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Wow. A Set-Back and a Half


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I've had a great span of a couple of weeks, finally repairing and healing, becoming myself once again.

 

I go to my mailbox this afternoon and see a letter addressed to me. Turns out it is from Ex's mother. They are very kind people, in fact, way too kind, extremely faithful. This letter thanked me for being such a blessing in her daughter's life at a tough time, and how my ex's mother cannot wait to see me out and about to catch up with me.

 

All I want to say is, lady, you daughter left me out in the cold with my heart in my hands. Your family truly is great, but the last thing I need is to converse with any of you to spark up any old emotions that are just starting to go away.

 

Dang. I could almost feel like I am going to get sick.

 

Anyone else experience this? I need advice here, I'm at a loss for words.

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I can imagine that would be quite the shock to receive. I know I would be in shock.

 

That said, it sounds like her family was really sweet. I might write back a kind letter saying thank you for thinking about me, you are a wonderful family and I was lucky to know you. At the same time, the break up has been very difficult for me as it was not my decision and I am trying my hardest to move on. As such it would be difficult for me to catch up with you at the moment. Perhaps that is something we can consider once the sadness is gone, I hope you understand, etc.

 

If it's any consolation, you must be a really nice person for you to receive an email from your ex's mom! They must've loved you.

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I think the mother is trying to appreciate you at a time when she senses her daughter can't or couldn't. The graceful thing here is to thank her for her kindness, and perhaps say you also look forward to being able to visit, though it may require some time before you are comfortable.

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One step at a time.. this wasn't expected. Yes, it nails you..again.

Breathe.......

 

Give it a day or so to process.. never do something under such stress. Think b4 you act.

Think about replying kindly- like noted, above ^. Explain your hurt.. and maybe someday..thank you etc.

 

This too shall pass.. i know how you feel.

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Is it irresponsible/immature of me to not respond at all? I don't see myself gaining anything from it.

 

It is very likely that I will run into my ex's family at a function closer to the holiday season, I was already dreading that scenario. After what transpired today, I am dreading it even more. I think I will just start ignoring all of my mail.

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Is it irresponsible/immature of me to not respond at all? I don't see myself gaining anything from it.

 

It is very likely that I will run into my ex's family at a function closer to the holiday season, I was already dreading that scenario. After what transpired today, I am dreading it even more. I think I will just start ignoring all of my mail.

 

it doesn't sound like she expects you to respond. sounds to me like she wants you to know that she likes and respects you and hopes that when you do see each other that you don't feel like you have to ignore her. and you don't. if you run into her you can totally have a short conversation with her about anything other than her daughter.

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Acknowledgement... that you are awesome!!!

 

Dont believe for a second that just because your ex failed to recognise, appreciate and value that awesomeness... everybody else you came into contact with failed to see it it too... they didn't fail to see. Their minds are not hers!

 

You got some real recognition there... feel good about it

 

Love your 1st instinct emotional response though... nicely done on avoiding that. Hehe better to type that here

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Been there too.

When my ex first left me, i started to receive FB messages from his mother. Saying things such as she's been crying because she misses me, that she thought i'd be her daughter in law some day, that no one could love her son like i did... etc etc.

Of course at the beginning i replied, poured my heart out. I thought somehow i would feel closer to my ex, even though i wasn't.

 

It held me back. So i stopped replying one day. Completely blocked her from my page and ignored every attempt she made to contact me again.

The clicker was when she started telling me about his new girlfriend, and of course i knew how much speaking to her was setting me back.

 

It's nice her mom sent you a letter. You do not need to reply to it at all. Just concentrate on healing yourself. One day when you do bump into her in the future and you're healed, you can explain you couldn't reply because you needed to heal first and i'm sure she'd understand.

 

Limiya

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Yea I had a similar experience but mines was worse and if it wouldn't have happened then I would have healed alot quicker. My ex sister text me on his bday about how inferior my ex was on his bday. She sent me a 4 page text and I ignored the last 2 texts and told her I didn't wanna hear about him pMS'ing. She later said sorry that she was jus venting. My therapist (or use to be therapist) says there's some kind of motivation why she won't leave me alone and tellin me how angey he is now. But that's besides the point unfortunately and I'm not gonna try and figure it out. I remember that day too I was on top of the world actually starting to feel better then BAM ! This. 4 page text. But less than a month later I'm back on top of the world and glad to say I'm over him to where I'm actually wanting to go out on dates and leave past in past. I have to agree these people are insensitive and unfortunately selfish people. I'm sure they are nice but inconsiderate at same time. Dust yourself off and keep going forward. Lol I was pissed too when I got that text so I know what your feeling..like "for real???" But hey it'll be alright I promise. Stay strong!

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I feel like my healing has been completely set back by weeks. It doesn't help that when the BU happened, we left on positive terms, and the whole "I know what I can do better" conversation that ended with a "who knows" about the future.. Its left me with the urge to contact my ex, even though i know I'm not ready for that yet. We have not spoken in 6 weeks.

 

It is great knowing her family views me in a positive light, it really is. I almost didn't open the letter and threw it away. If I did that, I wouldn't been stuck in reverse like I have been the last 24 hours.

 

Very, very frustrating.

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I feel like my healing has been completely set back by weeks. It doesn't help that when the BU happened, we left on positive terms, and the whole "I know what I can do better" conversation that ended with a "who knows" about the future.. Its left me with the urge to contact my ex, even though i know I'm not ready for that yet. We have not spoken in 6 weeks.

 

It is great knowing her family views me in a positive light, it really is. I almost didn't open the letter and threw it away. If I did that, I wouldn't been stuck in reverse like I have been the last 24 hours.

 

Very, very frustrating.

 

That 45 day mark is a tough one for most, regardless of third party interference. Tough it out, it gets much better at 60.

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