in the first place.

 

If my husband and I broke up (even if it happened while we were dating) there is no way I could just go out and have sex with two guys in two days - I would still be far too emotionally raw. The fact that you could do that and enjoy it tells me that you should be single. Get it out of your system - have as much casual sex (safely) as you want and then when you are ready for a mature relationship try again with someone who values it just as much.

 

Either way, get out of this one.

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CruellaDaVil Newbie

CruellaDaVil

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Thank you , but every relationship is not and should not be like you and your husbands, so you telling me what you would do is insignificant. as you can never be in the same situation or have lived the life that i have so what you would actually do in my shoes cannot be known .If you missed it he had broken up with me 5 times before this and it constantly left me in a fragile and shattered state.( has your husband done that to you ?) By the 6th time I could not shed any tear anymore, and in my head it was the final time. I do regret going about the situation the way I did, I now realize that I don't actually have to be sexual with other people to solidify that I have actually moved on from an ex. Besides that my other regret is accepting his reconciliation and apology because I felt sorry for him. If I hadn't I wouldn't be feeling like I had cheated.

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lerenard Contributor

lerenard

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You don't want to have sex with your BF or go to his place to see him, but you go out two days in a row and let other guys please you.

"And because I feel bad I accept his apology" - very wrong.

Your BF actions are like a reflection of yourself. You don't care about people`s feelings (or maybe you try not to care as much), you just like them to please you, that's what it seems like from your behavior, hope I am wrong.

"Because I don't like sex" - you don't like to give in sex, you like to receive.

No you don't tell him you cheated, you just tell him that you don't want a relationship, you want to go out and have flirts with random guys and be free and you don't want to have sex with him.

Try to find yourself and what really matters in life before you enter a relationship.

Never accept an apology because you feel sorry for somebody, and never try validating yourself by surrendering your body to some random people, because you feel hurt.

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