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Go with your GUT


jennylove

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I just want to put this list out there for anyone who is second guessing their feelings about anyone and questionable behavior. And please add any of your own to the list. Here is my list:

 

1) If you feel it isn't right, believe yourself - your intuition is very powerful.

 

2) If someones story isn't making any sense, then it isn't true.

 

3) And when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

 

4) When someone tells you who they are, believe them. For example, on our 2nd date, my first ex joked that he was fired from his first post-college job years ago because he was busted downloading porn on the company laptop - some 10 years ago. I laughed it off as him being young and stupid at that time. But as it turns out, he had a huge porn addiction that I couldn't deal with. And I didn't realize the extent of his porn addiction until 2 year after I began dating him! As I was packing my bags post breakup, I realized that he told me about his addiction on date 2 - when he confessed his job story in a jokingly way. But I didn't pay attention to what he was really saying!! Had I honed in, I would not have dated him.

 

5) Birds of a feather flock together. In other words, if your SO's friends are all known for cheating, being players, etc. Well guess what.....

 

 

In my life, I've been in 2 long tern relationship that went sour. After the 2nd one, I've learned I can see right through people and their BS. After reading some of these posts, I can tell that most of you are on here seeking answers and advice that you want to hear. But the truth- of- the- matter is something you are aware of but don't want to accept. You really can see people and their situation crystal clear. Just pay attention.

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6) People invest time and energy into things and people that are important to them. People WILL do what they want to do and they won't do what they DON'T want to do.

 

Example: If porn and pills are important to your fiance he will spend time trying to score pills and watching porn. If your birthday is important to your fiance he will at least take the time to purchase a nice card for you, even if he is working 12 hours a day. He did, in fact, find time for porn and a visit to the doctor while he was working said over time. Why do I always fall for s?

 

7) Realize that you won't find happiness in someone else.

 

8) Know that your worth is not determined by another human being. You truly must love yourself. Its taken me a very long time to truly understand this.

 

9) Respect YOURSELF. Otherwise, don't expect it from anyone else.

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I openly agree with this 100% ! When you ignore the red flags your setting yourself up for disaster and heartache! Lessons learned til I die! As matter of fact, I just got a text from a guy and his response was pretty arrogant and cocky..guess what? Out the window he goes! Lmao im lovin this! J

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So true! One of the many red flags my ex told me was regarding her former relationships. They never lasted long because she told me she'd run away when there were problems. Guess what? She broke up with me 5 times, took me back 4 of them. I didn't have enough self esteem to not keep coming back but it's true, she ran away when my "issues" came up or when things got rough. She told me post-BU that all she ever did was love me. Yeah right, you don't run away when times get rough. And when I asked her why she took me back all those times, she said because she was "soft", not because she loved me.

 

 

 

This is the biggest and hardest lesson I am learning. I put too much validation of myself in my ex and each time she left me, I felt worthless. This last time, I felt destroyed. But I am slowly getting better.

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I agree with mostly everything...except #1.

 

There's a reason we have a brain - and it's because our "gut" is stupid.

 

You should never ignore your intuition if something feels wrong, but just because it feels wrong...doesn't mean it is. Likewise, just because something feels right...well, that doesn't make it so.

 

Intuition, the subconscious, the reptilian part of your brain...it gets easily confused. Attraction can hide huge red flags, and anxiety and fear can create problems where there are none.

 

Do not blindly believe your gut - instead, use it as a guide to investigate what could really be going on.

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I agree with mostly everything...except #1.

 

There's a reason we have a brain - and it's because our "gut" is stupid.

 

You should never ignore your intuition if something feels wrong, but just because it feels wrong...doesn't mean it is. Likewise, just because something feels right...well, that doesn't make it so.

 

Intuition, the subconscious, the reptilian part of your brain...it gets easily confused. Attraction can hide huge red flags, and anxiety and fear can create problems where there are none.

 

Do not blindly believe your gut - instead, use it as a guide to investigate what could really be going on.

 

I'm inclined to agree with this. Listen to your gut, but also listen to reason and to your heart. When they are in conflict you have to weigh the issues and make a decision.

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